A feast of Charity at her fiesty and funny best

Emmerdale Christmas logoYou can hear me talking Soaps 10.30-11.00 am every Thursday on Swindon 1055.com (or simply use the tunein Radio App) and on my internet Soap Show 6.00-6.30 every Thursday on Tellyspy.

Charity’s tongue bulldozes its way through the village and Jai’s on very thin ice – literally!

Charity EmmerdaleChristmas came early for me this week with a feast of Charity at her fiesty and funny best as she spent the week tongue-lashing Jai. She was particularly cross when she saw Noah with him at the factory.

Jai explained that he’d just been telling Noah the truth about Rachel. It wasn’t well received. “Oh, you know, the time for telling the truth was when you knocked-up scrapy face,” she ranted.

Baby Archie came in for his share too. “Do you know; the kid’s probably really frustrated because he’s that desperate for his first little tracksuit and doesn’t know how to say it,” she raged on.

Great stuff, and it looked as if Christmas had come early to Emmerdale too – well, winter at least. We all know it’s colder ‘Up North’, but that snow scene and frozen pond were a bit of a surprise to see in late November. Jai stupidly went out onto the ice (don’t try this at home, kids).

“If you want me back on that jetty, admit there’s something between us,” he urged Charity.

“Yes … Archie,” she shouted back, before seeing him suddenly go straight through the ice

MeganAt least he got the ring back. He could see if (less hairy this week) David wants to buy it off him maybe, and maybe David could lend Robbie his razor too. That fluff under his chin is very distracting, as was Megan’s chest when she set off to use her womanly wiles on Gil. Did Moira helped her dress for the occasion?

It clearly worked – or it looked as if it had – as he told her he’ wanted’ her … to work for him. Ah. Not what I wanted to hear, but it’s a step in the right direction.

After finally losing the plot and lashing out at Megan I really feel that it’s the end of the line for Deccers. Let’s just have Gil buy him out, move into Home Farm himself and then marry Megan. That’s what we want to see, please!

Watch out for cars, kids

Edna EmmerdaleI want to see Charity in every episode too, but – unfortunately – we don’t always get what we want, do we (I’ve got a degree in that!)? Noah wants to see his mum back with Jai. It’s tough for the kids when the parents have a new partner every five minutes, but as he ran away from her he nearly got run over.

Honestly. That road’s a death trap. Go and get that vicar-woman to go and rattle her tin in the middle of it, will you? At least Ashley would get a decent night’s sleep again.

“Right now I’d settle for the chance of a night in a decent bed,” he told her.

“And I would love to give you one,” she replied (to Edna’s disgust)!

Betty, Edna & Pearl

“It’s my lack of testicles that’s the issue,” she contended. No it isn’t, love. They just don’t like you.

What a silly storyline: turning the selection of a new vicar into a competition and then having the interview done by the village’s ‘coven’ who – after having turned against Ashley (when he was a father-beater), have now turned back to him and clearly want him to take over from Jude the oblique.

In addition to the ones already mentioned; here’s the rest of our Grins of The Week:

Declan: “What’s up?”

Charity: My eyebrows – when Jai told me about his little ‘chavlet’.”

Jai: “Hit a nerve, have I?”

Charity: “No. You did that when you got Rachel up the duff.”

Georgia & Rishi EmmerdaleGeorgia: “Come on. Let’s get you into bed.”

Rishi: “Why? Isn’t Rodney ‘man enough’ for you, then?”

Jai: “Yesterday you wanted me to drop dead.”

Charity: “Well, you clearly didn’t.”

Katie: “Are you alright?”

Megan: “I was until you turned up.”

Lisa “Are you pleased with yourself ?”

Charity: “Are you? You’re the one giving little trainer-thief a place to live.”


* Gil is short for Giles (according to his business card). He definitely doesn’t look like a Giles, does he?

Robbie* “If the job was ‘looking bewildered and doing nowt’, you’d all be on a bonus,” Jai told the factory girls. I’ll bet some of you work with a few like that?!

* Little Arthur’s growing up, isn’t he? Bless!

* They want to do ‘Theme Nights’ up at Home Farm now, do they? ‘House of Horrors’ would be a good one. What with that wallpaper, those garish artefacts and now giant shark’s teeth adorning the place they could do a roaring trade!

* You might notice that Paul Roundell (one of the writers) has a very naughty side (if you’re listening very carefully and/or have that sort of mind!). As well as Harriet’s ‘give you one’ comment we also heard David tell a customer not to go putting too much horseradish on his beef. (Memories of Phillip Schofied and Fern Britton’s infamous beef-dunking on This Morning there!)


YOU MIGHT ALSO ENJOY MY YAHOO!TV SOAP ARTICLE: ‘WHAT WE LEARNT FROM LAST WEEK’S SOAPS’. (Original material, not duplicated from this post.) A humorous look at this week’s money/time-saving tips and hints from Soapland!

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