Corrie Corner 3rd July 2011

(You’ve got a bumper edition this week; I got a bit carried-away!)

It’s been a while since we had a good old punch-up in the Rovers, but this was a stonker. Skin and hair flying everywhere, and it was perfect (but predictable!), timing, seeing the chair smash through the window just as Steve got out of the cab!

There’s been a lot of ‘Goings-on’ in the Rovers this week, full stop.  I was excited for a moment when Steve sacked Stella, but I knew he wouldn’t mean it.  He didn’t, and it gave her the chance to organise Leanne’s 30th Birthday Party.  Pardon me for saying, but wouldn’t you have thought that Peter might have already planned something – other than cooking her a meal in the flat?  Remind me not to marry him next time he’s on the market.

Les Battersby - Jane Reynolds' 'Corrie Corner' Coronation Street blogspotSo.  Stella is ‘Gypsy-Rose Le-anne‘s’ mother.  It’s all out in the open now, and I must admit, they do have a look of each other.  I really can’t believe that Stella would have gone with Les Battersby though.  She’d have been way out of his league, surely? Still doesn’t fix the problem that her new sister Eva looks older than both Leanne and her mother.  I’m sorry; I’m not going to say it again after today, but (although she’s got a good accent), she really is SO mis-cast!

It was a good slanging match between her and Stella afterwards.

Stella: “Did you ever feel neglected?”

Eva: “I do now!”

Karl Price - from Jane Reynolds' Corrie Corner reviewOoh, wasn’t Karl assertive when he grabbed hold of Stella to stop her following Eva out of the room?  “Leave her,” he growled (in a way you knew really meant ‘Leave her or else’).  I still can’t put my finger on who he’s the double of (it’s someone from way back), but I have spotted another likeness, and it fits in perfectly with EastEnders’ actors coming up to Corrie.

Jack Branning - from Jane Reynolds' Corrie Corner reviewWhat do you think?  They could definitely ship Jack Branning in as Karl’s younger brother.  Cindy could give him a few lessons on how to perfect a believable Northern Accent, and before you know it we’ll have Cor-Enders, or does East-nation Street have a better ring to it?

Another one good at impressions is Peter Barlow.  He wouldn’t have looked out of place as a long-lost cousin at Tam and Afia’s wedding in EastEnders last week!  By the way; would you have looked in Stella’s purse?  No, nor me. Oh, you would?  Ah, ok.

Right: back to Poppadom Peter.  At least it makes him look a little bit closer to little Simon’s colouring, so I guess it’s ok.  If he and Leanne have a baby I wonder what skin tone it’ll have – seeing as Simon’s mother was pale-skinned and blond as I recall?

I hear Julie’s going to get it together with Brian.  If they gets their skates on, she might be able to have a baby too.  Julie as a mother?  How much comedy mileage could you get out of that one?!  Family’s important to Julie:

Julie: “There’s nothing more important than family.  Who said that?”

Eileen: “You did.”

Norris would have made a good Grandma (in the Les Dawson/Roy Barraclough mould).  Did you ever see such a busy-body?  He was desperate to get the lowdown on Carla and Frank when he saw them coming into the Factory together.  Carla put him in the picture.

Norris Cole - Jane Reynolds' 'Corrie Corner' Coronation Street blogCarla: “Do you want to know what it was?”

Norris: “I do really, yes.”

Carla: “Do you really?”  (Smiles, then shouts angrily in his face)  “… None of your business!”

Aah, didn’t our Soph look all smart when she was pitching her Charity Auction to Carla and Frank? Turning into a right little fund-raiser, isn’t she?  I have a feeling it’s going to end in tears though, as that James is no better than he should be, and I’ve thought right from the start that there was something very fishy about him …

This wasn’t a deliberate link (honestly), but I’ve just got to the bit in my notes about Frank telling Carla he’d take her for some ‘proper’ fish and chips in Whitby.  He’ll be meaning the Magpie Cafe then. CLICK HERE FOR MAGPIE CAFE SITE My mouth’s watering as I type, especially as you can’t get proper fish and chips down here.  They just can’t do the batter right.  Ooh, don’t get me started …

I have to give a special mention to the ‘bit-part’ actor who played the Newton & Ridley delivery man this week.  As you’ll know if you’re a regular reader, it never ceases to amaze me how these folk are given their shot at the big-time and normally manage to fail so badly at it, but he was the exception.

Becky McDonald - Jane Reynolds' 'Corrie Corner' Coronation Street blogspotHe totally nailed that part, and – mark my words – we’ll see him again in a different/proper part in a Soap at some point in the future.  Becky gave him ‘what for’, but can you blame her?  My heart’s gone out to her this week, and she’s played it so well.

When she just slipped quietly out of the back door; how sad was that?  I’m getting my tissues ready for next week too, as it’s not looking very promising for Fiz at the moment either, by the look of things.

