Emmerdale-y – 11th November 2012

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Katie’s landed herself a big, cold fish; Paddy went out on the water then broke the ice with Marlon, and is Megan sunk?

I’ve always thought that Declan was a cold fish, and it hasn’t taken long for his ‘personality’ to rub off on Katie has it – or are these just her ‘true colours’ coming out now that she’s finally bagged a man with money?

They’re a real pair of charmers … not, and not two minutes after getting back from their honeymoon (they didn’t leave the room much, judging by their lack of tans!) he was cancelling clients and having a go at Nicola.

“It’s like working with children,” he shouted.

Er, no. HE’S the one behaving like a toddler throwing the toys out of his pram whenever he can’t get his own way or is challenged, and HE’S the one who stitched Megan up over her fee, so why is he getting all arsey with her just because she’s simply wanting to be paid?

‘Daddy’s’ girl

It was nice to see the truth come out over Katie’s trick on Robbie, but she looked at Declan like a little girl wanting ‘daddy’s’ approval.

“I’ve done nothing wrong, have I Declan?” she simpered, and Deccers obviously had to back her up.

Megan and Robbie were forced to leave, but not before The Smile told him that he was married to a “Scheming, two-faced whore.”

She’s right. I’ve barely recognised Katie’s character over the last few months, and even when she was forced to come clean to Declan about her lie she was completely unrepentant.

“The only thing I’m sorry for is that you found out,” she admitted. Wow. That’s brazen, and then she told him she’d do anything to keep him.

“And – as usual – you get your own way,” Declan replied, but I’d say that the shine’s gone off that marriage already, and might it already be the beginning of the end for them?

Gennie’s got a baby and Katie’s acting like a child

I hope so. I’ve said before that I don’t buy in to this relationship. Katie’s way too young for him, and she’s certainly proved it this week by behaving like a spoiled, stroppy teenager. Look at how she ripped in to Gennie.

Poor Gennie. As if she hasn’t got enough to cope with at the moment. She’s a mother now, and you could really see the contrast between hers and Katie’s lives when ‘Lady Penelope’ breezed in and Gennie was there folding and ironing baby clothes (bless!).

“You knew and you didn’t tell me?” Katie ranted at her hapless friend over her involvement in Chas and Cameron’s affair.

“It wasn’t for me to tell,” Gennie tried to explain.

That’s the thing about secrets

Gennie’s right. It was a secret, Katie, and the whole point of a secret is that you don’t tell anyone …

Gennie did the best thing she could at the time by persuading Cameron and Chas to end their affair, and yet she’s the one being blamed and vilified for both keeping the secret and for telling the secret. The poor woman can’t win.

Cain found out too. “She knew? When did she find out?” he asked Debbie.

“Oh, ages ago,” she replied.

“And where is she now: A&E, I hope?” he growled. Why say that? It wasn’t her fault!

Cain’s such a hypocrite sometimes, but I do like seeing him with baby Jack, and I do hope that Moira ignores Diane’s advice and drags him back into the nearest haystack within the week. Come on Moira; make an honest man of him – literally. Nurture ‘Good Cain’ for us, and let’s see the pair of you in a proper relationship soon please. It’ll be the making of him.

Canoe’s a silly boy, then?

After a rollercoaster week, we’ve finally got Paddy and Marlon back in a proper relationship too. After being suspended from practising (I’m not surprised: going to Court with his shirt hanging out like that), Paddy found himself at a loose end and decided to get the canoe out.

“What are you going to do with it?” Marlon asked him.

“I was thinking of nailing wings to it and flying it to Mars … What do you think?” Paddy shot back sarcastically.

The way Rhona’s been patronising him (“Get yourself out to play, and don’t come back until teatime”), I’m surprised Paddy didn’t just head straight for Niagara Falls, but he settled on somewhere a little closer to home.

I’d like to have seen him getting into the canoe and then into the water. That would have been a laugh and a half, but getting stuck in the pond gave Marlon a big laugh!

“Did you tell her your boat got swallowed by a massive pike?” he teased Paddy (after having waded in to rescue him), and it was like Love Story, waiting for them to finally ‘kiss and make up’. The insults they were trading were truly shocking (!).



Bro-mance of the year

They both struggled (in that awkward way men do) because they’re way too butch to say what they REALLY want to say, but we were all happy to see them finally put the months of dispute behind them.

It was a week of superb acting from both men; with hilarious slapstick comedy to heartwrenching drama which had the tears rolling down my face.

It’s so nice to see such a genuine love between two men. In another universe I’d be hoping for them to be gay, but it wouldn’t work for Paddy and Marlon – not unless Laurel or Rhona decided to leave either them or the show.

Rhona could become so bossy and overbearing that Paddy felt completely emasculated, and when he finally snapped and told her it was over (OR if Laurel left Emmerdale – or left Marlon to go back to Ashley), they’d both realise that the person they loved more than anyone else in the world was the other, and they’d get together and raise Leo as a couple …

Looking great on a budget

Right, back to reality – of sorts. It was a surprise to hear that The Smile’s penniless and has had her flat repossessed. Where’s she been getting her money from then? I’m confused about how much Declan’s meant to owe her.

He’d put the 250k profit from the Festival into Katie’s account, but Megan seemed to be asking him for 100k. Is that what he’d promised her? Did she not get a contract of employment in some shape or form? She’s surely entitled to the money she’d earned working for him all those months?

She and Robbie look to have taken off (but only for a while, hopefully), but where on earth would they go (with no money and petrol the price it is these days), and where would they be intending to stay? Hotels don’t come cheap, you know.

How does Megan manage to always look so beautifully turned out and wear such fashionable clothes if she’s had no money all this time too? I know I haven’t got a lot of money, but even I can’t live on fresh air, and my clothes are so old that even Shadrack Dingle wouldn’t have had them given house room!

I smiled when Dan said he’d always wondered why Misery Ali had loved ‘Prisoner Cell Block H’ so much, and here’s our Grins of The Week:

Cain: “I’m not going to drop him on his head, am I?”

Debbie: “Good, because I’d hate for him to turn out like you.”

Kerry (about Alex): “If I was ten years younger I’d ‘have a go’ myself.”

Amy: “Knock yourself out.”

Bob (to Alex and Vic): “I see you two are taking it slow, then?”

Vic: “Excuse me. Not everyone’s programmed to behave like dogs.”

Kerry: “Ooh, yous going to the pub?”

Amy: “No, you’re not coming.”

Katie: “Do you think I tell Declan how to live his life now?”

The Smile: “So much, you might as well have your hand up his backside.”

Adam (about Cain): “I wouldn’t let that headcase look after a rubber chicken, let alone a baby.”


* When I saw this scene I thought it was a ‘down-and-out’ walking past the Post Office, but then realised it was Alex. Any chance you could grow your hair a bit, mate?

* I hadn’t expected Thomas and Anya to leave quite so quickly!

* Ashley’s beard’s taking over his face now and is very ageing. He’s looking more like Methuselah by the day! It was so nice to see him clean-shaven in those Emmerdale at 40 clips this week.

* Where did all those hundreds of customers suddenly appear from at the Vets’? They’ve barely had a sick hamster in all year and yet the place was rammed this week!

* There is no way Declan’s empire could run with only one member of staff in the office (and Nicola’s barely put a full day in since she started there).

* Notice how everyone grabs hold of their hot mugs of coffee round the middle?

* Val’s done a sudden disappearing trick, hasn’t she? Organising Sharon’s wedding? Funny how nobody mentioned it.

* Notice how Rhona was waving her takeaway coffee cup around as if it was a pompom?


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