Queen Vic Corner – 21st August 2011

It’s been a tough week (for us viewers), with all those broken hearts – and broken china!  Vanessa’s still managed to look like she’s stepped out of the pages of a magazine though, but I do wish she’d wear more clothes.  She makes me feel cold just looking at her.

She was the latest to upend all the carefully-staged props as she trashed the place.  Do people actually do that in real life?  What’s the point: you’ll only have to clear it up afterwards. Mind you, she’ll be ok, she just needs to get Tanya in to do it for her.

I spend a part of my week house-cleaning (and was a Houskeeper for many years), but I’ve got to say: the way Tanya cleaned that wall was nothing short of miraculous.  If she can tell me what she used I’ll go and buy it by the bucketful as it would make my work a whole lot easier!

Being serious though; I’m sorry, but there is NO WAY she could have got that paint off a wallpapered wall and for it to look  perfect afterwards.  I hate it when Soaps do stuff like this.  Ok, I know they’re not real, but you cannot scrub ‘Welcome Home Janine’ in thick black paint off a wall and not leave a trace. Come on, let’s have a bit of reality, please.

That aside, I’ve been SO impressed by some of the acting this week. You know my views on Tanya: she could sit reading the paper for half an hour and I’d still think it was wonderful, but seeing her balance ‘putting a brave face on’ to barely being able to contain her fear has been a masterclass, and I cannot wait to watch Jo Joyner take us through the roller-coaster of emotions she’ll be experiencing in the weeks to come.

It’s not just the actors though, the writers have to give them good lines, and there’s been some excellent writing this week. The scenes between Lauren/Whitney (and Jodie in the cafe), have had me filling up. Lauren’s been exceptional. Even when she isn’t speaking, her whole facial expressions and manner/prescence have been very impressive to watch.

I’d have gone on that holiday on my own if I’d been Whitney though, wouldn’t you?  Where do they actually get all the money from to book holidays in the first place though, let-alone not bother going on them? I’d give my eye teeth for a week in the sun!

Jean’s been fantastic this week (except when she was stood there with those two plates of customers’ food!).  I’d have been shouting “Oy,” if someone had just been stood around chatting with my dinner in their hands.  They do this a lot in Soaps (either that, or they just plonk the plate down in front of some poor old ‘extra’ without so much as a friendly “Enjoy,” or even a look sometimes)!

I’ve not had the best of weeks, and listening to Jean (and Dot’s “There are things that I wish I’d done that I’ll never do now,”) really didn’t help!  What with that and Tanya, it was almost enough to turn me to drink.  The most poignant bits were: “I’m so fed up of being on my own. Life has got no surprises any more.  Why is it never my day?” and “It’s not as if I like many men.  Stands to reason that when I do find one I like, he doesn’t like me.”

Mo didn’t help. “Not just him though, is it?  Eddie didn’t like you either,” she replied cattily, and Pat wasn’t very nice to her either; quite insulting actually. Jean’s a lot smarter than most of them give her credit for.  Luckily she’s got Kat on her side, and she gave Mo a taste of her own medicine.

Kat: “It’s a good job you go for younger blokes then innit, seeing as all the fellers your age are DEAD!”

Luckily there were a few laughs to brighten up the misery.  Zainab’s (through gritted teeth): “I am a fun-filled person,” was one.  ‘Course you are love.  That’s it, have another pill.

How do people in Soaps all actually swallow pills without water, by the way? Pills taste disgusting. I’d be ‘gipping’ for sure.  I’m loving Rainie’s Bible-bashing (although she fell off the wagon with that bottle of vodka and tin of paint, didn’t she!)

Cora (complaining about Rainie): “And her – going on about how Jesus loved everyone.”

Rainie: “He did.”

Cora: “That’s cos he hadn’t met Tanya.”  Love it!

PS Michael to Vanessa: “Break his (Eddie’s) heart and I’ll see you right.”  How much is ‘right’?  I’d love to know.

PPS Carol’s so pretty when she brushes her hair and puts a bit of lippie on.  A bit like me – apart from the pretty bit.

PPPS Never heard of Tessie O’Shea?  Here’s a short clip of the woman herself.  TWO-TON TESSIE!

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