The laughs tailed-off towards the end of the week (the exception being Mary’s finger-pointing to her eyes at Norris; what was that all about?), but here’s my Grins of the Week:

Anna (to Gary): “Don’t talk to me like that.  I gave you life,” and

Norris (to Sean): “That’s an awful lot of sweets.”

Sean: “They’re not all for me.  My son’s inherited my sweet tooth.”

Norris: “Feed him all of those and he won’t have any teeth, will he?”

PS As Leanne walked into the back room at the Rovers on Friday, the clock said 6.30.  Peter pushed the door shut and the clock said 6.45.  Doesn’t time fly?

PPS Check out the dodgy-looking cactus on the shelf in Gary and Izzy’s flat.  I’m saying nothing.  Go and see for yourself … THE END!

Ah, not quite …

Here’s an extra little thought for you. I read a comment somewhere this week on the Stella issue which went something like: “Being an Actor is a job.  If you can’t do accents, should you be in that job?”

Stella Price - Jane Reynolds' 'Corrie Corner' Coronation Street blogspotIt’s really exercised me, has this, and this is where I’m struggling.  You’ll know my views on Cindy/Stella (if you’re new this week, take a look back over the last couple of ‘Corrie Corners’ if you fancy it).  I thought Michelle Collins was wonderful as Cindy, and she’s done a lot of other great work but … she just can’t do the accent.  I’m sorry, but it’s three weeks in and she’s still no better.

If ONLY she could get it right, as even though I still think of her as Cindy I know she’d grow on me as Stella, but I just cringe whenever she opens her mouth, which leads to the debate – if having a Northern accent is part of the ‘job’ for a character who is supposed to be born and bred ‘oup North’, then THAT is what she should have, and if she hasn’t, then should she have got the part?

It’s like getting a guy who says he’s a kitchen-fitter in to fit a kitchen and then finding out he doesn’t know how to use a drill; employing a TV news-reader who can’t read; or setting up auditions for a cat actor for bonkers Brenda in Emmerdale let’s say, and then someone turning up with a dog.

You say, “We’re actually looking for a cat,” and the owner says “No, it’s ok. He’s learning to be a cat, and, besides, nobody’ll mind, because he’s the dog that used to play Wellard in EastEnders, so people will soon get used to him.” See what I mean?

There’ll be loads of Actors sat there knowing they’d have been great in that part, and is it good enough just to say “It’s ok, people will get used to her because, hey … it’s CINDY BEALE.  We’ve got CINDY BEALE in Corrie. That’s all you should care about!”  Shouldn’t she actually be able to do THE most important thing required of that part: talk ‘proper’?

I’m torn. I love Michelle Collins as an actress, but I don’t like her in Corrie (ONLY because of the accent), and that’s the last I’m going to say on the matter.  “Move on,” I ‘m chanting to myself as I type.

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(Here’s my post from this week’s ‘Corrie Countdown’ website)

Dear Dr Jane,

Leanne Barlow - Jane Reynolds' 'Corrie Corner' Coronation Street blogspotI’m a bit worried.  I hit 30 this week and my world’s been shattered.  I didn’t think my husband had planned anything for my Birthday (and I ended up in the pub), but it turns out he DID have a surprise for me – my long-lost mother, who says she’s been living only a few miles down the road from me my whole life but – I’m sorry – I just don’t believe her.

I reckon she must have lived somewhere else for at least some of that time, or why would she speak the way she does?  On top of that, my other sister Toyah (who’s my step-sister by the way), rang to say she’d missed her train from London and that she’d have arrived too late for my party, so wasn’t coming now.

I’d have thought they’d have had more than one train a day out of London, and as my party started at 6.00 (and would have gone on until at least 11.00 – with it being in a pub and all), you’d have reckoned she’d have caught the next one, wouldn’t you?  Besides, if she was coming all that way, surely she’d have been staying-over?  Do you think she’s hiding something from me too?

Then my step-mum and dad didn’t turn up either, so it was all a bit upsetting, but not half as upsetting as finding out that I’ve now got a proper half-sister too, especially as she looks way older than me. How did all this happen?  I’m so confused, Dr Jane.  What should I do?  I can’t even turn to drink (as it’ll set my husband off again, and God knows where we’d be then).  Are pills the answer?

Leanne


Dear Leanne,

This is a terrible situation, but I’m afraid there’s not a lot I can do to help with this one.  I suggest you face up to the fact that she’s your mother, and be glad that you’ve got a real ‘look’ of her, and less of a look of your dad, and also that you look younger than your half-sister.  There’s always a silver lining there somewhere – if you look hard enough.

Give it time.  Your mother’s accent might improve (as will your relationship), over time, but I don’t recommend taking pills.  Swallow your pride instead, and get yourself round to a Factory-owning friend’s flat and drink some good red wine – but not too much mind; not if you’re thinking of becoming pregnant in the near future.  Let your friend have the lion’s share.  I don’t think she’ll complain.

See how that goes, and make sure you have a mint on the way home so your husband doesn’t smell in on your breath, or you’ll find yourself pregnant sooner than you think.

Dr Jane.

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