You can hear me talking Soaps 10.30-11.00 am every Thursday on Swindon 1055.com (or simply use the tunein Radio App) and on my internet Soap Show 6.00-6.30 every Thursday on Tellyspy.
Charity’s blue; Amelia’s orange, there’s black-haired brothers and Declan’s colour-blind.
Charity tried SO hard (for a few hours) to accept baby Archie, but I think the thought of him in his special Christmas outfit was the thing that finally tipped her over the edge.
She’s never been (or professed to be) an ‘earth mother’. It’s a wonder Noah’s survived as long as he has! He was in danger of getting run over last week, but this week it was Gobby’s turn to fall victim to ‘death road’ when she ran off in a strop because she couldn’t have a horse.
Miraculously, the new local villain, Ross, just happened to be lurking in the bushes and managed to fling himself in front of Diane’s car to save her. Nicola wasn’t convinced about his heroics: “He was probably trying to nick Diane’s car when she ran him over; using Gobby as a shield,” she commented in her usual deadpan manner. Great line, great delivery!
It’s the Black-Haired-Barton-Boys
We met the remaining Black-Haired Bartons on Friday, when Moira went to visit James. How close does he live to Moira, then? Far enough away to have made visiting impossible, presumably, as James’s two sons didn’t know who she was.
She’s their auntie; their dead father’s brother’s wife. They clearly couldn’t make the arduous trip to attend John’s funeral, but surely they’d have at least ONE photo of her somewhere? Maybe they just couldn’t find the album amongst all the mess, aye?
I can already feel Moira being drawn to him, but I still just can’t see him as John’s brother because they just don’t look even remotely alike.
As I’ve mentioned already: he should at least have had to dye his hair black, and as for those his two other sons; they don’t look anything like either James OR Ross (who couldn’t look more different to James if he tried).
It’s not like Emmerdale to cast families who don’t resemble each other. Call me picky, but I just find it hard to ‘bond’ with new characters if they don’t look as if they’ve at least dipped a toe in their family’s gene pool. Maybe they’re going to turn out to only be half brothers. That’d explain it!
Oh, I’ll get over it though, I’m sure, because there’s so much other great stuff going on (especially when Charity’s in it) to help me cope while they ‘bed in’. Which one of them will be the first one to ‘bed’ Katie though? It’s been a couple of weeks since she’s had a feller so she’s way overdue!
Come on Megan; seal the deal
I’m desperate for Megan to get together with Gil. She just needs to stop being so stubbornly loyal to Deccers.
“I truly believe that Home Farm has a great future as a hotel,” she urged him this week. As long as he redecorates it (to something less ’60s drug-addled flashback’) she’s right. Like I’ve said: it’s a huge opportunity to bring in some new characters and give the locals somewhere other than the Woolie or Bob’s to go to!
Amelia would have blended right in with Declan’s walls once Kerry had given her that makeover for the ‘Little Miss Yorkshire’ show. That girl’s a fine little actress, and her and Kerry’s scenes together were very funny. More please, and I wish we could have Val in every episode every week too.
Her ranting about Eric’s ‘perving’ this week has been hilarious, and as for Rodders being ‘gay’; he totally looked the part. Laugh-out-loud funny stuff! Lots of great (over) acting, facial expressions and brilliant banter all week, and here’s our Grins of The Week:
Val: “Please don’t leave me with him.”
Vic: “He’s your husband.”
Val: “Exactly. It’s not like I only have to see him at work.”
Charity: “If Jai calls, tell him I’m dead.”
Amelia: “My life is over.”
Dan: “What, again?”
Jai: “I might bring you something to cheer you up.”
Charity: “Right. Well, tell us when you’re coming and I’ll make sure we’re out.”
Cain: “Fancy a bacon butty?”
Moira: “Don’t tell me you’ve worked out where the oven is?”
Cain: “I wasn’t planning on making it myself.”
Dan: “Well, you know. Less is sometimes more, isn’t it?”
Kerrie: “No.”
Jai: “You’re not going to offer me a coffee then?”
Charity: “There’s a cafe up the road if you’re thirsty.”
Bernice (about the pony): “Well, I’m not sure that Santa’s going to be able to manage it this year.”
Gobby: “I’m not asking Santa, I’m asking you.”
Lauren: “She could have been snatched at the school gate.”
Bernice: “With the face on her when she left; I doubt it.”
Debbie: “Got a date with Jai’s wallet, have we?”
Gobby: “Arthur’s saying mean things about ‘One Direction’ again.”
Arthur: “That’s cos they’re rubbish.”
Kerry (about Amelia): “It was a radiant, golden glow. It’s not like I dipped the kid in wood stain.”
Jai: “They’re running a sweepstake to see how long it is before I end up with a horse’s head in the bed.”
Charity: “I wouldn’t do that to a horse. I’d just kill you in your sleep.”
PS
* ‘Ash Pash’? What’s that all about? I’m disliking this vicar-woman more with every episode!
* Val said, “The ‘Hunter’ becomes the hunted.” I used that line on this very blog a few weeks ago too!
* Little Arthur’s always itching to say his lines. Let’s hope he’ll be staying in the village long-term as I’ll really look forward to seeing him grow up and start getting some storylines of his own. He’ll have all the girls after him before long, that’s for sure!
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YOU MIGHT ALSO ENJOY MY YAHOO!TV SOAP ARTICLE: ‘WHAT WE LEARNT FROM LAST WEEK’S SOAPS’. (Original material, not duplicated from this post.) A humorous look at this week’s money/time-saving tips and hints from Soapland!
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