'Emmerdale-y' – 5th February 2012

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I can see how John’s attracted to Chas. There’s that deliciously wicked sense of humour and sparkle in her eyes for starters, but does he see her as just a bit of a change or a funnier version of Moira – who’s never found much to laugh about – except his girly T-shirts (oh, no, that’s just me).

There’s a definite resemblance though, and if you’d ‘had a few’ or forgotten your glasses you could easily be forgiven for mistaking them … until they opened their mouths.

Moira’s got that soft Scottish lilt (which I used to think was Irish – oops!), whereas Chas’s voice is as Northern as you can get (I could listen to it all day), and she can turn the most innocuous line into a comedy moment, simply by her inflection and/or the look that goes with it. ‘It’s the way she tells them,’ so it is!

It was great when it all started kicking-off behind the bar. Pearl was on the phone. “Can I call you back?” she whispered urgently, so as not to miss a moment. They’re both feisty lasses, and it’d be even money as to who’d come out the victor in a fight!

One of the real downsides of knowing everything weeks (or sometimes months), in advance like we do these days is typified with this John/Chas thing though. We all know he’s leaving, and we probably all know how, so we know it isn’t going to actually go anywhere with Chas as he’s not going to be around long enough to enjoy it.

I’m old enough to remember a time when you didn’t used to know what was coming next and really were on pins with excitement. Ah, happy days. That’s one of the reasons I enjoy the comedy element in Soaps so much; you never know what certain characters are going to say next!

It was such a funny scene when Brenda came in asking for change.

Chas: “Aah. Nothing in your tip jar?”

Brenda: “Well … it’s been a slow day. It’s easier for you; most of your tippers are drunk.”

Chas (looking her up and down): “Yeah. That’s probably the reason (!)”

Chas should be setting her cap at Cameron. He’ll be on the market once he finds out how that baby was conceived (if he hangs around?). I reckon they’d make a great couple, and it’d certainly put the cat among the pigeons with Debs/Cain and Charity!

Andy’s trying to spend as much time as he can with Debbie (on the flimsiest of pretexts), and Cameron marked his card for him:

Andy: “We’ve got things to discuss.”

Cameron: “No. Your work here is done.”

That told him … except that it didn’t make a blind bit of difference to Andy, and Cameron’s definitely not a happy bunny.

I hope he doesn’t leave. I wasn’t that fussed on him at first, but he’s really grown on me and plays his part so convincingly (especially the kissing scenes!) that I’d be sorry to see him go. There’s not many men who’d have put up with what he has.

How many women would put up with a lazy oik like Zak either? Poor Lisa. She never stops and he never starts. Get out of the pub and go and earn some money for your family, man. You could start by going to the Carl King Bank; he’s got a lot of money. Ah, not any more actually … he’s given it all to Rodney.

With Politician Chris Huhne facing possible life inprisonment (yeah, as if!), for doing the same thing, Nicola wants to think very carefully about going to the Police about it. Here; that shirt and tie Rodders had on in Court was a bit of a crime, wasn’t it (his collar was too tight), and doesn’t he have a look of a certain American in Corrie?

If Val’s not careful, she’ll be looking for a new husband. She’s pushing Eric too far and is behaving more like a teenager than Amy at the moment. I’m getting a teensy bit bored with Amy complaining that Val doesn’t talk to her and Val complaining that Amy doesn’t talk to her.

“If we were a proper family we’d talk about things together – the three of us,” Amy carped before storming out (again). Er, is this the same Amy who didn’t mention the baby she was carrying and has lied and kept Val and Eric in the dark about everything she’s ever done since the day she came to the village? Ah, yes: same Amy.

For God’s sake, just sit in a room together for longer than 20 seconds and you’ll soon have it sorted. That’ll be £40 please. God, they’re stressing me out. Quick, let’s have our Grins of the Week:

Chas: “Trouble at’mill?”

Holly: “What mill?”

Nicola (to Pearl): “Shouldn’t you be looking after gerbils or something?”

Pearl: “Cauliflower and pumpkin chutney? You wouldn’t want much of that if you were expecting company!”

Nikhil: “I think I might get my own place.”

Jai: “Don’t be daft. Who’s going to clean the kitchen?”

Pearl: “I’d hate to be mown down in my prime.”

Nicola: “I think you’ve missed that.”

Debbie (to Cain): “I’m glad some of you still moves – even if it is just your gob.”

PS Where did Debbie’s hand go when she said to Cameron, “This is all that matters”? I’m sure she put it on her belly, but it didn’t LOOK like it!

PPS Was that Samson’s identical (but much older!) twin on set this week? He’s grown about  a foot and looks to have aged about two years since I last saw him. (Growth spurt, aye? Bless!)

PPPS Holly and John: slapping a box of raw burgers/sausages down on the bar isn’t very hygienic, is it? Take it straight round to the kitchen next time.

PPPPS Ashley in a leotard? How about a mankini? That would show Nicola he wasn’t boring!

PPPPPS Red wine … with Scampi? Ooh, a nice Sauvignon Blanc Rodders, surely?

"Just Good Friends?" the debut novel by Jane ReynoldsPPPPPPS I just noticed it’s Paddy Kirk and Rhona Goskirk. What’s the chances of that, aye? Destined to be together!

Fancy a love story about two other people destined to be together? Treat yourself, or how about a novel Valentine’s Day gift? It’s the chick-lit/lesbian romance “Just Good Friends?” and is a mere click away on Amazon/Kindle. SIMPLY CLICK HERE!

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