Queen Vic Corner – 9th October 2011

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It took till Thursday before I finally found out that Frankie Moon was Eddie’s daughter in – guess where? – Spain, and why do Soaps give so female characters boys’ names; it’s very confusing!

I’ll tell you something else that’s confusing. Where does Michael Moon get his money from? Why didn’t Vanessa just go straight off and tell someone she was only taking the money because Eddie had told her to, or just take it to Jack and tell him what had happened? Why didn’t Jodie go with her when she tried to take the money back, and why didn’t she take Jodie with her?

Jodie & Poppie - EastEnders - Jane Reynolds' weekly 'Queen Vic Corner' reviewLeaving dumb and dumber to cope on their own’s bordering on child neglect. It didn’t take long for it to sink in. “I’m an orphan,” Jodie announced, “If you don’t count my parents.” Scary.

The whole week has felt disjointed to me though, as if they had to catch a plane to Spain and knew they had to get the Vanessa storyline tied up; couldn’t think what to write, so just scribbled something down and ran with it.

Vanessa - EastEnders - Jane Reynolds' weekly 'Queen Vic Corner' reviewI also don’t understand why Eddie was so horrible to her at the end, but the thing I REALLY don’t understand is how Vanessa’s entire possessions (including that whole rail of white clothes), fitted into those two tiny bags? She’d need an expanding suitcase for the hairspray alone.

The last scene of her tottering down the road was … well, weak. Sorry, but would she just pick up her bags and set-off up the road (like the Fast Show‘s Dave Angel)? She deserved a much better exit than that. A new man would have been nice. Vanessa was a good character who got a rough deal – in my opinion (other opinions are available!).

Someone who deserved worse, was Michael. Again, it all seemed a bit ‘contrived’. He cried that “It was an accident,” when Eddie accused him of putting Tyler in the ring with a ‘killer’. Yeah, I can see how that could ‘accidently’ happen(!)

Vanessa could do a lot worse than hook up with the Creepy Doctor. Look at the advantages: it would be so easy on wash-day. Two piles of clothes; one white, one black, although he did spook me this week by wearing a cream-coloured shirt. Maybe that’s a clue? He’s going to take that job in Karachi; drive out of the Square in a Taxi, see Vanessa on the road to nowhere and take her with him. Sorted!

As for Eddie: who would just chuck their mobile phone into a bush because someone rang that they didn’t want to speak to? Phones cost money you know? Just delete their number, it’s a lot cheaper. Where did he get the money to buy all those flights too, and why do Soap characters always book flights for that same afternoon without ever consulting anyone (which must cost a fortune too, buying on the day), then – mostly – end up not going?

Whitney - EastEnders - Jane Reynolds' weekly 'Queen Vic Corner' reviewTyler couldn’t go because he couldn’t leave Whitney (er, you’re not even going out with her – and she’d just given you a right piece of her mind), and Anthony couldn’t go because he didn’t have any money. If I didn’t have any money and someone offered me a free ticket to a new life in Spain with my non-existent brother or sister Frankie, I’d be off like a shot.

Another – Frankie, no frankly – embarrassing scene this week was the Council buffet. AS … IF … Ian would have thrown that cake in Gordon Bags’ face, and AS IF he would have stood there and let him do it not once, but twice, and AS IF they’d have a food fight? Sometimes a good old scrap’s funny. This one wasn’t, nor was Michael’s performance as he realised he’d been ‘undone’ (although I feel that was down to the writing and not him).

Michael - EastEnders - Jane Reynolds' weekly 'Queen Vic Corner' reviewIt clearly affected him as the shirt he had on in the next scene was more like something from Saturday Night Fever than the usual ‘style’ (if that’s the word you’d use), he normally wears.

Ben - EastEnders - Jane Reynolds' weekly 'Queen Vic Corner' reviewOk. Who would spray graffiti everywhere, then pop the can on the top of a full bin (without even trying to hide it), in the middle of the Square you live in, in broad daylight? Yes, it’s Ben. Clearly not thinking straight, he got discovered by Christian, who at least managed to actually talk to him without walking off at the critical moment this week.

I have to say; I’ve felt quite miffed watching EastEnders this week. Some of the writing wasn’t exactly credible, and some of the scenes really made me cringe. (Why is Kat being so horrible to Alfie again/still?) There were two saving graces. One was Phil. The way he’s behaving over Ben is exactly how you’d expect him to, and it’s gripping to watch him not even try to deal with his son’s declaration.

Tanya - EastEnders - Jane Reynolds' weekly 'Queen Vic Corner' reviewThe other was seeing Tanya back on Friday. Just a few minutes of her brilliant acting made me forget the week that had just passed, but I’d had it all written down in my little black book though, so it was there to remind me!

‘What’s playing in the Vic this week? Due to time constraints, I’ve had to watch a lot of TV on 1.3 speed this week so haven’t been able to listen-out for the music. There definitely was some though, but what I did manage to rustle-up was a few Grins of the week:

Phil (to the Policeman): “Just give us a Crime Reference Number and push off, will you.”

Tommy - EastEnders - Jane Reynolds' weekly 'Queen Vic Corner' reviewMandy: “Let’s have a nice bottle of bubbly to celebrate my new look.”

Ian: “I’ve always preferred Cava.”

Kat (when Mandy made a comment about her): “Do you like life?”

Man: “Have you met my lovely wife Tuscany?”

Ian: “No, but I’ve always wanted to go there.”

PS How CUTE is baby Tommy? Aah, every time I see him I just want to ‘scootch’ him!

PPS What’s happened to Liam? I thought it must have been his long-lost-never-previously-mentioned-before older brother sat on that swing talking to Eddie. Talk about growing up fast!

PPS See how Anthony carefully put Tyler’s necklace on for him? The Bro-mance continues!


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