'Emmerdale-y' – 2nd October 2011

Amy - Emmerdale-y - Jane Reynolds' weekly Emmerdale reviewWe saw Amy smile this week. A proper, genuine smile. The first real smile since she arrived. It was a lovely moment, and all down to Belle’s determination to be a proper friend to her, aah! Neither set of ‘parents’ are too happy about it though.

Zac: “I don’t want you thinking we see you as some, er …”

Amy: “Piece of scum?”

Zac: “Well, yeah.” (Doesn’t say a lot for you when even the Dingles don’t think you’re good enough for them, does it!)

Bob & Hazel - Emmerdale-y - Jane Reynolds' weekly Emmerdale reviewIf you’re worried about bad influences, just do what Bob’s done. He’s moved (one bootload), into Hazel’s, but forgotten to take his kids. “Out of sight” and all that … Problem solved!

Well, it’s the sort of thing that can easily just slip your mind, I guess? It’s probably because his sap’s up and he’s Hope-ing that moving in with Hazel will bring them closer together. All that lot, squashed-up in a house that size? They’ll certainly be close!

It’s just as well she’s getting some help with the rent, as she doesn’t seem to have any actual income. Do you think she’d have room for me too (so that I can move out of my dad’s)? They’ve got a great connection though, and yet-again I say, please don’t let her leave. Put them together as a proper couple – running the cafe.  There’s such great comedy potential there.

I still can’t quite work out what’s going on at the Barton’s. Is that meat processing place for meat? Do they actually have cows there then? I can’t ever remember seeing any. Anyway. it’s still not nice of Declan to be treating them like that. I don’t like this nasty side, but he clearly feels he’s got just cause.

John - Emmerdale-y - Jane Reynolds' weekly Emmerdale reviewWhen he poached Andy he said “I’m a good boss; I’m fair.” Er, no you’re not. You’re vindictive and hypocritical. So, Andy’s the new Estate Manager then? Who was running it before? Where’s all the staff?  Declan felt he had to rub John’s nose in it again in the pub (John’s got a lot of money to spend … for a man with no money).

Declan: “He wouldn’t like to admit it in front of some people, but he seemed pretty happy.”

John: “Nobody’s happy around you mate.”

Laurel’s not happy, and neither is Marlon. Rachel’s like a fly round a bin, and everyone’s putting two and two together and coming up with five. They need to get Leanne Barlow in to explain it to them. “Are they courting?” Edna asked Laurel.

Laurel & Edna - Emmerdale-y - Jane Reynolds' weekly Emmerdale reviewLaurel tried to appear nonchalant. “No, I don’t think so,” she started-off innocently, before adding an urgent, desperate “Why, what have you heard? Any expert ‘people-spotter’ in that bar couldn’t fail to have noticed the ‘looks’ they kept giving each other, although in Soaps, it’s often the most innocent of looks that get taken the wrong way (Belle thinking she’s worked out who the father of Amy’s baby is, for example)!

Katie - Emmerdale-y - Jane Reynolds' weekly Emmerdale reviewNicola and Jimmy are back together, but Nico’s still not happy. “I want a man to be a man … but only if he does what I want,” she explained to Katie. Classic! She wasted no time on that score, and Jimmy being ‘More assertive’ equates to Doing more for Nicola by the look of it so far!

She doesn’t do much to ‘big him up’ either. “He thinks he’s Daniel Craig – as if! You should see him in his Y-fronts,” she told Katie bluntly. Katie’s face was a picture!

David - Emmerdale-y - Jane Reynolds' weekly Emmerdale reviewTalking of Y-fronts, Hairy David’s back.  Er, non-Hairy David, who’s now doing a very passable impression of David Beckham (who’s well-known for posing in Y-Fronts). We like!

Nikhil - Emmerdale-y - Jane Reynolds' weekly Emmerdale reviewThere were more men in tight clothing this week, as Nik and Nicky continue to parade around the village (watch out for those cars guys). Why do they only have a perfect ‘V’ of sweat under their chins though? Is it from dribbling at the sight of Gennie, or did they spray the rest of their bodies with ‘Sure’ deodorant first?

Nikhil - Emmerdale-y - Jane Reynolds' weekly Emmerdale reviewI do think that Nikhil looks particularly cute in this shot (I’m speaking completely objectively here, of course!), and thought that all you Rik fans might enjoy it! If he wants to snare Gennie though, he might be able to learn a few lessons from Carl ‘The Player’ King. Or maybe not …

Karl: “I was thinking about you at night while I was away.”

Alicia: “Right. Well, book the flights next time, and I’ll be there.”

Carl: “I don’t think you understand how haulage works love.”

I don’t think he understands how most women work, but ‘The Player’ managed to get her out for the night, and things were going to plan:

Carl & Alicia - Emmerdale-y - Jane Reynolds' weekly Emmerdale reviewAlicia: “I’ve drunk far too much.”

Carl: “We’ll go back to mine then, and I’ll take advantage of you.”

Oh, the silver-tongued devil! Mind you, he was looking good this week too. Have all the guys had a make-over or something this week? Carl and Alicia don’t make a ‘pair’ though, and I can’t see theirs being more than a quick knee-trembler (if he even gets that far with her)!

Alicia was mean not to take Sarah’s present though; quite offhand. There was no need for that. Just because she and Andy had finished didn’t mean she couldn’t accept a present. Must be the first time she’s ever turned one down!

Chas & Aaron - Emmerdale-y - Jane Reynolds' weekly Emmerdale reviewAaron’s being horrible to Hazel, but she’s not intimidated. “You can’t ignore me; you know how loud I am,” she reminded him. I was glad to see Paddy shout at him though. That’s exactly what he needs: someone to put their foot down and show him a bit of authority.

Poor Chas is at her wits’ end with him though – even getting a knife and holding it over her own wrist. Steady on love.

Moving on, and it’s a bumper edition of Grin of the Week!

Katie: “Get your mind out of the gutter.”

Declan: “But it’s so happy there.”

Rhona - Emmerdale-y - Jane Reynolds' weekly Emmerdale reviewPaddy: “You do know we’re only going to the pub?”

Rhona: “Yes. When you said ‘Let’s go to the pub’, I understood every word.

Hazel: “I might have to get a lodger.”

Brenda: “Good luck with the Advert.”

Victoria: “I’ve already done all the hoovering and emptied the bag.”

Amy: “Great story. I can’t wait for the film version.”

Jimmy: “I’ve got my mojo back.”

Carl: “No you haven’t. You never had one.”

Victoria: “We were going to get a place together.”

Marlon: “You and Alex?”

Victoria: “No. Me and Sam and a couple of penguins.”

Diane: (Vic’s got her head down on the bar): “Just wipe round her.”

PS Another Emmerdale clock with the ‘Wrong time’ this week was behind Nicola at the house. It showed 9.10, so she’d have been late for work!

PPS Debbie. Please go brown again. That blond is SO not you.

PPPS As stupid ideas go, Alex & Vic squatting is right up there. Where are they going to get all their stuff from? Stuff costs money, and he hasn’t got any. *justsaying*

*If the way Nico talks to Jimmy makes you laugh, then you’ll love the BBC Radio 4’s Series Clare in the Community, which has a character just like Nico, and her partner Brian, who’s just like Jimmy! It’s very funny stuff (the first few Series are available on CD).


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