Corrie Corner – 3rd June 2012

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Leanne thaws towards Nick; Curse-ty tries to warm the factory girls up, but Carla soon reminds them what an ice-maiden she can be. 

From starting the week giving him baby evils, Leanne had certainly warmed to Nick by Friday, and the two of them shared a quiet drink at the Bistro. That’s a rarity: ‘quiet’. There’s usually either table-dancing (not that sort!), plate-throwing or a slanging match going on.

A lot of people on Twitter seem to be against Leanne, but I want her to get custody of Simon. A boy needs a loving mother, and (as I’ve said before), that’s not Carla. She admits herself that she’s not the mothering type, so just let Leanne give the little lad the love and stability he needs, aye? You don’t need to give birth to a child to be a good mother.

‘Be yourself’ Peter. Are you sure about that?

Leanne’s right in that Peter only bothers about Simon when it’s convenient, and he’s so unreliable and unpredictable that surely no right-minded person would give him custody? As he was going for his meeting with the Cafcass officer Carla told him, “Just be yourself, yeah?” Good idea. Be yourself Peter, then she’ll see what you’re really like.

From the way Peter’s been behaving lately, I wouldn’t trust him to take a punter’s bet without getting into a fight, let-alone try to pretend to be Super-dad, and this same man was shouting – yes, shouting – at Carla about having offered money to Leanne as soon as the woman left, but what was worse was that she was LETTING him, and even apologised.

What’s he done to you, love? This isn’t our Carla. Would she ever have let a man speak to her like that? I think not, and I don’t like it, but once she got out of there she was back to her waspish best at the factory and was putting her stiletto down and reminding them just who was boss.

“Did you see the way she spoke to me? That’s jealousy that is. Plain and simple,” Beth asserted to Sean afterwards.

“Why on earth would Carla be jealous of you?” he gasped.

“You’re a gay man: you wouldn’t understand,” she replied knowingly. Peach of a line!

It’s ‘Curse-ty’ Scargill now …

Carla sacked Eileen, but it should be Curse-ty getting her marching orders. Who does she think she is? She’s only been there five minutes, yet she’s steaming-in telling Carla what she can and can’t do.

Ok, Carla was wrong to sack Eileen, but that Curse-ty’s right ‘up herself’ and should show a bit of respect. Just because she can treat Tyrone like dirt, doesn’t mean other people will put up with it. I’m getting really worried now though because she’s really trying to ‘warm’ the factory girls up, and after this week’s events seems to have been accepted into the fold.

I won’t settle till she’s banged up for bullying Tyrone. Let’s see how pally her police chums are then, aye?

She was all, “Oh, I wonder if it’s anyone I worked with,” and “Oh, are you out of Green Lane?” to the coppers who pulled Tyrone up. Grrr. She brings on one of my hot flushes even just thinking about her.

And as for that car business …

It’s no wonder car mechanics have a bad name, when there’s Tyrone (the owner of a garage), saying things like, “Shall I take it down the bypass and give it a bit of welly?” and, “These things go like a rocket: I’ll show you on the bypass.”

That was – as far as Tyrone knew – a customer’s car, and he should never be using it for his personal business, let-alone to go hot-rodding it around Weatherfield.

Which hospital was it, anyway? They’re obviously very good there, as Tyrone managed to set off; get stopped by the police; drive there; park (or wait in the car while Curse-ty went in to have the blood test), then drive home again: all within ten minutes. That’s pretty impressive, because have you ever known a hospital where you haven’t had to wait an age for your appointment? No, nor me!

Get drugs off our Street(s)

Much as I love Tina, I can’t be doing with this drugs storyline. I hate bullying, and although it’s well-acted I just don’t like watching it. I didn’t like seeing this either:

I’m really concerned about the standard of English teaching in schools, and seeing such a simple words as Flowers spelled incorrectly on Faye’s sign wasn’t funny to me. A girl that age ought to be able to spell ‘flowers’ correctly. Ooh, that’s only a little niggle though, because I love my Corrie, and always will.

Although storylines about hanging baskets are hardly ‘up there’ with trams landing on the Street, there are great opportunities for humour, and we’ve been seeing rather a lot of Norris lately.

He’s an odious little character, but is very funny, and – like many of us – just gets frustrated by a lot of what goes on in modern life, and was appalled by the vandalism to his plants – as he told Audrey.

“Ooh, not your lovely pansies?” she sympathised.

“And mine,” Sally piped-up.

“Well, less tragic, that,” he sniffed.

Sunita managed to stop Karl chucking his winnings away in the Casino and has now got hold of his cash for safekeeping, but their web of deceit is growing, and it was so wrong of her to blatantly lie to Sophie like that, wasn’t it? It’ll end in tears, so it will.

Ooh, it was almost funny when Roy held the two Belgian buns out on the plate when they were talking about Dolly Parton, but he just made it slightly too obvious by holding them there for slightly too long, and talking of ‘obvious’, Fireman Paul gets a Bad Drinking from a Mug Award for forgetting to take both a swig and a swallow! Ok, here’s our Grins of the Week:

Kylie: “I just wondered if we could have a look round your house?”

Eileen: “Is that a polite form of burglary?”

Norris: “Lesley’s being cremated. Ironic really … with him being a Fireman.”

Gail (about Norris): “I’m not having him calling me a … what are you calling me?”

Kylie: “It’s a house.”

David: “And what’s outside it?”

Kylie” We are.”

Sean: “It’s like this massive pressure weighing down on my chest.”

Beth: “I get that – but I’ve always put it down to being overly-endowed up top, like.”

Steve: “What are you doing here?”

Eileen: “I’ve been sacked.”

Steve: “What? From the factory?”

Eileen: “No, as Foreign Secretary.”

Carla: “Been anywhere nice Eileen?”

Eileen: “The toilet.”

PS Notice how scared Tyrone looked when Curse-ty said, “We’ve got savings, haven’t we?” Ooh, he’s a dead man when she finds out he lent them to Tommy.

PS2 “Do you know what scares me? Lying in a hospital bed with tubes coming out of me and looking back at my life and thinking, ‘What if?'” Sean confided to Eileen. (I think that every single week as I sit down to write my Soapy Corners and wonder whether I’m wasting a third of my week on something that doesn’t even pay me!) 

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