Queen Vic Corner – 16th September 2012

(You can hear me talking Soaps 11.30-12.00 am every Thursday, from 4.00-5.00 pm Fridays on Swindon 105.5 FM CLICK HERE TO LISTEN, and on my NEW internet Soap Show 6.00-6.30 every Wednesday on TellyspyCLICK HERE TO LISTEN)

Kat’s driving me mad; Alfie’s driven her off and Michael’s driven Janine away – well, that and a screaming baby!

So. We waited all week for Kat’s lover to finally be revealed and it’s … 

No. We don’t know. We know it’s not Michael, but after watching the whole of Friday’s episode waiting for it to come out just before the final ‘dum dums’, all we got was to see her and Alfie setting off in his old banger to go and ‘sort fings aaht’.

Feel frustrated? Cheated? Angry? Yeah, me too.

Flogging a dead horse, or what?

This ridiculous affair’s dragged on for months. They’ve flogged it to death to such an extent that we’d all more or less lost interest, but at least we thought we were to going to get to know this week, but now they’ve gone off and I’ve since learned that they’ve apparently gone until November. Kat’s only been back five minutes since her last break, for goodness sake …

How can a supposed Landlord of a pub just up-sticks like that? It’s that word again: credibility. I think they’ve really shot themselves in the foot on this one, and everybody I know seems to feel the same.

Losing the plot. What plot?

I truly despair of EastEnders right now. It won ‘Best Soap’ at the TV Choice Awards this week. How? In my opinion this has truly been its worst year yet – with unconvincing, poorly thought-out storylines and half the cast seemingly away on holiday.

Who’s the father of Lexi’s baby? Nobody even ASKS. Where did Syed get his 13 grand’s worth of cleaning stuff from – and why? Why doesn’t Alice go to work any more? Just a few of the questions that I ponder over (there’s lots more) when I sit gazing at the screen night after night.

Don’t get me wrong: I LOVE AJ, I LOVE Tanya and Max, I LOVE Kim (especially when she calls Janine Janice), and there’s some very good acting in the show, but who’s thinking of the viewers here?

They’ve lost that magic feeling

I can only speak for myself, but I’m SO cross about all this Kat stuff and am just amazed that Alfie agreed to go off with her. When’s he going to ‘grow a pair’ and kick her out for good? She’s making a mug of him.

I used to LOVE the pair of them together (you can read the glowing tributes in many of my old QVC posts), but even in those big emotional scenes this week I simply didn’t feel any chemistry between them and I say again: PLEASE split this pair up for good; they’re just not credible as a couple any more.

Put Alfie with Roxy and put Kat with Derek (because that’s who I’m praying her mystery man will be!).

We know it’s one of the Branning brothers now, and we had to endure yet-another week of lingering looks; scene after scene of them all sat together exchanging ‘meaningful’ banter and dropping little clues/red herrings in all over the place.

Don’t talk to your dad like that, missy

Ok. Enough of that, let’s move on to Lucy. How can Ian let her talk to him/treat him like that? He looked scared to death when she told him to “Get back out” to the stall. How DARE she? I’m genuinely getting worried about her too. She’s looking more and more skeletal each week and I just hope that she’s ok …

The only saving grace this week has been Michael and Janine. I don’t know what the hell’s meant to be going on in Michael’s head, but the pair of them have been totally spellbinding.

Michael’s gone totally fruit-loop, and Janine deserves some recognition (and an Award, perhaps?) for the marvellous portrayal of her increasing desperation as the burden of motherhood and doubt over her husband have finally led to the breakdown she’s clearly suffering from.

We know that her walking out and leaving Michael holding the baby (literally) is so that SHE can also go off for a long break, and I – for one – will miss her very much. She really is a tremendous actress.

Alfie gets yet-another Bad Drinking from a Mug Award to add to his collection, and once-again there’s not a single Grin of the Week. What does THAT say about it? Coronation Street and Emmerdale’s comedy is as an important a part of its content as its drama. EastEnders doesn’t even have any humour these days.

Best Soap? Hmmm …


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