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Amy sailed off, Val launched a tirade at Eric before spicing the main brace, and Jai needs to brace himself!
Blimey. What a depressing week. Marlon, Laurel, Paddy and Rhona sniping at each other; Declan looking as miserable as someone who’s lost a fortune and also had to give away a house (ah, actually, he DID!); David, Priya and Alicia in a state over the (non) abortion, and Amy’s tears having half the country wailing (although it was the shot of Eric and Val that finished me off). I’m with Val:
“I’ll have a large gin please, and make it a slimline tonic, cos I think I might comfort eat later.” Sounds like a plan!
Thank goodness we’ve got Charity finding out about Archie to cheer us all up this week, but I doubt that even Jai will have as much vitriol thrown at him as poor Eric, Kerry et al got from Val this week.
“Steer clear, pet. She’s got her tongue set to ‘stun’ today,” Diane warned Andy. Luckily, he’s got very broad shoulders so was able to cope with being told that he was “Not the full picnic, pet”. Or maybe he just didn’t ‘get it’ – what with being not the full picnic, and all?
Anybody who throws a perfectly good mobile phone out of a car window (especially when it’s someone else’s) is clearly not the full picnic either, but then Amy wasn’t thinking clearly I suppose, was she?
I’m not sure how she was able to simply walk straight into Kyle’s playgroup (they’re harder to get into than the packaging on a child’s toy normally!), but she did, and it all ended with everyone in floods as Amy sailed off to Ireland.
She didn’t appear to have any bags with her, so I hope she’ll be ok. I’m worried about Kerry’s missing shoe. Twenty quid that cost her!
Val and Eric had no sooner rekindled their passion (much to Vic’s disgust: “Oy. If you two want to ‘get it on’, take yourselves home. There’s no way I’m changing the bed again,” she warned) than she was right back to hurling insults at him again.
Val always sees herself as totally blameless in any situation, and despite pointing the finger at and insulting just about everyone in the village, she remained as stubborn as usual:
Val: “I’m not going to apologise.”
Eric: “Do you ever?”
It was deeply moving to see both Val, Eric and Kerry broken-hearted at Amy’s departure, but life goes on and I – for one – cannot wait to see Charity centre stage again next week. She’s been off my screen for way too long!
I was getting worried that with all the sorrow and misery we wouldn’t have had ANY Grins of The Week, but luckily Val’s glorious comic lines/timing have given me plenty to be able to write here!
Eric: “Let’s look on the bright side, should we? For once in your life, you’re not to blame.”
Val : “No. YOU are.”
Victoria (repulsed): “I’m not sure we wanna know!”
Val: “Ah, here he is … having been drinking coffee all morning with my sister.”
Eric: “And people say we’re always bickering: how wide of the mark could they be?”
Eric: “I’ve bent over backwards to comfort that woman. She needs a punchbag as well as a husband.”
Val: “What? You can’t multitask?”
Val: “If he won the lottery, he’d still complain about the two quid it cost him to put it on.”
Val: “I didn’t know you had one.”
Dan: “She’s not stupid to run off with a child.”
Val: “She IS stupid enough.”
And just a couple of other little non-Val/Eric-based ones:
Bernice: “Gabby. Don’t put blusher on Angel, darling. It’s hardly age-appropriate.”
Carl (to Moira): “I thought you’d be out delivering your shrink-wrapped animals?”
* How on earth could Eric have thought he was going to be able to prepare a ‘tasting menu’ for twelve that evening when he’d been sat boozing in the pub all afternoon? What was he going to give them: a tub of mixed olives, a variety pack of crisps and a packet of Revels?
* Val was checking ferry times on ‘Poodle’. Lol. With all the product placement that’s gradually creeping into Soaps I’m surprised it they didn’t just show Google and have done with it.
* I’m not sure Paddy suggesting that Rhona should have ‘gone back to bed with Lorraine Kelly’ was the smartest move. It’s not five minutes since he thought she was in bed with Vanessa. Subliminal messages, Paddy …
* Will Andy turn out to be a long-lost relative of James Barton? They’ve got a matching pair of broad shoulders wide enough to prop up an outbuilding between them!
* Not sure that’s an appropriate car for a (non, but presumably soon to be restored) vicar; nor is driving it out of the village so fast either. It’s lucky Amelia wasn’t still doing her little dance in the middle of the road or she’d be needing that fifty quid for bandages.
* ‘Time’s the one thing you can’t get back’, Kerry said this week.
I went to see a clairvoyant after my mum died and she told me that my mum was urging her to tell me these words: ‘You can’t recover time’. What wise, wise words they are …
YOU MIGHT ALSO ENJOY MY YAHOO!TV SOAP ARTICLE: ‘WHAT WE LEARNT FROM LAST WEEK’S SOAPS’. (Original material, not duplicated from this post.) A humorous look at this week’s money/time-saving tips and hints from Soapland!