'Emmerdale-y' – 30th October 2011

*You can hear me talking Soaps 11.30-12.00 am on Thursdays & 4.10-4.25 pm Fridays on Swindon 105.5 FM CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

Marlon - Emmerdale - Jane Reynolds' weekly 'Emmerdale-y' reviewOoh. When Laurel smiled at Marlon in the cafe on Monday it gave me goosebumps, and I sat there excitedly (much like Marlon himself), waiting for her to turn up for yet-another ‘talk’. It looked as if the big moment was finally going to arrive when she admitted that she loved him too.

“So, what happens next?” he asked – with all the excitement of a kiddie on Christmas Eve.

Laurel - Emmerdale - Jane Reynolds' weekly 'Emmerdale-y' review“I don’t think we can do anything. Being unfaithful: it’s not who I am,” was SO not what he wanted to hear! Poor Marlon. His little face; he looked so deflated. “I should never have come round. I’m messing you about,” she cried. You’re not wrong there, love.

He had to settle for a game of virtual bowling, but there was rather a lot of touching going on – for a couple who’ve agreed to be ‘Just Good Friends’. I think we were all very disappointed by the lack of progress in that relationship this week – although not half as much as Marlon!

Cain - Emmerdale - Jane Reynolds' weekly 'Emmerdale-y' reviewHe should have taken a leaf out of Cain’s book. You’ve got to hand it to him: he certainly throws himself into his seduction scenes, and as for Moira … she spent most of the week almost spilling-out of her clothes. Talk about a ‘Heaving bosom’. When she was ranting at Cain he could barely take his eyes off her boobs (to be fair though, they’re a fine example (I’d be grateful for even half as much!), and it was pretty-hard to know where else to look)!

Moira & Cain - Emmerdale - Jane Reynolds' weekly 'Emmerdale-y' reviewIf she ends up having to leave the Village in disgrace when it all comes out (the affair, not her chest), there’s a Period Drama out there with her name on it. That scene in the Garage was one of the hottest things I’ve ever seen in a Soap. Are we in for another ‘Who’s the daddy?’ storyline here, as she went straight from Cain’s arms (you’d think he’d have learned his lesson by now and used a condom wouldn’t you?), to her husband’s.

Old Rodders was getting a bit excited himself by a bit of new (Denny) blood in the Village, and homed in on Ruby and Ali.*  “Do you want to tell him or should I?” Nicola sighed wearily.

Nicola’s not impressed by them. “The girlfriend’s definitely trouble,” she told Laurel. “I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s got tattoos.” It’s mostly because they’ve got her old cottage, and she took no time in popping-in for a snoop. “Love what you’ve done with the place: nothing,” she sniffed under her breath as she looked around.

Aaron & Sean - Emmerdale - Jane Reynolds' weekly 'Emmerdale-y' reviewWe’ve got another delinquent kid badmouthing his mother storyline (yawn), but I’m pinning my hopes on Sean secretly having a crush on Aaron. That would be a good way of explaining his antagonism towards Ruby, and I loved the moment where he was locked in the van, and Aaron just raised his eyebrow at the window and he opened the door for him. Nice.

That other bit of unrequited love’s looking to have turned itself on its head, with Nik suddenly pining for Gennie (those big, brown puppy-dog eyes of his must be hard for her to resist – despite the rubbish that comes out of his mouth!).

“You know my problem?” he tried to explain.

Gennie & Nik - Emmerdale - Jane Reynolds' weekly 'Emmerdale-y' review“You only got the one?” she muttered under her breath as he attempted – yet again – to explain himself. He’s only got himself to blame though, but – typical Nik – can’t understand why she’s upset with him. “Giving her a bad reference was an accident, was it?” Jai reminded him helpfully, and he then went and put his foot in it again, to which she really gave him ‘what for’.

“I might not have long legs, or blond hair, or a chest that needs its own postcode, but there are some men who find me … rather a catch,” she told him – in no uncertain terms. Come on, hurry it up Nik. We’re dying of suspense here!

Emmerdale always gets the balance of drama and humour just right. Here’s my Grins of the Week:

Sam - Emmerdale - Jane Reynolds' weekly 'Emmerdale-y' reviewCain: “Madame Cameron’s been reading the tea leaves again.”

Rachel: “I just got tested.”

Nicola: “You talking to me?”

Sam (to The Lesbians): “Do you know Zoe Tate?”

Cain (to Cameron): “I don’t need a lecture from ‘Rent-a-dad’.

David (kindly to Hannah): “Come on, be reasonable.”

Holly (interfering): “Oh yeah. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

Cain (to Belle): “I don’t like lies, especially when they’re 4’6″.”

Pearl - Emmerdale - Jane Reynolds' weekly 'Emmerdale-y' reviewPearl (to The Lesbians): “You must be the new people.”

Ruby: “What gave it away?”

Belle (adressing Amy): “I’ve been looking for you.”

Brenda: “Well, where else would I be?”

Belle: “Not you.”

PS Oops. Alicia let the cat out of the bag, didn’t she?

PPS John texted ‘Running late – call you in a bit’. Wouldn’t ‘Van broken down – call you in a bit’ have been better?

PPPS Ooh, The Lesbians are drinking pints. I hate that.

PPPPS Not all lesbians have tattoos and drink pints. (Think Zoe Tate!)

PPPPPS How about a smart, wealthy lesbian couple moving to the Village too (a Doctor, perhaps – or another lesbian vet?) That’ll ruffle a few feathers!

* Fancy reading a juicy chick-lit/lesbian romance all rolled into one? Try my novel “Just Good Friends?” (It’s almost as hot as Cain and Moira!)  CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO



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