'Emmerdale-y' – 18th March 2012

(You can hear me talking Soaps 11.30-12.00 am every Thurs & from 4.05-5.00 pm Fri on Swindon 105.5 FM) 

Ooh, where do I start? The biggest shock of the week (no, not Eric and Brenda drinking a ‘good red’ with chocolate gateau), was finding out that Declan was on his uppers. Where’s all his money gone? He’s certainly not spending it on wages; he only appears to actually employ Nicola and Sam!

As Declan’s default setting is ‘miserable’, it’s no wonder none of us saw it coming, but – luckily – Megan’s cheerful enough for the both of them and I’m confident she’ll soon sort it out, and might even get him cracking a smile!

There haven’t been a lot of smiles this week, have there? The Sandy storyline’s had me in tears (partly as my father’s cancer seems to have suddenly stepped-up a gear and he’s also finding it harder to cope), and it’s been a surprise to see the Saintly Vicar’s halo slipping.

Both Ashley and Laurel have been so frosty towards Rachel it’s made me feel quite uncomfortable. In their defence though, they have tried to to offer Sandy help and support, but as having to admit that you can no longer look after yourself is probably the most painful moment of a person’s life, Sandy is – understandably – having trouble coming to terms with it.

As the week’s gone by, it’s been heartbreaking to see an old man being made to feel unwelcome in his own home, and it’s also been sad to see poor Rachel castigated – not only by Ashley and Laurel, but by Sandy too at times, when all she’s trying to do is help him.

It was shameful of Ashley to blame Sandy for Arthur choking too. I’d have thought that Arthur would have been way past the ‘putting things in mouth’ stage by now, but as many children’s toys are made of tiny parts (I should know: I’ve had to pick enough of them off floors and out of hoovers during my Housekeeping years), it’s just as likely that Arthur could have decided to snack on a piece of his Lego than a bit of Sandy’s model ship!

It’s powerful acting from everyone, but when Ashley implied that Sandy was acting (“You played a blinder,”), he wasn’t joking, and that was the moment when things took a much more sinister turn.

Is he going to get worse than this? We’ve seen a whole other side to Ashley over the last year, and it’s not a very nice one. Although it’s compelling, it’s probably going to get worse, so I’m bracing myself for next week and have got the tissues out ready …

From one unhappy household to another: the Bartons. Oh, what a week they’ve had. I never realised John was quite such a big chap though. There was so much ash came out of that urn; if the wind had got up they’d have been in all sorts of trouble!

It was a bit unfair of them to blame Alex for Holly’s overdose. How was he to know she’d got a stash? It seemed a bit of a strange place to take heroin though: crouched behind a car in the middle of the street, and is that what just one hit does to your eyes? It looked as if she’d been taking makeup lessons from Amy.

“Did you do this on purpose?” Moira asked her afterwards. Er, no. She just decided to stop for a little sit down and there it was …

There’s been one bit of light relief this week, and that’s Jimmy’s impending vasectomy. Impending, because he should know by now that Nicola always gets her own way, and that she’s got the ultimate weapon: “Until your body’s had a vasectomy, it’s coming nowhere near MINE,” she told him sweetly. Game, set and match to Nico. New balls please.

Oops, just a little snip there, to add to Rodney and Carl’s list. “Tragedy. When the feeling’s gone and you can’t go on,” Carl squealed in his best Bee Gee voice. What with his girly tops, dying his hair and now this; is there a side to Carl we don’t know about too? (Just kidding: he’s all man!)

Paddy’s plan to propose to Rhona gave us a few grins, and he and Marlon’s ‘double act’ in the pub was a little bit funny; a little bit silly, a little bit ‘Aah’ (in the scenes with little Leo), and Rhona will, of course, always have the beautiful memory of the moment he proposed … in the ladies toilet.

“Will you marry me? I don’t really want to rush you, but I’ve just put my knee in something wet,” he announced – in true Paddy style. Ah, the romance! Will they make it up the aisle though? Let’s hope so, although now we’ve seen Ashley’s sinister side, do you think he might go berserk when he sees Marlon stood in front of him as best man?

We had a very bad case of Bad Acting by a Bit-Part Actor this week by Holly’s nurse in the Hospital (go and have a look on Catch-up and you’ll see what I mean), and there’s not many Grins of the Week again, but we can hardly be surprised after a week like that, can we?

How about a nice photo of Nikhil looking all handsome instead?

Jimmy: “I won’t be bullied into anything.”

Carl: “You don’t really believe that, do you?”

Megan: “I thought you were a happily married woman?”

Nicola: “I would be if my husband would do as he’s told.”

Rachel: “On your own?”

Alan: “Very astute.”

Rachel: “What?”

Nicola: “Orange juice. If you can bear to tear yourself away.” (from Cameron)

Chas: “Yes, cos I live to serve you, don’t I Nicola?”

PS How does the B&B ever get any repeat business? None of them seem to be familiar with the term, Customer Service. Eric was taking a couple to their room when David and Amy walked in. What did he do? Tell them to hold on a minute while he dealt with his PAYING guests? Nope. He made the couple to go up on their own and told them he’d bring their bags up in a minute. Eric: other way round, love … customers first, ok?

PS Notice how the pans in Soap kitchens are always spotless? Moira was making stew/soup, but there wasn’t a single dribble down the side!

PPS Why didn’t Cain just dial 999?

PPPS Sandy said, “When you reach my age, staying in becomes increasingly attractive.” That’s a very true statement.

PPPPS I’ve been having Charity withdrawl, but we got a glimpse of her on Friday. Here she is, lovely as ever.

Aah. Paddy and Rhona are getting married. Isn’t it nice to see a bit of romance? If you fancy a fast-paced romantic novel with a twist worthy of anything you’ll get in Soapland, try my chick-lit/lesbian romance “Just Good Friends?” 

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One Response to 'Emmerdale-y' – 18th March 2012

  1. jazlork March 21, 2012 at 9:43 pm #

    likeable stuff Quotes & Status

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