Charity's out for revenge, so look out Jai

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Declan’s ‘Mr Angry’; Charity’s steaming; Mr S is sweaty, Val’s wet and Veronica’s at the net!

Monday’s episode was the best I’ve seen in any soap (even the siege, etc) for ages. It had it all. SOOO funny. Great writing (by Karin Young) and some fine acting.

IMG_2527Val was on sparkling form. Already bereft after Amy’s departure, she then learned that Victoria was also handing in her notice. She didn’t take it well, so stormed off back to the Barn conversion, where Eric took one look at her and enquired: “I suppose there’s some ‘poor me’ storyline attached to this?”

Val & Vic Emmerdale“Don’t worry. She’ll be back drunk in an hour,” Diane reassured Vic in the pub and – boy – was she was right. Insults flew and Vic ended up chucking a glass of water over Val so she was ‘soaked’ two ways!

Once she calmed down she became all maudlin. “Victoria’s all I had left. She’s a poor imitation of Amy – I’ll grant you – but at least she was there,” Val wailed. She’s a brilliant drunk, and I loved it. Vic’s come on so much too, and pulls some great faces – like the one when Diane reminded her that Betty could even live to be 100!

Quick. Play dead, Rishi!

Rishi & Charity EmmerdaleSomeone with a face like thunder was Charity when she finally pieced it all together, and after interrogating Sam she was about to verbally batter Mr S into submission when he did the sensible thing and had a heart attack. A lot less painless than  having to deal with Charity any day of the week!

Once she’d got Jai, Rachel and Sam in the office for the big showdown the one-liners came thick and fast. Jai didn’t even have Rishi there for backup.

“Why don’t you phone him now? He might yank his tubes out and come rushing to your aid again,” Charity shouted.

Charity EmmerdaleJai tried that old faithful: ‘It’s not what you think.” Bad move.

“What I think? What I THINK … is that you and that skank had a filthy little tumble, yeah?” she replied as she rounded on Rachel.

“You know when we said we needed a scrubber? We actually meant cleaning the house. Next person you clean for; make sure you get some time off next time you’re ‘on heat’, yeah? Save everyone a lot of hassle,” she railed.

I just adore Charity and can’t wait to see what revenge she’s got planned for Jai. If I was him I’d keep my hand on my gonads or Chas might just find them served up in a Bushtucker Trial!

New balls please!

Veronica EmmerdaleI’ve not had a man in nearly three years,” Veronica revealed (Ha. I can beat that), then went off and reappeared ready for a game of ‘singles’.

“I think you might have got hold of ‘the wrong end of the stick’,” Hunter smiled nervously. I think was the general idea!

What would you do if you were Rodders? That’s a lot of money for doing what comes naturally. I’d be happy to go ‘escorting’ if I got to have a nice dinner and a chat, and Georgia’s right: “Your father accompanies a few ‘select’ clients on dinner dates. It’s hardly sex trafficking.”

Declan almost cracked a smile after he’d met with Gil. “I think you might have pulled, by the way,” he told Megan. “He kept going on about how impressed he was with you. Mind you … he was wasted,” he mused. And he wonders why Katie left him …

Gil & Declan EmmerdaleThere was some great banter between Declan and Katie about the divorce. Her having ‘so many grounds’ to choose from, telling Gil to check that he still had his watch after shaking hands with Deccers, and him then telling Gil: “I’d give her more money if I thought she’d spend it on a dangerous sport!”

I’m not happy with Declan shouting at our lovely Megan either. How about Gil buying him out of Home Farm and then marrying Megan? Now that’s a storyline I’d like to see!

What a great twist at the end too: the deeds all being in Katie’s name and Robbie telling her. Can’t wait for next week!

It’s been a bumper week of one-liners. Here’s our Grins of The Week:

Charity: “Did she rustle? I need to know if all those man-made fibres rustled when you undressed her.”

Declan: “The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.”

IMG_2528Megan: Oh my God. He’s channelling Oscar Wilde now. (He’s certainly Mr Angry!)

Sandy: “Ashley drove me here in his new car.”

Diane: ” You only live next door!”

Rodney: “I didn’t do anything wrong.”

Rishi: “He just wanted my permission for Archie to call him dad.”

Charity: “Archie can’t talk.”

Georgia: “Oh, no. It was Hunter. He just borrowed your … ” (looks down at his flies). Brilliant!

Edna EmmerdaleMegan: “As soon as you’re back on your feet, there’ll be a whole gang of ‘Katies’ queuing round the block.”

Declan: “God, I hope not.”

Sandy (asking Rhona about Ashley in his new car): “Did he attract you?”

Edna: “Don’t be disgusting!”

Vic: “Will you buy me out of Betty’s house? I’ve decided to go to Dublin.”

Diane: “And that’ll cost you sixty grand? You can fly there for thirty quid!”

Eric: “You look a sight.”

Val: “I couldn’t care less.”

Diane & Chas EmmerdaleVal (bitterly; drunk): “Judith.”

Diane: “Who’s she?”

Chas: “Judas with a lisp?”

Val: “Shut it, you.”

Chas: “Ooh, she’s in ‘The Sweeney’ now!”

Robbie: “Selling the houses off one by one; it’s a mug’s game. You want one buyer who’ll take the lot.”

Val EmmerdaleDeclan: “Why didn’t I think of that? Hold on a minute – I did (!)”

Diane (about Eric) “He’s lost.”

Val: “Do you think if I asked him nicely he’d stay lost?”

Diane: “Do you really want to be on your own for good?”

Val: “God, NO. I’d end up like you!”


* Why did Priya have morning sickness at night?

* LOVED the woman with the animals who told ‘Ashton’ when he asked her where she was from: ‘I’m not meant to reveal any personal information in case you’re a RAPIST.’

Ness's sister? Emmerdale copyVanessa Emmerdale* This speed dater looks like Vanessa’s sister!

* Diane said she was two bridesmaids down instead of two barmaids down (unless that was a freudian slip?)!

* Robbie’s funny little dirty patch is getting darker!

* Was Rhona’s box of antibiotics the same one as the box of painkillers Bob had given her earlier?


YOU MIGHT ALSO ENJOY MY YAHOO!TV SOAP ARTICLE: ‘WHAT WE LEARNT FROM LAST WEEK’S SOAPS’. (Original material, not duplicated from this post.) A humorous look at this week’s money/time-saving tips and hints from Soapland!

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