Corrie Corner – 26th February 2012

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So: is Lewis genuine this time, or is he really “Like an oil slick, only twice as lethal,” (as Audrey described him on Sunday)? If I were a betting woman I’d say it’s a trick, and if he’s living in that bedsit (which looks better than my room at my dad’s!), then the thought of Audrey’s nice big house can’t be far from his mind …

Time will tell, but there’s been far too many other things going on this week for me to dwell on it; the most exciting being the return of Beth’s son Craig.

When they made that cameo appearance last year I wrote in my post of 7th August to say how brilliant they were and how much I hoped they’d be back and – thankfully – here they both are, at last!

What a pairing, and what a brilliant idea: to put them in a house with Tracy. The banter and one-liners between them (and Steve), have been a joy this week – as have some of the expressions. Deirdre had hold of Amy as if she feared she was about to be set-upon by a pack of wolves, and her face was a mixture of disbelief and disgust.

Mind you; who wouldn’t be disgusted at having a rat in a cage on the table and a picture like that on the wall in front of you? (It looks better than the wallpaper though!)

“He’s a starer. Who knows what’s lurking behind those eyes?” Deirdre fretted to Norris and Rita in the Rovers later.

I wonder what’s lurking behind Curse-ty’s eyes. Tyrone’s so whipped, and even got the third degree over going out with Tommy for the evening. She’s very cunning, because she gives him baby evils, then turns on the charm (if that’s the right word!), by fluttering her eyelashes and coming out with lines like, “It’s part of the reason why I’m so nuts about you.”

You’re nuts alright, lady, and so is Tyrone for not seeing through you.

Talking of seeing things: on Monday, Tyrone put his nice checked shirt on to go out in, but not five minutes later there it was on someone else’s back in the Rovers. (I’ve checked it over and over and it’s definitely a different bloke as he’s bigger than Tyrone and in the very next scene, Ty’s in the Bistro with Tommy so I don’t think I’m mistaken?) I was chuffed to see Harry Hill hadn’t even spotted it in Saturday’s TV Burp!

I thought we’d got a replacement Rosie Webster for a moment too, as Jodie set her sights on Tommy. She had some good lines, and acted them well (in true ‘Rosie’ style), but turned-out to be nothing more than a dalliance – or maybe a potential future bunny-boiler/stalker once he and Tina get together? (Do you reckon she might be a friend of Kirsty’s?)

Jodie’s gone now, and Ches thought Katy was too, when she disappeared after having left baby Joseph with Faye (no wonder he was crying!). Owen wasn’t happy.

“What the ‘eck were you thinking; leaving Joseph with a kid like Faye?” he cried in exasperation.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Faye demanded.

“Two words: dead fish,” he shot back. That explained it!

It was nice to see them all sat down discussing it like sensible adults:

Katy: “Shut it.”

Chesney: “YOU Shut it.”

Anna: “Both of you, Shut it!”

Things finally calmed down though, and the young couple were left-alone with their baby, and to hopefully deal with it all a little better now (well, until he gets some life-threatening illness in a few months time). Raising a child is the hardest job in the world – especially when you’re barely more than a child yourself.

Carla’s also finding that out the hard way, and must be wondering what the hell she’s got herself into – as the little incident in the playground spiralled into a near lynch-mob by the end of the week. Peter was hardly supportive of her, and she’s truly got the weight of the world on her shoulders at the moment.

Thank goodness for Michelle. “We make a good team, you and me,” Carla said as they high-fived each other and held onto each other’s hands. (Another ‘little moment’ there.) Things are only going to get worse though, as Leanne’s back, and her and Stella combined are going to be a force to be reckoned-with.

I never thought I’d say this, but I have to admit that Michelle Collins has grown into the part and turned Stella into a convincing character, and with an (almost) convincing accent! I love how protective and supportive she is of Leanne, and it was so sweet to hear Lea call her “Mum” on Friday. Can’t wait for this week’s Episodes!

There’s been some great comedy writing this week, and with so many contenders I hardly knew which to choose (and actually had to leave some out), so here’s a bumper Grins of the week:

Beth: “Poor mite. He’ll have to walk. It’s getting on for half a mile.”

Steve: “That’s not so bad.”

Beth: “He’s a 13-year-old lad, not Sebastian Coe!”

Deirdre (about Audrey): “Come on Gail. I know your mother of old. A bit of honey from lover-boy here; I bet they were up her stairs two at a time.”

Frank: “Peter; can I help you?”

Peter: “Only by dropping dead.”

Beth: “It’s our Craig. He’s musically gifted. Oh, you should see him on his bongos.”

Steve: “That’d be a treat (!)”

Hayley: “Sylvia?”

Sylvia: “No. It’s the tooth fairy. Well, what are you waiting for: a communion wafer? Go and get my bags in.”

Beth: “Ey, you. I was talking.”

Tracy: “Yeah, well now I’m talking.”

Beth (to Audrey): “So. Are you the Receptionist, or what? I’m not being funny, but … is there anyone here under 60?”

Gail: “I’m nowhere near 60!”

Steve: “Shut up Tracy, and do one, will you?”

Tommy: “I know what it’s like to be in love.”

Tina: “What, when you’re shaving?”

Frank: “How do you think clients feel when they see you?”

Carla: “And what do they see when they look at you? I know what I see.”

Frank: “Yeah, ‘double’, most likely.”

David: “Hi Steve. Becky sends you her love.”

Steve: “Does she?”

David: “No. She says you’re dead to her.”

Lewis: “I won’t even try to make excuses for earlier.”

Audrey: “Oh, no, go on. God knows, I could do with a laugh.”

Sylvia: “Some of that knitwear is C&A’s. It’s irreplaceable.”

PS How poignant and almost painful it was to watch the scenes between Roy and Sylvia. Both completely incapable of expressing their emotions in words (“Roy. Your mother was leaving and you thanked her for her industry,” Hayley exclaimed), but ‘saying it all’ in the fact that she came back and he took her cases upstairs. Bless.

PPS David and Kylie got back off their holiday and went straight to Audrey’s, but didn’t even mention Max. Where was he anyway, and – talking of missing children – where’s Hope? You wouldn’t think Fiz even had a baby at the moment, would you?

PPPS I love how Audrey says “D’ya know,” all the time. It’s SO much a part of her character!

"Just Good Friends?" the debut novel by Jane ReynoldsPPPPS Tyrone had a white fleece on – while working in a mucky garage. EVERY woman would ‘give him evils’ for that!

* If someone looked at me the way Carla looks at Michelle, I’d be in Heaven, and if you like the idea of them together, then you’ll definitely like my novel, the chick-lit romance “Just Good Friends?” It’s on Amazon/Kindle. SIMPLY CLICK HERE!


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