Ok. As I finally start to write this section it’s almost 1.00 pm on Monday. This has been a thought-provoking week for me, and the technical problems I’ve had this morning have really, really helped to focus my mind.
This blog’s taken about 40 hours to produce. I really have to question why I’m spending so much time on it. I only get paid for one day’s work a week (cleaning), yet work seven days a week. My ONLY reason for working so many hours is to finally realise my dream of earning a living as a writer.
This time last week I was shaking (because I’d been pushing myself so hard and working so many hours). I’ve only had around five hours sleep a night for months now. When I bumped into Geoff in the corridor last Monday afternoon and he asked me if I was still ok for our coffee the next day (which we’d arranged and I’d forgotten about as I hadn’t even had time to look in my diary!), I would have cancelled, but for the fact that I’d had to postpone him once already – and hate to let people down.
Geoff has an office on the same floor as me, and we occasionally bump into each other and exchange a few words. I’ve always wanted to have a proper chat with him but never had the time. I didn’t have the time last Tuesday, but reluctantly met him at 10.30 and we went for coffee. We were still sat there three hours later, and those three hours might have prevented me having a total collapse (without wanting to sound too dramatic!).
Geoff was like me: driven and dedicated. He ended up in a coma because of it. He’s now a Reiki Healer/hypnotist etc, and after our talk I went straight back to my office, shut my mac down and took the rest of the day off (except for the Soap-watching that night, of course!).
I’ve taken it a lot easier in the five days since that chat (worked about 15 hours less – which has really helped), but this blog has worn me out! Fancy getting worn out by your blog. How stupid is that? Once I post this I’ve got a pile of things to do that will take me the next seven days at least, but it’ll soon be blog-time again.
I do this blog as I love the TV/Soap-blogging (and as it’s hopefully a ‘CV’ of my style), but I also want to write comedy; another novel; my ‘Meals in moments for someone who only has a five-minute window to get into the kitchen’ (!) cookbook (it’s got a MUCH better title than that!); finish my play; write my little books to encourage kiddies to want to eat ‘proper’ food and write a Supermarket/foodie blog, but where will I find the time?
There’s a couple of ‘dream’ writing jobs I’d like to do if I was asked, but one way or another I have to make some sort-of a change to this crazy cycle I’m in. I’ve always said to you all that I dream of the day I finally get some good news and am able to share it with you. My goal this week is to try and work out a way of moving closer to that. Not sure how, but I’m working on it!
My regular radio rambles – ‘Jane’s Soapy Slot’ on The Big Weekender with Nick and Barry at 4.15pm on Fridays, and my half-hour ‘Big Blog’ spot between 11.30-12.00 on Alastair Greener’s Thursday show are both on Swindon 105.5 FM (do listen live online if you fancy it!). CLICK HERE FOR SITE
Still with me? Good! On with the blog.