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It’s Halloween: hairy things, scary things, sticks and stones, sticks and carrots, creepy crisp packets and caterwauling.
Apart from my Blackpool special last month (scroll down to read), this is the first Corrie Corner for rather a long while (due to my father’s death earlier this year, sadly), but it’s back, and back at a time when Coronation Street is on absolute cracking form.
I barely know where to start as I sit down to write this post – there’s so much I want to say – but let’s start with the Platts/Tilsleys/McIntyres/Prices (blimey, that’s a lot of surnames for one family!) shall we?
Mother Teresa would be hard pushed not to want to punch Gail in the mouth at the moment, let alone someone as unstable as Nick’s been since the accident. That’s assuming he could actually find her mouth, of course.
Gail’s hair seems to be creeping right across her face lately, and Nick’s isn’t far behind. His appears to have slipped straight off his head and landed on his chin, which gives him a remarkable resemblance to one of our favourite furry animals:
Leanne’s back to take him in hand though, and should start by giving him a jolly good shave. I think we’d all feel a lot better not having to look at those whiskers every day, wouldn’t we?
Get on that broken broomstick and ‘do one’ please Grace
Some Soap storylines are beyond tedious, and the ‘nasty teenage friend’ is one of them. Owen’s got the measure of Faye’s BFF – as has Sally:
“It’s funny your name’s Grace, because you haven’t got any,” she pointed out in her own ‘special way’ after the party, where the evil little witch had stepped up her campaign of general maliciousness and – in particular – bullying of poor Simon.
As someone who was bullied every single day as a child, maybe this is why I find these storylines so unpleasant, but even though she seems to be fooling most people so far, Owen’s clearly got the measure of her and I just wish he’d ban her from going within a hundred miles of Fay-te worse than death (who’s ‘no better than she should be’ either, is she?).
It’s about time that little madam realised how lucky she is and started treating the lovely Anna with the respect she deserves. Grrr! (Don’t they look the spit of each other here?)
‘Weatherfield’s top young businessman gets challenging new role’
Someone else with rose-tinted-glasses in the respect stakes is Dev, who’s given Ches a job managing the kebab shop. This is the same Chesney that barely ever botherered going to his market pitch; usually knocked-off early; lost his stock because he trusted someone else to lock it up for him at night and would still be sat in front of the telly if Sinead hadn’t forced him to go out and look for work, is it?
Yeah, ‘nice one Dev’, and how did young Chesney mark his first day on the job? By giving away free kebabs, of course.
Alan Sugar he ain’t, and speaking of lost causes: “Ooh, ey ‘up. It’s Weatherfield’s top entrepeneurs”, Peter scoffed to Carla as Rob and Tracy opened up their emporium for another day’s trading (blows with customers, mostly!).
Corrie’s cats’ claws are out
Tracy Barlow is a joy to watch. Her comic timing is flawless (as is that of ALL Corrie’s actors), and we’ve been treated to a bumper week of cat fights, bitching, and some of the best comedy writing you’ll find anywhere.
The scenes between her, Tina and both Liz and Deirdre this week have been nothing short of magnificent, and I just LOVE Rob’s continued bemused tolerance of a partner who’s clearly completely off her trolley!
Maybe he’s worried about getting bumped over the head like Charlie Stubbs did, but long may their relationship continue, and long may Liz reign behind the bar too. I’m so glad she’s back. She plays such a good part, and her face when David moved that crisp packet along the bar was an absolute picture!
Oh, look. It’s the ‘Spliced Girls’!
You can always rely on (the writer) Jonathan Harvey to give us a riot of innuendoes, campness galore and hilarious lines for the Corrie women to let rip on, and after a tot – or ten – Deirdre, Eileen and Liz’s drunken antics on Friday provided us with some simply perfect comic TV.
“We are Fifty … odd, feisty and fabulous. We do not need a man in our lives.” Liz proclaimed to the world in drunken exuberance. Er, ‘Cue new man for Liz’ please.
