*You can hear me talking Soaps 11.30-12.00 am Thursdays & 4.10-4.25 pm Fridays on Swindon 105.5 FM CLICK HERE TO LISTEN
Here’s the link to hear Betty on Desert Island Discs. You’ll be surprised and proud.
Oh Sian, don’t go on holiday … oops, too late. How many people get a phonecall from their Mum inviting them to go to France for a fortnight – leaving the next day? If I’d have been Sian I’d have jumped straight out of that cab the second I saw Amber slipping her arm through Sophie’s though.
Oh dear. You knew exactly what Amber was plotting by the look on her face, didn’t you? I just wanted to shout out ‘Behind you,’ like they do in a Pantomime, but she’s not even behind you Soph, she’s got hold of your arm. Aargh!*
Sophie had tried to get the money to go with her – even asking Sally – and had tried to convince her mum that it would be Educational, but Sally wasn’t having any of it. “Educational? Sitting on your backside eating croissants all day?” she scoffed. Well, when you put it like that …
Sophie’s ‘Rat eyes’ (the look every teenager gives their parents when they can’t get their own way), were classic!
I’ll bet Eileen would have given her the money (especially if she knew their romance was at stake). Eileen’s got a very different attitude to Sally on most things, and we’re all rooting for her to have a bit of romance of her own. It looks as if she might have found it with Fireman Paul, but – as usual – there’s always some sort of secret, and he’s clearly got one.
The moment I saw him kiss the back of Eileen’s neck I thought I’d worked out what it was: he’s a vampire. Most men go for a peck on the cheek, but he went straight for her throat. It wasn’t that though (that would have been an interesting storyline!), and it wasn’t the fact that his brother had turned up in floods of tears either. Feeble excuse or what!
Either way, we just want Eileen to find a nice man and I hope it’s him, and that he doesn’t go on to tragically die in a Warehouse Fire the night before they’re about to get engaged/married/move in together!
Someone who’s got her man (possibly?) is Tracy, although she wasn’t happy with him when he texted ‘Stella awol soz cu asap‘.
What’s that supposed to mean?” Deirdre asked, confused. “It means Steve’s pathetic,” she retorted angrily. Er, what do you want him to do? Leave the pub with no staff just so he can come to tea with you? Get a grip girl. The guy’s up to his neck in divorce papers as it is; he needs every penny he can get.
Anyway. He’d been invited to tea for Ken’s 150th Birthday … what? Oh, 72nd, and Deirdre was thrilled by the presents she’d made him. Yes, pottery. Two lovely peanut bowls.
Deirdre: “Did you see what I did? With it being your 72nd Birthday, I did one in the shape of a seven and one–”
Ken (cutting-in): “In the shape of a two. Yeah, I get that. Very clever.”
Deirdre: “Well, it’s just my little skill.”
She was excited to explain it to Tracy too. “I did a number seven and then–”
Tracy (also cutting-in): “You did a number two. How apt …” (Nice line!)
Steve did finally appear and stayed the night, but didn’t get much of a welcome from Deirdre the next morning. (Ooh, would you want to ‘sleep’ with someone in a tiny little house like that, knowing you had your In-Laws in the next room?). No, nor me (although chance would be a fine thing)!
“Tracy might not care what shows up in her bed, but I’m the one who does the washing,” she pronounced. She was actually talking about sauce stains, but Steve wasn’t to know that!
Tracy spread her luurve to the Prices in the Rovers when they got back from their holiday. (How long till the next one please?) She’d put herself ‘In Charge’ and was straight-in with the put-downs.
Stella: “Hiya Tracy. Everything alright?”
Tracy: “Never better Bella.”
Tracy: “Oh yeah.”
Deirdre: “Where did you go?”
Stella: “Santa Cruz.”
Deirdre: “Oh, I love Italy.”
Stella: “Hence my Spanish accent.” Er, try getting your Northern one right first love.
Cancerous Chris is spreading his poison again (telling tales on Lloyd and Cheryl about taking Russ out of school), although I’m with him on this one as Russ has just had the whole Summer Holiday off, and children barely go to school these days anyway. Not like in my day … ooh, don’t get me started!
Someone else stirring it was Frank – and his mother Anne, who between them were doing their damnest to bring Carla down, but our Carla’s made of strong stuff and we know she’ll pull through somehow, although having half your machines and your material taken away (as well as losing another client), doesn’t help matters, does it? Where’s John Stape when you need him aye?
Peter’s gone to Cornwall too, so she only had Maria and Stella to offer her support. (So, Stella was raped too? Is there anything that hasn’t happened to her?) There was an interesting look on Anne’s face when Frank made her swear she didn’t believe Carla though, wasn’t there? Hmm …
It was a bit foolhardy of Carla to go to Frank’s house as it was obvious he’d twist everything and then call the Police, but wasn’t it maddening to hear him say “I AM the victim,” and another shock to hear Carla scream “You bastard,” in response. It was SO appropriate. There’s so much gratuitous and unnecessary swearing on TV, but in this case, nothing less would have felt credible, and a lot more would have been understandable!
If it’s any consolation for Carla, she does win a Good drinking from a mug Award this week (there was a proper gulp and everything)! Right. Let’s get down to our Grins of the week:
Kirk: “Where’s Hayley?”
Sally: “She’s got the flu.”
Eva: “Shut your mouth Tracy. Flies are circling.”
Sean: “Softly-softly, catch-y monkey.”
Eileen: “I don’t want to catch a monkey – I want to catch a man.”
Sylvia: “Morecambe and Wise? Two grown men in bed together? And in those days I was a lot less broad-minded than I am now.”
Rita: “I met Tyrone’s girlfriend today.”
Tina: “Oh, that mad cow?”
Roy: “Did you steal Mary’s caption?”
Sylvia: “Steal. It’s such an ugly word.”
PS Marcus called Sean ‘Sugar hips.” Great name!
PPS Gail homing-in on Fireman Paul in the Bistro when he was waiting for Eileen. She looked like another hungry vampire as she eyed him up and down!
PPPPS No Rosie, this week, and barely a scene with Kylie. (I SO can’t wait for those two to do some scenes together!) Kylie’s Cuticles. That name makes my skin crawl though. Sounds like an infection!
PPPPPS Why did Cheryl have to leave half an hour early? Couldn’t she buy Russ’s trainers when she wasn’t at work? ‘Compensation for the Holiday being cancelled’. Er, there’s another one buying kids presents for no reason. Wouldn’t he have just had new trainers a couple of weeks ago when he started school? Most kids do. *justsaying*
PPPPPPS Eileen had ‘The worst birthday on record’. Hah, I can top that. I came down with proper flu on Friday (the eve of my 40th), and spent that whole weekend in bed in my room in London, completely alone and feeling like death. Aah, another happy memory from my wonderful life (!)
*Hey. If you want a lesbian love story with a happy ending, then my novel “Just Good Friends?” is the book for you! CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE
For ‘useful’ advice for all you wannabe models out there; a host of other tips (and photos-galore of the girl herself), check out the ‘Just Rosie’ Website now, and there’s her pre-audition for I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here this week. How does she cope with what’s hidden under those bowls? Find out here:
O-M-A-G. Not only did poor Betty die yesterday, but as I looked at Twitter this morning (Sunday), what did I see, but that Rosie’s leaving. Talk about a double-whammy. I know we haven’t seen a lot of Rosie these last few months, but at least we knew she was coming back.
I’m gutted she’s leaving. Comedy is one of the most important parts of Corrie, and Rosie’s a walking sketch show all by herself. As far as I’m concerned she’s irreplaceable, and I just hope she goes on to do more comedy as she’s an absolute natural.