Soap-y Corner – 17th July 2011

Emmerdale

 

* 18th July. Just found out I’ve got 3rd place in the ‘Soap Blogger of the Year 2011’ awards.  I’ve only been blogging 6 months, so am very chuffed!

I bet Jacob’s hoping his mum goes away on holiday more often, if it gets him a day off school to play computer games and £50 top-up for his mobile.  (Why does a boy that age need a mobile?  What?  They’ve all got them?  Oh, ok.)

Jimmy - Emmerdale - Jane Reynolds' Weekly 'Soap-y Corner' reviewWhy didn’t Gennie just stay upstairs, and (now, how do I put this delicately?), surely if something had happened, wouldn’t you … know?  Jimmy was his blundering self. ‘It looks worse than it is.  I don’t even know how it happened,’ he tried to explain to Nicola.

Nicola: ‘Well, maybe you just tripped and fell on her with your flies open.’

What a brilliant quote from Laurel as she went round to try and sort things out. (To Jim): ‘You can tell me to mind my own business, but if I was going to do that I wouldn’t be here in the first place.’  I’ve written it down.  I’m sure it’ll come in handy one day!

What’s this though; Leyla’s throwing Jacob a party?  Ok.  Hey, she could have it up at Pollard’s Barn. (That name’s got a nice ring to it, hasn’t it?)  What is wrong with Amy?  Will she never learn?  I know she’s having second thoughts about the party, but why even suggest having one in their lovely new home?  It’ll end in tears.  Teenagers, aye?

Belle stood up to Amy and Vic well, didn’t she?  She needs to give Samson a few lessons.  “I’m always last.  Nobody wants me on their team,” he confessed this week.  (Boy, do I know that feeling!)

Sharma's Office - Emmerdale - Jane Reynolds' Weekly 'Soap-y Corner' reviewCharity has a habit of arriving in the middle of a situation, snatching victory from the jaws of defeat and coming up smelling of roses, but she almost came unstuck on the Contract renewal.  Talk about blatant; she virtually offered herself to the guy on a plate!

It backfired badly, and Jai read her the riot act.  Nik’s developing a real dislike for Charity and was keen to view the dressing-down.  “Oh dad, go on.  Please let me stay up and watch,” he wheedled wickedly.

Charity’s got such great potential though.  She really could make a difference to their business but she just spoils herself by getting involved in one dodgy scam after another.  Come on Charity, put your past behind you and do it  ‘right’ for once.

Hang on.  What’s that? Leyla’s redecorated Jacob’s room?

Vic & Alex - Emmerdale - Jane Reynolds' Weekly 'Soap-y Corner' reviewIt’s been a bit of a week for Victoria.  She was moping because she’d split up with Alex (“I’ve had stuff in my fridge longer than they’ve known each other,” Chas pointed out), but stupidly got back together with him, and we saw him with his lips stuck to the side of her cheek (try her mouth next time son), on the bench in the middle of the Village (mind out for runaway vehicles, kids). Ah; who hasn’t got memories of snogging on a park bench?  (Even me!)

What’s that you say?  Leyla’s booked a stretched limo to take Jacob out for a pizza, with a giant chocolate cake (no nuts), for afters?  And they wonder why kids are the way they are these days.  Ooh, don’t get me started …

Leyla must be made of money.  She could have lent some to Aaron.  Seventy Thousand Pounds for a Barrister?  (Boy; did I choose the wrong career path!) Am I missing something here?  Why does he even need a Barrister?  As I (and a lot of people on Twitter), keep asking: why don’t they just play the ‘confessional/suicide’ video?  All the evidence to exonerate Arron and Hazel is right there.  Jackson had been so careful to make sure he covered every angle.

It’s so frustrating to watch: seeing everybody just ignoring the one piece of evidence that would end this whole case.  Arron DID NOT murder Jackon.  He assisted his suicide; different thing completely. I’m more worried about my hearing though.  I could have sworn I heard Jerry say ‘bitch.’

Leyla % Jacob - Emmerdale - Jane Reynolds' Weekly 'Soap-y Corner' reviewCrikey.  Is that an iPad Leyla’s bought him now, and a puppy?

I don’t want Hairy David to marry her, I’ve definitely decided; she’s way too bossy.  If she runs out of money (God knows where she gets it from as she never has any customers), she can just go and work in the factory.

No ‘minimum wage’ there.  They must be Yorkshire’s best employers.  Holly Barton’s only been there a week (and was sacked in the middle of it), yet she’s already buying a car.  Do you think they might need a cleaner?  I’ve got my marigolds on standby, and I’m very honest!

There were quite a few sticky moments in the toffee office this week.  I loved the scene with Holly, Laurel, Gennie and Nik.  The way Gennie looked at him (as he struggled to explain to Holly why he’d sacked her).  Exactly the way a wife would look at her hapless husband.  Get them together – and KEEP them together, please!

My favourite line of the week was:

Jimmy (to Nicola, outside her cottage): “Ive been looking for you.”

Nic: “Congratulations.  You do know this is where I live?”

