Emmerdale-y – 9th December 2012

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Paddy and Marlon act like kids; Cameron’s forgotten his kids’ names; Rhona’s misplaced her kid, and Megan buys a Kindle …

“That job is perfect for me. Every time I nearly get it, something gets in the way,” Gennie complained to Nikhil. I know exactly how she feels, but once her main rival (!) Misery Ali suddenly got the call to go and tend to her sick Grandad (poor guy), the coast was clear and she finally got it.

Good for Gennie. I just hope she sticks to it though, and properly. She needs to get in there and knock that cheeky Mr S and Jai into shape. That’ll put Charity’s nose out of joint too, for sure. Bring it on!

Katie’s joints are giving her gyp (gip/jip!) at the moment, but she reckons she had it coming.

“If you do bad things to people, then bad things will happen to you,” was her reasoning.

If only that were true. Just think: if bad things DID happen to bad people, crime would be almost non-existent and all the people who’d been horrible to us would pay for it. How good would THAT be?


Still … back to reality. Rhona showed her caring side this week as she suddenly bonded with Laurel during their attempt to get their errant partners back from the spa.

I bet Marlon and Paddy were stoked (I’m being down wiv da kids there) when they saw those scripts, as it gave them a great opportunity to ham it up – which they did to comic perfection (as per usual)! They’re so close, and it’s a relief for their bro-mance to be back on track again. Bless!

It’s a challenge for Laurel and Rhona – having such a pair of overgrown schoolboys as partners though, but at least Paddy and Rhona got their relationship back on track this week. Their next job will be trying to remember where they left Leo …

Daddy, to sugar-daddy

Bernice left Charlie, and Nicola did her bit (naughty Nico!) to try and make sure that Steve left his wife. Steve doesn’t seem too keen to make the break, does he? They don’t really seem like a good match to me either.

Bernice is so needy and self-centered that she’d be better off with Declan (what a couple THEY’D make!) and Steve seems like a really ‘normal’ guy (a rarity in Soapland!).

I can’t see this one working out long-term. Hey; you know what they say about women marrying their fathers?

Debbie’s dilemma

Cameron phoned his sons (had he forgotten their names; he called them ‘mate’ the whole way through the call) before going into the police station to hand himself in. He couldn’t do it though, but (luckily!) Chas changed her plea back to ‘not guilty’ so he doesn’t have to look quite so angst-ridden now.

Chas had sacked her first solicitor (the one channelling Colin Firth), and the new solicitor (what firm are they using: Hunky Solicitors for U?) asked whether there was anyone else they could bring forward as a witness.

It was Debbie, of course, and she’s now got the moral dilemma of deciding whether to co-operate or let Chas run the risk of going down down for murder, simply to get her own back on her (but mostly on Cameron).

Ooh, that’s the last thing you want to have to think about when you’ve got Christmas coming, your daughter sick in hospital and your dad off frolicking with Mata Hari Moira, isn’t it?

Lots of laughs at the Spa, and some good one-liners for Grins of The Week:

Bob: “Ooh. Texting your boyfriend?”

Belle (indignantly): “Have you ever heard of ‘personal space’?”

Bernice: “We’re meant to be together – like you and Eric.”

Val: “Him? As if.”

Jimmy: “Chastity had a few bills.”

Charity: “Nice try, but there’s only so much shopping a girl can do when she’s banged up.”

Vic: “I’m dusting.”

Val: “No, you’re gathering dust. It’s not the same thing.”

Paddy: “Do you think Brett plays subbuteo?”

Rhona: “You just have to be nice to him – not turn him into Marlon.”

Jimmy: “I need to see her.”

Nicola: “To ask her what: how it felt to bludgeon Carl to death?”

Bernice: “Oi.”

Nicola: “Is that your version of hello?”

Paddy: “I thought you said you were going to stop treating me like a kid?”

Rhona: “I will when you stop acting like one.”


* Rhona’s pointy disease is getting worse. This week she was pointing at herself again, and with both hands!

* Why doesn’t anyone ever shut the front door when they go in and out – especially in winter!

* Zak and Lisa came in then sat straight down at the table without washing their hands.

* Who’s looking after Katie’s stables?

* What’s Deccers’ ‘M’ for? He should have had three: ‘Me, me, me’.

* Kerry doesn’t have a lot of luck with interviews, does she? I’d loved to have seen them! (When’s she going to get a job at Sharma’s, anyway? Come on. Big comedy potential there!)

* How could The Smile afford to buy Katie a Kindle? I thought she didn’t have any money. Maybe now that she’s staying though (hooray!), Declan will finally pay her?


Got a comment? Why not add one below or tweet me before Wednesday afternoon (@janereynolds8) so that I can talk about it on ‘Jane’s Soapy Corners’ live on Tellyspy at 6.00 on Wednesday nights.


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