(You can hear me talking Soaps 11.30-12.00 am every Thursday, from 4.00-5.00 pm Fridays on Swindon 105.5 FM CLICK HERE TO LISTEN and on my internet Soap Show 6.00-6.30 every Wednesday on Tellyspy CLICK HERE TO LISTEN).
Lloyd puts his foot in it, Kirk’s got foot-in-mouth disease and Gloria’s just got a big mouth!
As per usual with Lloyd though, it wasn’t long before he put his foot in it with Mandy, and after finding out he had a daughter he immediately managed to mess that up too!
You’ve got to admire the guy though. He’s had more failed relationships than Ken’s had affairs, so hopefully by getting the big, guilty secret out of the way right at the beginning this time, things might finally come good for him at last?
Keep hold of those boxes, Tee …
It’s come good for Tina now that Owen’s offered her and ‘Jake the Peg’ somewhere to live, but I reckon Tina was crazy to have turned Rita’s offer down.
I’ll bet she’s got a damn sight more than fifteen grand stashed away, and for Tina to be ‘renting’ her womb out to Owen is just asking for trouble. I can only see heartbreak ahead (and maybe another broken leg) with this arrangement, and for her and Tommy’s problems to be a long way from from being over – especially as they’ve now moved into Owen’s flat. Talk about a ‘captive audience’.
Isn’t it funny how whenever someone’s about to be made homeless in a Soap a new flat suddenly becomes available, and funny too, how easily people move from place to place – with only a couple of cardboard boxes and a few bags. Why do they never seal them up either? Every box you ever see in Soapland is always open at the top. Imagine doing that in ‘real life’? It’d be a right mess!
I’d keep hold of those boxes if I were you though Tina, because if you’re not pregnant within a week you and Tommy’ll be out on the street sleeping in them.
The (un) happy couple
Someone else who might be looking for somewhere to live in the near future is Karl (as long as it’s not back to Stella, please). The novelty’s quickly worn off this relationship. Sunita’s looking about as happy as she did when she was with Dev, and Karl looks as if he’s just lost his last twenty quid on a donkey.
“Does it not bother you: me working with Dev?” she fished.
“It’s a cross I’ll have to bear,” he shrugged with indifference.
That was NOT what she wanted to hear. “You’re such a martyr, aren’t you Karl?” she shot back; hurt.
“Almost Saint-like,” he replied loftily.
Match made in Heaven or ‘The odd couple’?
The look on those two’s faces tell you exactly where they’re heading, but as one relationship ends another begins, and a new romance blossomed this week: that of Beth and Kirky.
Bless. Kirk’s dangerously short of brain cells, but is a real catch in the boyfriend stakes. Loyal; adoring, dependable … just like a dog, and if dogs could talk I’m sure they’d come out with the same sort of lines as Kirk. Beth was another one fishing for compliments – after their close encounter in the van.
“I don’t know how you controlled yourself,” she asked (placing the ball in front of the open goal) .
“It was easy,” he replied (booting it over the bar).
That ‘foot in mouth’ style of courtship nearly got him kicked straight into touch, but once he explained that he wouldn’t have dreamed of taking advantage of her because she was ‘a lady’, Beth melted, and the Street’s latest couple were born. I cannot WAIT until we get some scenes with the two of them and Craig. It’ll be a hoot!
A bit of Appropriate/Inappropriate Music in the Background as Blondie’s ‘Heart of Glass’ played when Fiz was telling Beth not to mess with Kirk’s delicate feelings, and Beth’s brilliant comedy capers make up most of my Grins of the Week:
Beth (describing her date): “He reminds me of that footballer … ooh, what’s his name?”
Stella: “We’re busy.”
Gloria: “Do you want a hand?”
Stel: “No, I just thought I’d keep you in the loop (!)”
Izzy: “Is that stubble?’
Beth: “Oh, no. That’s just a mark on my phone where I had sticky ribs last night.”
Dennis: “No I don’t.”
Gloria: “Stop it Dennis. He’s outrageous!”
Rita: “You want to get your eyes tested, lady.”
Dennis (whispering): “I’ve got summat in my eye.”
Rita: “She’ll have summat in her eye in a minute.”
Beth (about skinny Michelle): “She’s only jealous because she’s got to watch her waistline and I don’t.”
* Gloria’s knack of upsetting the locals claimed its latest two victims as she announced to Norris and Mary, “I knew as soon as you and your daughter walked in … ” Oops!
* Tommy’s worn that same pair of sweat pants for about three weeks now. ‘Sweat’ probably sums it up, and the fumes will be giving Tina more than morning sickness if he doesn’t give ’em a wash soon!
Got a comment? Why not either add one on here or tweet me before Wednesday afternoon so that I can talk about it on my new ‘Jane’s Soapy Corner’ show on Tellyspy at 6.00 on Wednesday night? I’d really love some comments or questions to be able to discuss live online this week. Thanks!