Corrie Corner – 20th January 2013

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Tyrone wants to keep his baby; Tina wants to keep Izzy’s baby; Fiz has forgotten she’s got a baby, and Mary’s mothering Roy.

IMG_1278If you don’t want your husband to find out you’ve done a pregnancy test it’s probably best not to put the evidence in the bin, is it?

In a REAL kitchen bin you’d have had soggy tea bags and all sorts of gruesome food slops, but the contents of Gail’s bin dropped neatly to the floor so that David was able to clearly see that thin blue line without having to wipe half a pot of mouldy old yoghurt off it first!

After a week of feeling damned if she did and damned if she didn’t Kylie decided to keep the baby, but it’ll be an anxious moment when it pops out and she’s able to look and see which brother it resembles.

It shouldn’t be difficult to guess. If they’re able to pull it out by its ears then it’s Nick’s; simple!

Corrie? Nappy Alley, more like

Coronation Street’s going to be overrun with babies within the next few months. They’ll be needing to open a creche or something, as the kiddies are going to have to go somewhere while their parents are off gallivanting around the place as if they’re young, free and single, aren’t they?

TinaYou’d be forgiven for forgetting that Fiz has got a child. Poor little Hopeless is harder to spot than the Invisible Man, and when was the last time we saw Joseph? We’ve seen more of Tina’s baby over the last couple of months than we have of those two – and that one’s not even born yet.

Do you get the feeling that Tina’s starting to bond with it though? She definitely looked to have a bad case of ‘lingering/wistful looks’ in that hospital, didn’t she? Ooh, that’d be a good tug of love/custody case, wouldn’t it? I wonder if that’s what’s going to happen? Hope so!

Sure you’re doing the right thing, Ty?

Tyrone & FizTyrone’s determination to hang on to baby Ruby (goodness knows why with those psycho genes) is the reason he’s going through with the wedding to Curse-ty, but I’ve read a fair bit of criticism over the fact that there’s lots of other ways he could have got custody rather than having to marry her, and that starting the affair was also a stupid thing to do.

This is a Soap though, and it wouldn’t have been much of a storyline if he hadn’t, would it? I don’t suppose there’s many of us out there who don’t know what’s going to happen (as it’s been all over the media) but – once again – you have to hand it to Natalie Gumede for her performance as Curse-ty this week (not forgetting Tryone and Fiz too, of course!).

She’s behind you!

KirstyIt was a wonderful touch to see Curse-ty’s hands shaking at the party as she read the texts (I’m surprised they were so polite – and not full of dirty ‘sex‘ talk, weren’t you?), and totally chilling to see her lean over and kiss Fiz’s cheek after she’d invited her to the party.

Tyrone & KirstyI was on the verge of almost feeling a bit sorry for her as she was clearly absolutely devastated (and who wouldn’t be?), but that only lasted for a moment when I was reassured to see (and hear) her screaming with rage and frustration as she threw the photo frame and sunk to the floor at the end of Friday’s second episode.

Poor Tyrone. He thinks that she hadn’t found the phone. Oh, how wrong he is, and how he’s going to be made to pay. Bring it on. Monday can’t come soon enough!

Hayle Mary

Mary & HayleyWe found out this week that Julie Hesmondhaugh’s going to be hanging up her red raincoat as Hayley.

I don’t blame her. There’s only so far that she and Roy could ever have gone together as neither could ever have an affair (not counting Tracy’s claim that she’d slept with Roy that time!), so they’ve pretty-much done it all now, haven’t they?

It can’t be much of a challenge for an actor to simply turn up each week just for a few lines here and there, can it, and after this week’s scenes with Mary I get the sense (and certainly hope) that they’re already lining her up as a replacement for Hayley. They’ve got such a lot in common, and it would make a very sweet ending for the broken-hearted Roy to find happiness again with the lonely and equally-unique Mary.

Roy & MaryDid you notice how Roy involuntarily flinched when Mary leaned towards him when she offered him a massage? It’s those tiny little details and nuances of David Neilson’s which make Roy such a marvellous character.

The same is true of Patti Clare, who has that incredible balance between the sinister and the hilarious which makes Mary so fascinating to watch.

Both of them are very clever and very funny actors, and there’s a LOT of both comedy and poignant mileage to be had from pairing them up. That’s something I’ll be hoping for and looking forward to in the future.

I wouldn’t look too smug if I were you, Rob …

MichelleI’m also hoping that something will happen between Carla and Michelle in the not-too-distant future too, and the way Michelle looked at Carla when she learned that she’d made Rob a partner gave me a bit more optimism that we might be seeing some developments in that department before too long.

I can’t believe that Carla would have even taken Rob’s rival operation seriously though. How on earth would Carla’s customers have been so naive as to sign contracts with Rob when he had no track record, no premises and no staff? He’s way too smug by half, that bloke.

RobThe more I see of him, the more I dislike him, but as the fate of any male boss at Underworld seems to be an untimely death within the year, I hope we won’t have to put up with his smarmy gloating for too long now!

There’s more for Carla and Michelle fans to enjoy in Carchelle Corner, and here’s our Grins of the Week for all you one-liner fans:

Mary: “I had an Aunt: Milly. Well, Mildred, but she thought it made her sound like a spinster headmistress, which – of course – she was.”

Curse-ty: “Don’t be nervous; I don’t bite.”

Fiz: “I wouldn’t put it past you.”

Izzy: “If you had a rotten name like Florence Bigbum, you’d want to change it.”

Sean: “I think I know her.”


* Hope you caught Mary’s tip of using (about half a cup) of washing powder in water on a burned pan? My mum taught me that one and it really works. Just leave it to gently simmer on the hob for about ten minutes and it should be good as new. (If not, leave it for a little longer or tip it out and do it again with fresh powder.)

Sean* Dev said that Sunita was the mother of his children. Ooh, why do I always find that such a sexy and romantic line?

* “Well, Lewis. I wouldn’t say no to a cocktail,” Sean winked. I’ll bet you wouldn’t, you dirty boy!

* AS IF Rob would have known whether a wine was corked or not! God, he’s so ‘up himself’, and if it HAD been corked, Carla would certainly have known and have already sent it back.


Got a comment on anything I’ve talked about this week? Tell me what YOU think in a comment below; tweet me before Wednesday afternoon or call in to ‘Jane’s Soapy Corner’ live on Tellyspy between 6.00-6.30 on Wednesday night so that I can put your points across to my listener on the show online!

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