Jane Reynolds's Weekly Blog – 9th December 2012

The Sunrise Over Swindon on the left was taken as I left home at about 7.15 on Saturday morning. I waited for about five minutes for that cloud to move, but it didn’t, or it would have been a big kiss in the sky!

The one on the right was taken from my office window this morning (Sunday). A nice, dull, overcast AND FROST-FREE morning.

When I had to urgently replace my car in the Autumn, the most important item on the list was to get another car with a heated windscreen and wing mirrors like I had in my Ford, but because I couldn’t find a good one at the right price I was encouraged to look at other things.

I knew I’d regret it, and now – when I’m leaving home in the dark and the cold and my car looks like it’s covered in icing sugar – I bitterly regret not sticking to my guns. Why ALL cars don’t come with heated windscreens as standard (the extra cost would be negligible to the manufacturer if every car was fitted with one), I’ll never know. Needless to say: the next car I buy will have a heated windscreen …

If you follow me on Twitter you might have seen that I’ve been having a ‘challenging’ week. My father’s terminal cancer has suddenly moved up several gears. He hasn’t moved out of his chair for seven days now, and I’ve been having to look after him; try to make sure he takes his pills, feed him (not that he’s been able to eat a lot) and keep up with the rest of the daily household stuff.

It would be tricky for anyone, but my problem is that I already work at least a twelve hour day – seven days a week, and ‘lost’ Wednesday this week too (by having to put the Christmas decorations up), and that’s without even thinking about all the food shopping/cooking etc I’m going to have to do over Christmas. I haven’t bought a single Christmas present or even written a card yet – which is unheard of for me.

I got more and more stressed as the week went on (and felt close to breaking point on Friday), but while lying in bed crying on Friday night, a weird feeling of ‘calm’ suddenly came over me which made me feel as if I would be able to cope after all.

I’ve been a lot better since. I need to try to ‘look’ positive for my father’s sake, but seeing him going downhill is horrible (as everyone who’s ever been through it will know), and my heart breaks to see my self-sufficient, busy father reduced to sitting in a chair, barely able to even get upstairs to bed at night.

The next few months are going to be extremely tough, and I’ve been referring to Dale Carnegie’s wonderful ‘How To Stop Worrying and Start Living’, which instructs you to simply take each day as it comes and don’t even try to think beyond that.

I just wish that somebody could have given me a proper PAID job Soap-writing by now though, as my father told me on Friday night that I ‘Need to rethink my plans, as they’re clearly not working out’ (never one to mince his words, my dad!).

When I left work six years ago to try to become a writer, I never for one moment envisaged that I’d be Soap writing. I just thought I’d write novels, plays and comedy sketches. I’ve only actually written one book though, because the blog/Soap stuff’s come along and taken over my life. Trouble is; I wonder if it’s simply been a folly to have indulged in my passion for Soap reviewing?

All I wanted was for my father to see me be successful at something (in HIS eyes) before he died. Looks like I’m not going to get my wish. That’s a tough thing for me to cope with as I see him fade away before my eyes.

Oh, well. Better get on. Need to get this posted and get home to him. Have a good week, everyone.

Tellyspy

PS ‘Jane’s Soapy Corners’ have gone digital. Simply download the Podcasts App onto your iPhone or iPad then search for Tellyspy and they’re all there.

‘Jane’s Soapy Corners’ are LIVE from 6.00-6.30 pm every Wednesday night on Tellyspy.

There’s also my regular Thursday radio shows (10.45-11.15 am) and Friday (4.00-5.00 pm) on Swindon 1055.com, where I give my Harry-Hill-ish observations and opinions on all the best (and more importantly, the worst) bits of what’s going on in Emmerdale, Coronation Street and EastEnders.

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