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The gossips were out in force this week (there’s certainly plenty to keep Betty, Pearl and Edna busy at the moment!), so Debbie decided to confront it head-on. Cameron, Alicia (and Andy’s!), faces were a picture when she announced in the pub that her and Andy were back together.
A couple wishing they were together are Marlon and Laurel. Laurel’s being so unfair though. She keeps finding reasons/excuses to be with Marlon (which is exactly what people in that position do), but it’s so unfair on him. If she’d really told him ‘No’ and meant it then he would have left her alone, but he’s besotted, and it’s her fault for finding excuses to keep on going to see him.
“Are we having our first row?” she asked him as he tried to ask her why she was doing it. They’re supposed to be “Just Good Friends?” (ooh, I know a book with that title!), but it’s only a matter of time before this blows up in their faces, as Ashley’s finally twigged that something’s going on.
The scene between him and Sandy was beautifully acted.
Ashley: “What have you seen?”
Sandy: “Enough to make me uncomfortable.”
What a difficult position Sandy was in: knowing what he knew. After having happily thought he’d got the wrong end of the stick over the cake (when he saw Laurel at Marlon’s), Diane’s subsequent revelation that Laurel hadn’t iced it herself was when the penny finally dropped for Ashley.
Anyone who’s ever had a partner cheat on them is able to pinpoint the exact sickening moment when it all became real. That moment stays with you for the rest of your life, and it happened to Ashley in the pub …
It happened to John this week too. I thought this one would have gone on a bit longer, as despite Moira repeatedly telling Cain how much he disgusted her, she’d then immediately have sex with him (interesting type of foreplay)!
Cain’s at his scariest when he’s being told what to do. “Is it that time already? Come in,” he smirked at Moira as she stormed up to him at the Garage, and for a moment it looked as if he was being sympathetic as she desperately tried to tell him it was over. She was absolutely ‘bricking it’, and rightly so.
Cain doesn’t take kindly to threats or ultimatums though, so immediately set-out to wind John up to the point where he too, suddenly put two and two together. It was a great scene between the two men.
Cain: “If I was you John–”
John (cutting-in): “Which you’re not.”
Cain: “Thank God, cos I’d have to kill myself.”
He played with John – like a cat with a mouse. John thought he’d been after Holly, or Hannah even.
Cain: “That drip?”
No, it was Moira, and the revelation about her birthmark was the moment John knew what he was really saying, and Cain had to lock himself in the Garage as John flew at him. “Johnny-boy! I haven’t been chased by a farmer for years!” Cain laughed from behind the door. It’s all a game to him, and he doesn’t care who he hurts. Bad Cain!
John’s confrontation with Moira was brilliant (didn’t like that girlie round-necked top he was wearing though!). “It was your face that gave it away, you stupid bitch,” he shouted at her desperately.
There’s very little ‘real’ swearing in Soaps because of the watershed (even though we see things happen that – to me – aren’t suitable for young children), but sometimes you just have to have a proper swear word, don’t you? The daft thing is though: when I’m sat in my office, the language I hear shouted by the 7-11 year-olds playing on the bit of grass outside is far worse than anything you’re likely to hear even post-watershed – never mind pre!
Anyway. What’s going to happen next? Is this the end for the Bartons? Roll on next week. John’s a broken man, as is Declan. His acting this week has been exquisite. He’s an emotionally ‘cold’ character, but – like Tanya in EastEnders – with the tiniest flick of an eyebrow or twitch of the mouth, this week he’s said more in those almost imperceptible movements than any number of words could convey. (Wasn’t Nicola sweet to him too? Bless.)
What about that WPC who came to break the news to him though? You’d have thought she was turning up to tell him he’d won the Lottery, she was that cheerful. Oh dear. There’s another one who blew her big chance!
I’m loving Dan. What a great new character. He’s playing the part of a man whose wife’s left him for another woman exactly right. He’s obviously just a regular guy who can’t quite work out what’s happened. “Please stop being a lesbian and come home,” he urged. “I love you.”
“And I love you – but not the way I should,” she replied. “I wasn’t looking for this to happen. I didn’t want this to happen. It just DID.” It’s happening more and more.* He and Nicola have clicked straight away (comedy-wise).
Dan: “Are you married? I’d have had you down as a Spinster.”
Nicola: “Says the man who put his wife off men for life.”
Nicola’s bemused by the whole business, but was pragmatic: “Ok, they’re lesbians – and there’s a psycho ex – but as long as they pay their rent …”
It’s not always easy to tell in Emmerdale, as the music’s often just that little bit too quiet to identify (I wish the person in charge of that would get a job doing the music on MasterChef!), but we did have a good bit of Appropriate/Inappropriate music in the background when The Kinks’ ‘You really got me’ CLICK HERE FOR LYRICS/VIDEO was playing behind Marlon and Laurel in the cafe! (We also had Tom Jones’ ‘Please release me’ at the end of the week (when Laurel and Marlon were exchanging anguished glances in the Woolpack on Ashley’s Birthday!)
Aaron gets a Good Drinking from a Mug Award this week, and here’s my Grins of the Week:
Cain (to John at the Barton’s): “Pleasure doing business with you … and you Moira.”
Paddy (about Rhona): “She’s not the boss of me.” Well-said Paddy. Let’s see you say that to her face!
Chas (to Katie): “What is is with you and secretive weirdos?”
Nicola: “Could you make this place look any more untidy?”
Dan: “If it keeps you busy, I can try.”
Nicola: “I was being sarcastic.”
Dan: “You certainly weren’t being pretty!”
Moira: “You can sleep with who you want.”
Cain: “Thanks. That’s kind. I’ll remember that.”
Dan: “You two look pleased with yourselves.”
Ruby: “We’re just happy. Jog on.”
PS 
Moira’s looking more and more like Chas. I’d hate Cain to get confused!
PPS If Declan wants to speak to Jai in private, why don’t THEY leave the room rather than expect Nikhil to leave?
PPPS Isn’t Lisa a nice mum? So kind.
PPPPS Jai said to Declan, “I wanted to catch you before the staff got here.” Er, Nicola, you mean?
PPPPPS Those two extras sat behind the witches’ coven (Betty, Pearl and Edna), in the cafe were both talking at the same time, and both nodding the whole time too. Do they get paid extra for that?
PPPPPPS Declan’s looked nice this week, as did Jai; that red V-neck jumper really suited him. Have they both had the ‘Emmerdale makeover’? Everyone seems to have been looking so much better over the last three months or so!
* Ruth’s a married woman who can’t help her feelings as she falls for her closest friend. My novel “Just Good Friends?” is a fast-paced chick-lit/lesbian romance. CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO/TO BUY
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