Corrie Corner – 30th October 2011

*You can hear me talking Soaps 11.30-12.00 am Thursdays & 4.10-4.25 pm Fridays on Swindon 105.5 FM CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

I find trials ‘A bit of a trial’ to be honest. After the useless Police investigations (where they virtually step over the killer with the knife in his hand in order to arrest an innocent person), we then have the Prosecution make that same innocent person look like the devil incarnate while the Defence … have no defence.

Fiz - Coronation Street - Jane Reynolds' weekly 'Corrie Corner' reviewLuckily for us (and our blood pressure), it’s usually all over fairly quickly, and this week we saw Fiz ‘Going dahhn’ for Colin’s murder – despite there not being any actual evidence to convict her. Vulture Mary was having a ball. “I don’t know why I pay my licence fee – with all this on tap for nothing,” she trilled, but as Fiz wailed to Chesney “I need a miracle Ches,” that miracle was happening, as Mr Chips was kidnapping Rosie so that he could teach her what to say in Court in order to get Fiz off the hook.

You’d have thought that with all the time he’s had on his hands lately he’d have come up with a better plan than that though, wouldn’t you? Thinking and remembering aren’t really Rosie’s strong points John. Neither’s spelling (as he pointed out while correcting her spelling test).

John: “There’s an ‘A’ in murder weapon.”

Rosie: “It’s pretty hard to remember stuff when you’re tied to a chair and starving hungry.” 

Rosie - Coronation Street - Jane Reynolds' weekly 'Corrie Corner' reviewJohn: “I didn’t think you models ate much.”

Rosie: “That is SO not funny.”

Rosie’s face was a picture when she was being interviewed by the Police afterwards. Drama Queen meets Brave Little Princess. Priceless!

Fiz & Hope - Coronation Street - Jane Reynolds' weekly 'Corrie Corner' reviewSomeone else whose face was a picture was little baby Hope. She really cried when she saw her daddy lying in the bed with that mask on. Poor little mite. I cried too; that beard was SO not a good look!

Did you spot the Appropriate/Inappropropriate Music? As John was about to kidnap Rosie (for the second time), Britney Spears’ Oops, I did it again was playing, and as Rosie went to answer the door to him, in the exact time it took for her to answer we heard the words #’And I’m guilty.’ Ha. Cheeky!

Sophie & Sunita - Coronation Street - Jane Reynolds' weekly 'Corrie Corner' reviewSomeone else feeling guilty is our Soph. So guilty that she proposed to Sian. She told Sunita too. (Didn’t Sunita look nice?) I wasn’t expecting that. “She’s not even a lesbian!” Soph exclaimed, confused. No, Amber’s bi … or just greedy, some might say.

(People think I’m bi, you know? Yeah. Men and women BOTH take one look at me and say “Bye!”)

The announcement didn’t go down well with her parents. To be fair, they’re sixteen and Sophie’s just kissed someone else. Not really the best of starts. Just think: if everyone married the person they were in love/going out with when they were sixteen, there’d be even more divorce than there is now! I think we all know where this one’s heading though, and it’s not looking good for Sian. Aah.

My Good drinking from a mug Award went to Sophie last week, but she gets a Bad drinking from a mug Award this week. Ooh, bad luck Soph. The good news for Sophie is that we had the worst case EVER of Bdfam by Cheryl on Monday. Absolutely unbelievable! Cancerous Chris wasn’t much better.

Chris & Russ - Coronation Street - Jane Reynolds' weekly 'Corrie Corner' reviewMind you; he’s got an excuse: he’s got cancer. Oh no, hang on; he’s got the all-clear. Ooh naughty Chris. Not that he’s told anyone though. No, that’s something you’d want to keep dead quiet if you were tricking your ex-wife into getting back together with you, isn’t it? Wait a minute though. What’s that? He’s telling a six-year-old? Has he forgotten that children aren’t good with secrets?

Right. Let’s get down to our Grins of the week:

Brian & Julie - Coronation Street - Jane Reynolds' weekly 'Corrie Corner' reviewBrian: “I’m off to the Gents.”

Julie: “Again? Are you alright?”

Brian: “No, I’m not.”

Julie: “I mean medically?”

Shiny Doctor Matt: “How’re you doing?”

Cancerous Chris: “Well, I’ve checked the deaths column and I’m not in it.”

Rosie (instructing Jase re the photos): “If he says it’s out of focus – it’s not. It’s deliberate. It’s called soft focus, though … he’s probably never heard of it.”

PS Why are Brian and Julie renting a flat above a Butcher’s shop when he’s the Headmaster of a School?

PPS This Morning‘s Alison Hammond’s got a new job then?

PPPS Syliva’s morphing into Hyacinth Bouquet! Who’s right in the eyes of the law though: her or Mary? (Don’t bother asking the Weatherfield lawyers/Police.) I thought it was a rubbish slogan. So did Norris – something Mary will never let him forget!

PPPPS Nick’s suit was a bit tight around the derriere, wasn’t it? Too much food in that Bistro of his, I guess?

*Hey. If you want a lesbian love story with a happy ending, then my novel “Just Good Friends?” is the book for you! CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE


For Rosie’s thought-provoking blog posts; ‘useful’ advice for all you wannabe models and Rosie-lovers out there; a host of other tips; hilarious videos and photos-galore of the girl herself, and Jason (in gold pants!), just check out the ‘Just Rosie’ Website.


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