Emmerdale-y – 25th November 2012

ou can hear me talking Soaps 10.45-11.15 am on Thursdays, 4.00-5.00 pm Fridays (Swindon 1055.com CLICK HERE TO LISTEN), and on my LIVE internet Soap Show 6.00-6.30 pm every Wednesday on Tellyspy. CLICK HERE TO LISTEN.)

Katie’s fallen down a hole. Will she – and her marriage – survive? Will Paddy survive the arrival of Brett the Vet, and who else has arrived this week?

If I was married to Declan I’d have thrown myself down that mineshaft, to be honest.

He might look like an adult, but his behaviour swings from that of spoiled child to moody teenager. What woman wouldn’t have been exasperated if her partner had come in and told her to hurry up and get ready because they were about to go out to dinner with clients or woken up the next morning to find that he’d cancelled all the clients in her own business, just because HE wanted to take a day off?

They’ve only just got back from honeymoon (not that you’d know it to look at their miserable faces), but he then went and asked her if she wanted to go on holiday again too!

That would leave only half-baked Sam and (oft part-timer) Nicola running the ’empire’ – again. I’ll bet every employer wishes they could run a business on so few staff. I’ve commented before that they ought to – at the very least – have a Housekeeper. SO many potential new storylines there …

What exactly IS Deccer’s business, anyway? I’m not really sure, even now.

Katie’s ‘shafted’

Still, he’s in a bit of a hole at the moment – well, Katie is, but I’m sure that all their current disagreements will soon be forgotten when they finally pull her out – unless that bump on the head brings her to her senses and she legs it back to Gennie’s?

Declan might be rich and good looking but he’s not a nice person. Get a few quid as a settlement for emotional cruelty and get the hell out, love.

Those emergency workers took their time to arrive, didn’t they? It was morning when Katie and Declan raced off on those quad bikes, and pitch black when help finally arrived (even though Moira said they were ‘nearly there’ while it was still daylight), and Bernice was a late arrival to assist with her daughter’s problems too.

Bernice rushes to Gobby’s rescue … finally

“After your ‘upheavals’, what mother wouldn’t have jumped on the first train up here?” she exclaimed in indignation.

“That was months ago. you must have come the scenic route,” Ashley observed dryly.

It transpired that she’d come up with a rather different agenda than concern for her daughter, and wasted no time in upsetting Laurel and Ashley – not to mention her parents.

I’m glad to see her back. I always liked Bernice, and her affair with a married man is no doubt about to bring more trouble to Diane’s door. Poor Diane. As if she hasn’t had enough on her plate lately with Chas, and I’m guessing Bernice’s beau will be rolling up before long too?

Rhona points the finger

Another new character rolled in (well, flew in like a Superhero, more like) this week. Yes, it’s Brett the Vet. Appropriate name for a vet, that. Is being young, slim and boyish-ly good looking part of the job description too? It certainly seems to be a prerequisite for Paddy’s locums, doesn’t it?

Not that Rhona’s complaining. When she’s not nagging or pointing the finger at Paddy (again), she’s mostly drooling over other men.

What’s she like, aye? Rhona’s becoming a lot more … bossy’s the best word I can think of. No. Actually, Rhona the Ranter’s better. Yes; Brett the Vet and Rhona the Ranter. Oh well, it tickled me, anyway!

Peevish Paddy’s (ok, I’ll stop now!) been hilarious this week. He’s hardly tried to hide his insecurity, has he, but when Brett heard him making fun of him (oops, foot-in-mouth time there!), he decided that enough was enough and that he’d leave. I’m assuming Rhona will talk him round and that he’ll be casting his eye around the village maidens before too long?

Slim pickings for Brett the Vet

There’s not a lot for him to choose from right now though, are there? The only single women are Edna, Diane and Kerry really (Amy’s going to get with Alex and Moira’s going to get with Cain again soon, I’m presuming), so unless he starts on one of the married ones he’s going to be a little bit stuck.

He’d better keep his hands off Kerry. She’s spoken for (well, in my little world anyway, as you know!), and I’m just waiting for her and Dan to ‘find’ each other, although I’m getting worried that Misery Ali might be about to pounce.

She seems to have been giving him rather a lot of ‘sideways’ looks lately. Is she about to ‘do a Marcus’ and go straight again? I do hope not. Kerry and Dan: now that’s a Soap match made in heaven.

Charity by name, but not by nature

A partnership made in hell is that of Jimmy and Charity up at Emmerdale Haulage. It was Hobson’s Choice for Jimmy really, and he ended up 50/50 with Charity after accepting that he’d be a lot worse off without her.

Jimmy’s going to have his work cut out with that one, and the first thing he has to do is to clamp down on her being so rude to Edna. Workplace bullying’s a horrible thing, and it’s not nice to see Charity treating poor Edna like that. Come on Jimmy: sort it out!

It’s a bit of a light one on the old Grins of The Week:

Rhona (about Brett): “He’s proving to be quite a hit.”

Paddy: “Yeah, so was Betamax.”

Nihkil (to Kerry): “We’ve got our quota of gobby troublemakers, thank you.”


* Bernice told Ashley he resembled the ‘Wild Man of Borneo’. I agree. Get rid of it Ashley!

* Not sure this response would have rated very highly in an Informative Explanation of the Year competition:

Emergency worker: “What happened?”

Declan: “She’s underground.”

* What’s that down the hole with Katie: her mobile? Lucky how it got stuck on the ‘torch’ App (and wedged neatly into the wall like that)!

* Anyone else think Gennie putting the video camera into the washing machine was NO accident?!

* Jai’s going to Venezuela for ‘a few weeks’. What’s he doing: hitchhiking there?

* Does Misery Ali really think she stands a chance of getting a manager’s job at the factory? Leaving aside the fact that she can barely read, she’s also got the personnel skills of a rabid dog and all the charm of a plate of tripe and onions!


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