A line like that can mean only one thing (the same thing it does when any Soap character makes a big announcement, of course), as it only takes someone to declare that they’re happy for tragedy to strike so I don’t think we’ll need a crystal ball to predict that Liz’s next ‘Mr Right’ will be walking through that door any day now!
Won’t be long before Carla ‘twigs’
I loved Carla’s sexy “Mmmm” and lusty look when Peter said, “It’s all stick, stick, stick with you. What’s wrong with a bit of carrot?”
She’ll be after him with a stick before long though. We’re already seeing the first little shoots of the up-coming affair between him and Tina, aren’t we? Ooh, I’m looking forward to that one.
For all you #Carchelle fans out there; I’ll be bringing you a new ‘Carchelle Corner’ very soon, and we’ll be able to dissect all the events of the last few months involving our two favourite friends in minute detail!
Aah, so much comedy this week. Far too many brilliant one-liners to list them all, but here’s our first Grins of the Week since January:
Deirdre: “Why don’t I make us a nice tea? I could do my stuffed marrow.”
Tracy: “Mum. I feel bad enough already.”
Gloria (about Liz): “It’s like scrag end dressed as lamb.”
Stella: “Must be like looking in a mirror then, aye?”
Rita: “I pity Amy.”
Tracy: “Oh, well, I’ll be sure to let her know.”
Gail: “Aren’t we all part of the same family?”
Gloria: “Same family, different branch.”
Beth: “Open ‘Early Doors’. Think of all the trade you’ll get.”
Chesney: “I’m not sure kebabs are that popular for breakfast.”
Beth: “That’s what they said about cereal.”
Amy: “My mum will kill me.”
Tim: “No she won’t.”
Sally: “You don’t know her mother.”
Liz: “Is Steve about?”
Eileen: “Yeah. In the corner, hiding under an invisibility cloak.”
PS
* Tommy’s gone to the Canary Islands. Well, it’s nearly Spain (where everyone in who leaves Soapland in a hurry tends to head to – unless they’re leaving feet first), and it’s ironic that Tommy’s gone to the Canaries, as it was his singing that led to his ultimate demise!
* Canaries are yellow, and from yellow to orange, yes, it’s Tina and David. Those two should get together; they could buy their tanning lotion in bulk and save themselves a fortune.
* Eileen told Lloyd she’d turned into ‘A sad old bag who’s highlighting the programmes in the TV Guide’. Er, doesn’t everyone do that? Oh dear … just me and Eileen then?
* Tina chose rice to go with the chilli David had cooked. She’d have opted for the ‘gone off’ potatoes if she’d had any sense, as David picked the (open) bag right off the shelf in front of him, tipped half of it into a pan but didn’t add any water. Mmmm, crunchy!
* Lloyd was telling Jenna that he was with Liz for a while and that he and Steve had a fight over it (while she was hiding behind the settee). That was one of my favourite-ever Corrie scenes, and a lot of people seemed to agree with me on Twitter that night! (I’ve tried to find it on YouTube but can’t. It was 5th January 2009 if anyone’s got a copy of it they’d like to send me?)
* Nick was struggling to do his tiny little physio exercises on Monday. He still did better than I could do, and I haven’t just been in a car crash and a coma!
* I’d said that baby had David’s nose right from the second I first saw her. I should have put a bet on it!
* I couldn’t resist putting this pair of photos up again. Ooh, I love my ‘lookalikes’!
And now folks, it’s Competition Time!
I’ve got a brand new, sealed box set of Meerkat story books (RRP £35.94) to give away* FREE (courtesy of Comparethemarket.com). All you have to do is simply retweet any of my links to this week’s ‘Corrie Corner’ by Saturday 9th November and I’ll pick one lucky winner (in a completely fair and unbiased way!) and announce it in next week’s blog.
I’ve also got a meerkat toy to give away (given to me at the Corrie Press Day at Blackpool in October), but I’m keeping that one under wraps until the first week of December. Keep reading to be in with a chance of winning this lovely prize – just in time for Christmas!
Here’s some great/sweet meerkat trailers to take a look at too. Just click on the link to view:
CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE CORONATION STREET HOMEPAGE
* UK only, I’m afraid. They’re rather heavy!
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