'Emmerdale-y' – 12th February 2012

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Two big things this week (and I’m not talking about Chas’s dress), although, actually …

I’ve never seen a dress quite like that before. Talk about Nell Gwynne. Even Charity commented appreciatively, “I could have a go on you myself, love,” yet – despite Chas’s best efforts – John couldn’t.

It was that old chestnut, “It’s not you, it’s me,” and Chas was very disappointed. There’d been no doubt as to what she was after and – boy – was she frustrated not to have ‘got’ it!

John might as well have been hung for a sheep as a lamb though (as everyone thought they were ‘at it’), and should have told his kids to butt out too. Aaron was right (bless). What business is it of theirs? It’s between him and Moira, and there’s no way he should have allowed them to speak to him like that.

There’s no way Moira had the right to go laying into Chas either, and Chas gave her both barrels when she reminded her that she was the one who started the whole thing when she, “Jumped on our Cain.” I was asking last week who’d come out on top in a fight. We almost got to find out this week!

And speaking of fights: Val asked Amy, “What happened to your eye then?”

Maybe it’s just my small, old TV, but I couldn’t see any difference (under all that black eye makeup), and thought Belle’s shocked, “God. What’s happened?” was from seeing the colour of her hair!

Never mind that though. As the week went on I became increasingly worried that Val was plotting some sort of departure, and so it was proved when I saw her on This Morning on Friday talking about her new play! I get nervous when the good comic characters leave, and I’ll really miss Val’s wicked sense of humour and fantastic performances.

I do wish she hadn’t gone like that though: blaming it all on Eric. Nobody could have been more supportive of Amy, or more patient with Val’s “Me, me, me,” behaviour over the whole baby storyline. He certainly didn’t deserve the barrage of abuse he got off her this week. I’d much prefer Val to have had a call to say that Paul had broken a fingernail and for her to have just gone off to help him recover!

Will Eric get closer to Diane now though, and in a few months time be just about to kiss her when the door will fly open and we’ll hear “Hello pet. Have ‘ya missed us then?”

What’s going to happen to the B&B too? Eric surely can’t manage on his own, and he’s got that big house to pay for too. Maybe he’ll get a Manager and she’ll be the one he gets close to? Oh, come back quick Val!

In other news: I loved Monday’s Episode (by Owen Lloyd Fox). It fair rattled along and had some great one-liners. Poor Paddy’s being cast-aside by everyone in favour of Rhona at the moment (aah). The stuff about the badge was funny – especially when Paddy thought Sam had made it. “Sarah,” Rhona hinted warningly, but – luckily – it was all too deep for Sam anyway, so it didn’t matter! “Badge envy,” she explained to Marlon!

I’m not comfortable about Katie moving in with Declan. That whole scene when he came in to find her and Gennie together felt really wrong: like they were a pair of naughty children being caught smoking by their dad or something. That’s not how a relationship should be. They’re SO not right together. How about him and Chas? Charity’s nabbed his best mate Jai; they’d make a great foursome, and Chas’d give old Deccers a right run for his money!

Moira nearly got a Bad Drinking from a Mug Award this week as she (sideways on), put the mug to her lips but didn’t take a drink, but (as it cut to a front view), redeemed herself perfectly with a nice big swallow, and who’s envious of Carl and Jimmy’s asbestos hands?

They fair grabbed hold of those (empty) mugs of hot tea like they were … empty. I’m sure there’s good/technical reasons for using empty mugs, but at least remember to look as if you’ve got a hot drink by a) holding it by the handle and b) not waving it around, guys!

It does make me laugh, and what else has made me laugh this week? Not as many as normal, but let’s have our Grins of the Week:

Nicola: “I don’t let Jimmy anywhere near my private things.”

Chas: “Yeah, we’d all heard that. Still managed a baby though, didn’t you?”

Rodney: “How are things?”

Jimmy: “Great! Apart from the cyclist and the crippling debt, everything’s peachy.”

Diane: “Amy and Eric were just supporting roles in ‘Val: The Musical’ then?”

Val: “Shut your clack.”

Vic (about the B&B): “I don’t mind running it.”

Val: “What – and turn it into a nightclub? No thanks.”

PS Ooh, Rachel letting her hair down. I hardly recognised her. Poor soul; fancy Marlon rejecting her like that. You keep working on him girl!

PS Marlon: don’t keep stopping for a chat when you’ve got plates of customers’ food in your hands!

PS “Just a sandwich please Bob,” Katie said. What sort?

PS Diane was either telling Moira to go home (again), or she was off sick this week. Does she get paid when she’s not there? She’ll be well down in her pay packet this week if she doesn’t.

PS Why do Soaps always have photos that look like they’re a) posed, b) been taken by a professional photographer, and c) look like they were only taken last week? (The one of Gennie that Katie put up was the exception. It had to be ‘homely’ that Deccers could tease her about it.)

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