Corrie Corner – 4th March 2012

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Leanne’s back, and how moving was Simon’s performance? “Mum! I knew you’d come back!” he cried and ran to her joyfully. I cried too, and cried some more when he wailed, “You can’t go away again … you can’t!”

Leanne’s decided to fight for Simon, and there was a cracking scene when she found Carla at the flat. “This is MY moral highground,” Leanne shouted as it all kicked-off and Carla ‘reminded her’ about her affair with Nick (oops).

“I care about Simon,” Carla asserted (‘course you do, love!).

“No you don’t. You haven’t got a maternal bone in your body,” Leanne snapped back. It’s true, as was Leanne’s next line: “Peter doesn’t love you, Carla. He’s addicted to you – like he is to the booze.”

She’s right on both counts … and Carla knows it.

Peter’s doing a good impression of a right spoilt brat at the moment, isn’t he? Carla didn’t sign-up for that, and to top it all, Ken wants her to stop drinking. Well, if that doesn’t put the tin hat on their relationship, I don’t know what will!

It’s like watching a car crash in slow-motion as their bickering intensifies, and Carla has more and more worries heaped on her shoulders. If she could turn the clock back a few weeks I’ll bet she would, as what with Leanne back and Peter wallowing in self-pity  it’d take a saint to be able to cope with it all, and to not even be able to open a bottle of red at the end of a day would just be a step too far for Carla!

My Carla/Michelle theory seems to be proving rather popular, and would be the perfect ‘happy ending’ for Carla, and she’s definitely not happy with Peter. They’re such opposites (something which is becoming clearer with every Episode now), and I simply can’t see them staying together.

I’d heard a rumour – must have been over a year ago now – that Peter was leaving. That would make the jigsaw fit nicely. Peter leaves; Leanne gets Simon, gets back together with Nick, and Carla gets together with Michelle. Sorted. Tidy. (Notice Leanne’s face when Nick gave Eva the flowers? Talk about ‘awkward’!)

Someone who is in danger of leaving – feet first – is Frank. What a cheeky twist to see him getting into Jenny’s car on Monday, and with Sally seeing that email, his ‘cunning plan’ looks as if it’s about to come unstuck.

There was a bit of Appropriate/Inappropriate Music in the Background as Sally confronted Jenny and Frank. Adele’s Rolling in the Deep was playing on the stereo and had lots of lines like, #You’re going to wish you never had met me, and #You’ll pay me back and reap what you’ve sownOoh, it doesn’t bode well for Frank, does it?

We also had At last, my love has come along playing in the background (followed by Simply Red’s Stars), as Beth attempted to seduce Steve. How funny? I’m loving it, and loving the chemistry between her and Tracy. Those two are like a pair of magnets, and it’s a joy to see them on-screen together.

Tracy’s fake apology seemed to work, and Beth even offered the olive branch over the picture. “I can take it down if it’s making you feel insecure,” she offered, then added, “D’ya know? You’re not as bad as folks say.” It was all another of Tracy’s tricks though, and poor old Steve was the innocent victim as Beth gave him both barrels!

Nice to hear Craig’s first lines too. I love his dead-pan expression! He’s going to be great, and I can’t wait for him to get a storyline. Maybe it’ll be with Deirdre? “Tracy. You never told me Craig was a potter,” Deirdre exclaimed excitedly.

“Well, I didn’t want to mention all the really exciting stuff straight away,” Tracy replied – with her usual hint of sarcasm!

Gail’s had a good week on the laughter front too, and didn’t even try to dislike her dislike for Lewis. “Afternoon,” he smiled pleasantly as he walked into the Bistro.

“We’re shut,” she snapped. With customer service skills like that it’s no wonder Nick snapped Lewis up to be his Maitre d etc. That’ll give us plenty of laughs I don’t doubt, and – yet again – it’s a bumper week for those one-liners, so let’s enjoy my Grins of the week:

Peter: “Say ‘bye’ to Carla.”

Simon: “No.”

Stella: “He’s been married more times than Elizabeth Taylor.”

Beth: “Elizabeth who? Is she from round here? Is she after my Steve?”

Peter: “Carla’s made a massive effort.”

Leanne: “Really? Has she? Pricked the ready meals with a fork all by herself, did she?”

Frank: “I’m taking Jenny.”

Anne: “What about Sally?”

Frank: “I don’t think they do romantic breaks for three.”

Tracy: “Keep at it. Before you know it he’ll be like putty in your hands.”

Beth: “Ooh, I hope not!”

Carla: “So this is where you’re hiding out, is it?”

Peter: “I’m having my breakfast; I’m not exactly wearing a false beard.”

Audrey: “Gail. There’s no need to be rude.”

Gail: “Rude? If I bit my tongue any harder it’d drop off.”

Julie: “Banging on the door, gone 9.00. We were right in the middle of dirty dancing.”

Hayley: “Ooh, I love that film.”

Julie: “Oh, I don’t mean the film.”

Norris: “I was half expecting a call from the Hospital.”

Dennis: “Why’s that, Norris?”

Norris: “I thought the shock to your system of doing a few hours’ work might have proved too much for you.”

Carla: “I’ve got a meeting.”

Frank: “Alcoholics Anonymous?”

PS Leanne sniffed Peter’s jacket and cried. It was probably he smell of smoke making her eyes water!

PPS “Glam up an old pullover with a beautiful butterfly or a galloping horse,” Gail remarked, looking in an embroidery magazine. Someone needs to let Emmerdale’s Amy know. She’d love that.

PPPS Peter could always get a job in Grease when the bookie’s goes under. I don’t know if he can sing (probably not, with all that smoking), but he certainly looks the part!

PPPPPS Which paper round did Dennis do? He picked up the bag and just set off. Whose round was it, and surely he would have needed a list – unless he’s got a photographic memory.

I speak from experience. Oh, yes. I did many a paper round when I was a lass. There was an old guy whose house just happened to be the very last one on my route, and he stood on the door every morning moaning that I was ‘late’, and this was at 7.30 in the morning (after I’d started my round at 6.00!)

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