Ian dumped in a quarry? Alas, no …

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Unlike Ian, Queen Vic Corner has gone ‘slimline’ – and that’s not because there’s nothing good worth saying this week; it’s just a new look!

Ian EastEndersI was very nearly excited twice this week. Once when I thought Ian was going to get dumped in a quarry, and secondly when I saw that Sam character heading towards the tube station with his passport in his pocket.

Alas, my hopes were dashed – as both of them both returned to the Square. I was so pleased when they brought Ava in, but Sam and Dexter bore the bonemarrow out of me. I know Sam’s going, but it’s a shame Ava’s leaving too and and not Dexter. Her character was never used to its full potential – unlike Kat and Alfie …

Please, not again

They have been used to their full potential, but ‘enough, already’, as next week we’ll see them – once again – decide that they can’t live without each other. For goodness’ sake; how many times are they going to put these two back together?

I can live without having to go through all this AGAIN, and now that Michael’s dead and Janine’s lying through her teeth about it, the whole thing just feels like a life sentence to me. Alice has got more to look forward to than us viewers at the moment.

All that gangster stuff this week was BEYOND tedious (and farcical) too, and the only thing keeping me going are Bianca’s mob, Carol and David’s ‘will they, won’t they?’, and waiting for Shirley and the new family to roll up. Please make it soon, before I lose the will.

David EastEndersThe only thing I enjoyed this week (apart from seeing Peter) was David. Unlike the rest of Walford’s so-called ‘villains’, he really IS believable. When he was ‘having a chat’ with Carl in the Restaurant it was enough to make anyone lose their appetite, although I wouldn’t have drunk ANY glass of wine that had been brought to me out of a kitchen either!

The other bits:

There was a bit of Appropriate/Inappropriate Music in the Background. As CC, Lauren and Amy were discussing Max’s trial (the next day) and the loan shark we heard Fleetwood Mac’s ‘If your life was bad to you, Just think what tomorrow will do’ in the background behind them.

Talking of Amy; we had some Bad Drinking from a Mug to rival (current world champion) Alfie this week. She walked into the kitchen, tipping the (clearly empty) mug up to her mouth then started talking without swallowing. Call me petty, but come on. Swallowing follows drinking – it’s da law!

One word, but it still qualified for a Bad Acting from a ‘Supporting Artiste’ this week. Max’s solicitor turned and asked a guy called Glen if the judge was back, to which he replied ‘Yes’. One word, but he couldn’t have acted it worse if he’d tried. Go back and watch it and you’ll see (Tuesday, 22 minutes, 30 seconds in)!

I thought it would be too good to be true. After a couple of better weeks, we’re back to barely any Grins of the Week again:

David: “Ian’s a nice fella and all that – if you like weasels.”

Kat: “Michael was at his happiest when everyone thought he was a weirdo.”

PS

Max EastEnders* For those of you old enough to remember ‘The President’s Brain Is Missing’ from Spitting Image; this totally reminded me of it! Was this Max’s long-lost hair?

* ‘Spud’ looked at the breakfast cereals and said to Carol: “Got anyfing that’s not supermarket ‘own brand’?” I find it a stretch to think that she’d be that fussy, tbh!

* David was on about Ian’s house being brown, brown, brown, then said: “I’m picking up a bad smell.” Nothing brown, I hope?

Janine EastEnders* Do you reckon the residents of those flats are close enough to watch the filming?

* Why was nobody at that quarry? Nobody. Surely there’d be someone there?

*How many ‘takes’ did it take to shoot Ian and Carl running through the streets? Neither of them look as if they’ve run anything more than a bath since their childhoods. Did they have to film it in stages, I wonder?

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YOU MIGHT ALSO ENJOY MY YAHOO!TV SOAP ARTICLE: WHAT WE LEARNT FROM LAST WEEK’S SOAPS’. (Original material, not duplicated from this post.) A humorous look at this week’s money/time-saving tips and hints from Soapland!

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