Queen Vic Corner – 18th September 2011

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Ok. Soap character (woefully unprepared), goes into boxing ring with gorilla. What’s the outcome? You’ve got it. Character miraculously wins, but ends up in Hospital for life-saving surgery – only to be back on his feet as if nothing’s happened the following week.  Sounds about right?

Tyler is that man.  He suddenly started fancying Whitney before the blow to the head, and asked her to come to his fight.  “If I want to watch someone get beaten up, I’ll watch Pat put the kids to bed,” she replied.  Whit needs some sense knocking into her – to not be able to see that the lovely, sweet Fats is besotted, and would make a far better catch than that brother-loving brother.

Anthony - EastEnders - Jane Reynolds' weekly 'Queen Vic Corner' EastEnders reviewI’ve said before that those two seem far too friendly for their own good.  Last time I saw two siblings so touchy-feel-y was Nat and Georgia’s incest storyline in Brookside!  My brothers haven’t touched each other since Neale sat Michael on his knee when he was a new-born baby, but Tyler and Anthony’s bro-mance had more tears, kissing and hand-holding than when Corrie’s Leanne married Peter on his death-bed.

More like Anthony & Cleopatra than brothers, if you ask me.  Forget him Whit; he’ll only break your heart – although when he does, who’ll be there to pick up the pieces?  You got it!  That’s if Fatboy hasn’t already been snared by the Square’s latest resident, who burst onto our screens this week and had me scribbling in my little book with her very first line:

Faith - EastEnders - Jane Reynolds' weekly 'Queen Vic Corner' EastEnders review“Hey pervs. You might be looking at the booty, but the booty ain’t looking back, ah ha,” she announced, then marched into the cafe and declared to the open-mouthed diners, “Who am I?  Well, drink it in sister.  I am Faith Olubunmni.”

Lauren wasn’t impressed: “She’s lovely; we should SO be friends with her,’ she replied ironically.  Didn’t faze Faith.  “Uh oh.  Bambi’s giving me baby evils,” she quipped.  What a character.  She and Kim either need to become the best of friends or the worst of enemies.  Either way, put them together PLEASE!  They’ll be a damn sight funnier than ‘dumb and dumber’ (whose banter never quite comes off).

Who gets the Fake drinking from an obviously empty mug Award this week? Ooh, it’s a unanimous decision by the judges and … yes, it’s Michael in Monday’s Episode.

Craig - EastEnders - Jane Reynolds' weekly 'Queen Vic Corner' EastEnders reviewMichael - EastEnders - Jane Reynolds' weekly 'Queen Vic Corner' EastEnders reviewDidn’t Michael and his new-found brother Craig have a similar ‘look’ about them? I’m presuming they are meant to be brothers, and that it’s not all part of some trick Eddie’s playing on him? Either way, it was nice to see Michael’s caring side for once, as I didn’t think he actually had one!

It was a bit thin on ‘What’s playing in the Vic this week?but in the big build-up to the fight, as Vanessa hunted Eddie and Carol spotted them together and got the wrong (or was it right?) end of the stick, what did we have?  Paranoid, by Black Sabbath!  Did Eddie actually ‘have’ her?  I thought he had, but she denied it to Carol and so did he (I think).  I’m a bit confused …

Phil & Mandy - EastEnders - Jane Reynolds' weekly 'Queen Vic Corner' EastEnders reviewLet’s have our Grins of the week:

Phil: “It’s Mandy Slutter innit?  You grew up just as I imagined: dog rough.”

Carol (came in with flowers): “I bought them to cheer this place up.”

Pat: “You want to cheer this place up?  Bring gin, not flowers.”

Jack: “Stiller’s a psycho.  Someone died after fighting him.”

Michael: “That was hearsay.”

Vanessa - EastEnders - Jane Reynolds' weekly 'Queen Vic Corner' EastEnders reviewLeast appealing thought of the week: Was from Heather. “I washed Tyler’s shorts.”  Vanessa’s horrified face summed up what we all felt at the thought of that image.

PS Wasn’t Tyler sweet to Hev (again, before the blow to the head!): “There isn’t a single woman alive who doesn’t have something beautiful about them,” he told her kindly.  (He should come and have a look at me and still see if he still thinks the same thing afterwards!)

PPS Did I hear someone say that Shirley’s got a sister too? (Cripes, there’s another long-lost relative they forgot to mention!)

PPPS Janine’s playing Monopoly with the houses on the Square. Please, please get her and Phil to join forces.  What a team they’d make!

PPPPS Laurel and Darren.  OMG.  Jodie’s going to have something to say about that!

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This week there’s also my TV Quick Soap-y Special.  CLICK HERE FOR THE FULL REPORT

Zainab - EastEnders - Jane Reynolds' weekly 'Queen Vic Corner' EastEnders reviewI’ve mentioned on more than once occasion that Zainab’s got the most wonderful smile.  I saw that smile for myself on Tuesday!

Zainab - EastEnders - Jane Reynolds' weekly 'Queen Vic Corner' EastEnders reviewI didn’t get to see that many of the EastEnders cast.  Tamwar looked as stunned and dead-pan as he looks on screen (but better-dressed!), and Afia looked much softer and prettier than she does on-screen.

I asked Whitney if her (very high) shoes hurt her feet, and she laughed and said they did and that she couldn’t wait to get them off!

Those were all the cast I remember seeing.  I’d SO wanted to see Tanya (and Kat, but we all knew in advance that she wasn’t attending unfortunately), but I’ve long-loved Nina Wadia’s acting and she really looked as if she was having a good time and was very kind to talk to me.

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