PS Didn’t Eric look smart in his beige V-neck jumper?

CLICK HERE TO GO TO EMMERDALE HOMEPAGE

EastEnders

Just realised why Fatboy’s called Fatboy.  His surname’s Chubb.  The penny’s dropped!  He’s been sweet – trying to be a good husband.  Goodness knows why; they were hardly a match made in heaven.  Mercy?  Misery, more like.  I’ve rarely seen a less cheerful individual.

Mercy - EastEnders - Jane Reynolds' Weekly 'Soap-y Corner' reviewHe’s a happy little bunny and she always looked as if she’d been watching Watership Down on a continuous loop for six months.  Not only did his lurve for her seem to come out of nowhere, it seemed to vanish just as quickly as he flirted with that little minx Lola at the Car Lot.

Dot’s going to ‘adopt’ him.  That’s hardly going to cheer him up … although she made me laugh with the line “Try to use words they’ll recognise,” when she was trying to coach him on his interview technique.

‘Good acting of the week by a bit-part actor’ award goes to the guy who was posing as Billy’s son.  I’d definitely like to see him again.  I’m loving Billy and Julie’s wayward Grand-daughter.  Now, what was her name again?  Oh, yes.  #Her name was Lola, she was a bad girl.  With peroxide in her hair, she’ll drive Billy to despair.#

Lola - EastEnders - Jane Reynolds' Weekly 'Soap-y Corner' reviewTalking of driving: I’m sorry, but considering that every time someone even gets into a car in Albert Square normally there’s at least one death, having Lola driving around like that without mowing-down half the residents was a bit far-fetched!

‘Beale’s Plaice’ got battered, and Ian was on the warpath (as well as on the chips, judging by that belly!).  “These two.  They’re in collusion,” he ranted at Fats and Lola.

“Nah, we were in a collision.  Get your wordage right.  He’s a weirdo,” Lola whipped back. She’s like Coronation Street’s Kylie: cheeky.  Love it!   

If I were Billy, I’d get a DNA test done though, because I suspect she could well be Tony Blair’s daughter.  I’ve never seen such teflon-coated hands. She grabbed hold of Billy’s mug of boiling hot tea as if it was empty …

Christian & Zainab - EastEnders - Jane Reynolds' 'Soap-y Corner' blogI was struggling with Christian’s ‘commitment’ to the adoption.  The Social Worker’s on her way for a make-or-break meeting, so he gets drunk and ends up in the pub with Roxy.  No wonder Zainab’s got her doubts.  Great row, but I can really see both sides here.  Zee’s being such a hypocrite, but Christian and Syed have only been together five minutes, and it’s hardly been a bed of roses so far, has it?

Zainab’s such a pretty woman, and her face lights up when she smiles.  Pity she never has anything to smile about.  Those pills don’t seem to be helping either – judging by the way she was nagging everyone this week!

If I were Syed I’d be more concerned about Christian’s dress sense.  I’m sorry, but in my eyes, there isn’t a man alive who looks good in one of those T-Shirts with the sleeves cut off.  I’ve never seen a more horrid item of clothing.  We all know Christian’s got big muscles, but – wow – he lifted that red suitcase up as if, well, as if it might even have been … empty!

Just as well Eddie didn’t give Zainab that stuffed bird; might have tipped her right over the edge.  Poor old Jean.  You know she’ll treasure it, don’t you?  Here.  Eddie’s slotted straight in at the Vic hasn’t he? Thank God he could do the accent …

Kim - EastEnders - Jane Reynolds' 'Soap-y Corner' blogKim. Even a minute of her in an Episode is a joy.  I love how she sort-of bounces with energy.  It’s like watching Tigger!  Pity we didn’t get a scene with her and ‘Janice’ together this week.  What’s Janine come as, by the way?  She looked like something from the Swinging Sixties as she sashayed down the street.*

She’s having a party on Monday.  Who’s invited?  “Families, friends … enemies,” she glared at Pat pointedly.  “Well, the last lot’ll be queuing round the block,” Pat quipped back.  

If I came into a fortune, the last place you’d see me if I were Janine would be the place where I was universally hated.  The only way she could even get people to go to her party was by offering a free bar.  I know she just wants to rub their noses in it, but you think she’d at least have gone and had a holiday first!

Tanya & Max - EastEnders - Jane Reynolds' Weekly 'Soap-y Corner' reviewCrikey Tanya.  They’re going to be having to put EE on after the watershed if those snogging scenes with Max get any more raunchy.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen two actors look more like they’re enjoying their jobs!  She was naughty to have missed Rainie’s meeting though.  Poor Rainie.  It’s enough to turn her to … oh, let’s hope not, aye?  

My favourite line this week was:

Tanya (about poor, unsuspecting Greg): “Ignore him Syed.  He’s stuck in the 80’s.

CLICK HERE TO GO TO EASTENDERS HOMEPAGE 

* That gives me a chance to tell you my favourite-ever joke.  It’s something I heard Barry Cryer say many years ago.  “I live in the past … it’s cheaper that way.”

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