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Two big topics this week: a tiny baby, and someone who’s got about as much sense as one. Yes, it’s Katie’s marriage proposal.
Declan’s STILL behaving like a stoppy teenager (and shutting her out over Mia), yet the second he gives her a ring and ‘magics-up’ a meal out of thin air she’s all, “Ooh, he’s changed,” and “Ooh, I love him.” I’m no feminist, but come on girl; aren’t you worth more than that?
What? Don’t forget he’s a millionaire, Jane? Yes, I know that, but he treats her like a TV remote control and she just goes and dumps her friends every time he ‘summons’ her. Still; it’s her bed and she’ll have to lie in it. Just don’t come crying to me in six months time when you can’t stand it any more, lady.
Right. That’s her told; what’s next? Ah, the Bartons. Moira’s been hanging round the kitchen with a face like an abandoned puppy. Holly was pleased to see everyone at the table for dinner. “Look, we’re like a normal family,” she smiled. “Oops. Now we’re not,” she added as her mum sat down!
John was struggling (I saw this week that he’s leaving, so I’m guessing they’re a couple who won’t be renewing their Wedding Vows anytime soon then?), as Moira tried to talk herself back into his good books. “He forced you, did he? Multiple times?” he shouted at her as she tried to justify her affair. Ooh, that Cain. I reckon he’s heading for trouble …
Along with Katie, I wanted to shake Pointless Priya this week too, for being so stupid as to not realise how Cain’s using her. She’s another one behaving like a spoilt teenager. Has she met Declan? Crikey, those two would be a marriage made in Heaven. Book the Church!
It was jaw-dropping to see the Police turn up to question Jai. He didn’t assault her; he tried to take hold of her arms and she stumbled. Easily done. I fell over in the loft on Saturday while getting the Christmas decorations out. You should see the bruises (I can barely sit down), but am I calling the Police?
With Christmas approaching, I thought Amy’s baby would have popped out in front of the Nativity scene at the Church, but instead made his entrance in the Graveyard (Cain’s son – why not!), before being left in a phone box. No wonder they thought he was dead; he was probably just holding his breath.
Poor old David. He’d got his glass of wine and was JUST about to sit down to his lonely dinner for one (like me every night), when he was interrupted. You’ve got to hand it to him and Amy though. They gave us a heart-rending performance (and Amy will no doubt do the same again this week too), and I was filling-up every five minutes as the story unfolded. You really felt as if she was ‘living’ it, and Eric’s reaction when he found out had me blubbing like a … baby. Luckily, I wasn’t wearing a load of mascara like Amy or there’d have been a right mess!
She looks so young and pretty without all that slap on. Funny how teenagers are all so keen to cake their faces in make-up when their skin’s the best it’ll ever be. Give it twenty years and they’ll be shovelling it on with a trowel.
Have you noticed how much Amy looks like Val (as do Brenda & Gennie)? There’s a real resemblance there. Speaking of ‘mess’ though: Amy looked (er, how can I say this politely?), remarkably clean and tidy ‘down below’ (considering she’d just had a baby), but it was funny when the Paramedic said, “I can imagine you’ll be in a bit of pain. Can you tell me where it is?’ and Amy replied incredulously, “Where d’ya THINK?”
I have to say though: Amy, David, Val, Eric, Lisa, Zac AND our Belle have all been wonderful this week. Belle’s always been good (right from when she was a nipper), but she’s truly blossomed over the last year. I hope she sticks around for 
another few years at least, as there’ll be a lot of comedy mileage to come once she starts dating!
Can’t wait to see this week’s Episodes as Val, Eric and Amy start to come to terms with it all, and for the moment when everyone finds out that the baby’s Cain’s. Uh, oh!
Emmerdale’s been SO good over the last couple of years. It achieves a perfect balance between drama and comedy and it’s about time it really got the recognition it truly deserves. It’s been a good week for laughs (inbetween all the serious stuff), and here’s my Grins of the Week:
Nicola: “Because of that tangerine cow, our lives are still on hold.”
Brenda: “I’ve got one of my feelings.”
Amy: “Oh. Just the one, is it?”
Katie: “I haven’t got it out yet.” (the ring)
Gennie: “I’d wear the box!”
Chas: “Marlon. Large glass of wine over here love.”
Marlon: While you do what?”
Chas: “Pay your wages, love.”
Val: “Ooh, Eric. We’re going to be parents again.”
Eric: “I tingle.”
Charity: “I don’t know if I feel like watching Sam picking his feet and feeding it to the dogs.”
Chas: “Well, at least he’s graduated from picking his nose.”
Charity: “No, babe: he does ‘combos’.”
Katie: “I was all set to say yes (to the marriage proposal), then Sam turned up.”
Gennie: “What, and beat you to it?”
Belle (when Zac was on about sex): “I haven’t even done ‘kissing’ yet.”
PS Funny how Dermot just happened to be ‘dossing’ with one of his friends down the road (when Declan had banished him back to Ireland), and could go with him to scatter Mia’s ashes (in a shoe shop perhaps, as she hardly had an affiliation with Yorkshire from what I’d seen?), and why hadn’t he even bothered to visit his grieving son? I know it’s a problem for Soaps when a character’s left, but it’s not realistic for viewers. (Not that I’m bothered; I never liked Dermot anyway!)
PPS Chas gave a customer his pint and didn’t thank him or even look at him. It’s hardly ‘Barmaid of the Year’ behaviour, is it?
PPPS Marlon had a crush on Moira not so long ago. Now she’s moving in with him, will he be ‘setting his cap’ at her again before the week’s out, I wonder?
PPPS Fabulous writing for Charity/Chas (from Paul Roundell) in Thursday’s Episode. Those two have got such great chemistry. I love every single scene they do together.
PPPPS Still no real big romantic, ‘Oh, I’ve loved you for so long and you can’t believe how it hurt me when you were so horrible to me all those months,” and “I know, I can’t believe it either. I loved you really but I was just a fool and I’m SO sorry,” talk betwen Gennie and Nikhil yet, but at least they looked happy as they had a snog and then ran upstairs on Monday (without either of them spilling a drop of their glasses of red wine), for a bit of Afternoon Delight!
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