Soap-y Corner – 10th July 2011

Alicia will fit right in in Spain.  She’s got a Spanish-sounding name (A-leeth-ia), wears Spanish-y type earrings (I could SO see her with a rose between her teeth and a pair of castanets in her hand, dancing the fandango), and with that jet-black hair and all the fake tan she wears, she looks really Spanish too.

She’s right to stick to fake tan.  “This girl from our Estate got addicted to sunbeds.  She ended up with a neck like a guitar – and she were only 28,” she told Andy as she headed off to get some suncream, but not before a few kind words to her sister: “Do you know how hard it is to do mascara with broken fingers …”  She might as well have been off to the beach though, judging by that outfit she nearly had on when she took Jacob to school that morning!

If I was Hairy David I’d be wanting to do a lot more than break Leyla’s fingernails.  The way she speaks to him!  It’s getting worse too.  I don’t know how he puts up with it.  And she wasn’t a bit grateful for the flowers he gave her.  Speaking of flowers: did you see the hyacinth in a pot on the window-sill in their kitchen?  I thought they were only around in the Spring, but – hey – I’m no gardener; what do I know?

Ella - Emmerdale - Jane Reynolds' 'Soap-y Corner' blogspotI can see why Alicia wants to leave though.  The highlight of her week was Charity tipping a plate of food down her chest.  Lots of stuff going on in the Pub this week. Ella had only one thing on her mind:

Alicia: “Do you want to see a menu?”

Ella (brusquely; falling into her glass): “I’m not here to eat.”

Nor was Gennie as she sat there gitting drunk with Jimmy, but she hit on a great potential money-making idea.  “Four glasses of wine and a bag of crisps for my tea.  I should launch my own diet and fitness range.”  Now that’s something I reckon we’d all be interested in!

I’d mentioned several months ago about Gennie (or Genie as Brian Dowling was calling her on This Morning on Friday!) having a make-over and ageing (clothes-wise) about 10 years.  Apart from looking like a transexual banana for most of this week in that yellow dress/cardie, she’s certainly living-up to her new image – with a new-found confidence in the office.

Gennie - Emmerdale - Jane Reynolds' 'Soap-y Corner' blogspotShe’s got those Sharma boys right where she wants them, and all she needs now is a Genie from a magic lamp to deliver her ‘Arabian Prince’ Nikhil (you could just see him dressed in the gear, couldn’t you?).  She’ll be having her wish granted any day now I suspect.  Can’t wait, although Friday’s ending (where she was about to get into bed with Jimmy ), felt a bit contrived.

We all know nothing will have happened (God, I hope not anyway!), but that won’t stop Nicola going-off on one again when she (inevitably) finds out, will it?  Gennie is SO right for Nikhil.  Never mind Wills and Kate, we’re all just waiting for ‘The Kiss’ now, aren’t we?

The scenes between a drunken Charity, Gennie and Katie were great, and there was another hint this week that Katie’s man-dar has locked-on on to Declan.  They’d be another good pair.  Let’s see where this one goes, aye?

Notice how very young Soap children never look at their ‘parents’, but always seem to be staring-off into the middle-distance somewhere (presumably to where their real mother’s standing)?  There’s no way a real parent would have left a toddler on their own so high up on a climbing frame just to answer their phone.  Must have been even worse for Jimmy to have answered and have the words  “Where’s my baby, you creep,” screamed into his ear!

Nikhil - Emmerdale - Jane Reynolds' 'Soap-y Corner' blogspotWhere were Ashley and Laurel’s children when they were having dinner, by the way: washing their hands?  Maybe they were queuing for the bathroom – like Nikhil had to do this week.  Surely a house that size would have more than one bathroom?  He needs to put his foot down.  Trouble is, he’s not very good at that, is he?  Loved Chas’s line: “There’s scarier kittens than Nikhil!”

I always thought Moira Barton was Irish, but heard John saying she was Scottish this week.  Oops; got that one wrong didn’t I (although the name Moira should probably have given me a clue, shouldn’t it)?  Either way, I love listening to her voice.

PS Has Holly put weight on, or is it just that they’re putting make-up on her again now?  After being sacked from the factory she might be about to sink into a decline though, so they’d be best getting the battleship grey face paint out for her – just in case.

PPS It was a bit rich of Lisa to be casting aspersions as to her guilt though – only five minutes after everything she’s just been through.  Ooh, some people have got short memories!

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Why do Soap men always come back from a ‘jog’ with a great wet patch down the middle of their chest – as if they’ve spilled a drink down themselves – and why do EastEnders men go ‘sweaty bag-punching’ whenever they’re upset?  Why can’t they just go ‘Dahn the pub’ – like they do in Corrie and Emmerdale?

Another one who’s spending far too much time thinking he’s Rocky is Jay: “You’re gonna regret the day you mugged me off in front of me bird,” he threatened Eddie menacingly (well, in his own mind aynyway), this week.  What a lovely old-fashioned turn of phrase. You don’t hear that much now, do you? (!)

Kat & Ronnie - EastEnders - Jane Reynolds' Soap-y Corner blogSo, it’s the end of Ronnie.  I must admit, she really acted her socks off this week.  Her face actually altered from her usual stony stare (Kat likened it to a praying mantis, and I agree), and the scenes between her and Roxy were very moving.  It must be really hard to have to do scenes like that with someone you’ve worked with for years (but who’s leaving and you’re going to really miss), and their tears were clearly quite genuine.

I can’t believe Kat let Michael just go off with Tommy like that, but I’m glad everyone believed Ronnie in the end over the necklace and the playground thing. Interestingly, I was looking at Twitter as that Episode was airing (I wasn’t actually watching at that moment), and all the tweets were for Ronnie but none were for Kat, yet it was Kat who – as usual – stole the show for me with her plea to the Judge. Wow.  It sent shivers down my spine.

So, Janine’s rich then?  The week didn’t start too well for her, and even Billy’s Julie thought it fit to add her ten-penneth-worth of advice, but Janine was more than a match for her – even at rock bottom (and dressed in one of Vicky Pollard’s trakkies)!

Julie: “And do you know what I’ve never been short of Janine?”

Janine: “Nits?”

Janine & Lydia - EastEnders - Jane Reynolds' Soap-y Corner blogBrilliant!  I do wish people would believe that she DID love her Granny, but Pat only saw Janine’s anger over the funeral as more of her usual conniving fakeness.  “Lydia had a life that was a lot longer than the ten minutes you knew her,” she snapped, but Lydia and Janine had really bonded over those last few weeks of her life, and it’s all quite sad, as the only thing Janine really wants is to be loved.  Ooh, listen to me – a right old Agony Aunt here!

I’d be having words with Tanya too – especially about the smoking.  It SO doesn’t suit her!  It’s funny what goes on in the mind of people who’re having affairs.  “I love Greg.  I love my life,” she assured Lauren, yet five minutes later she was at it again!  I’m not complaining.  I’d watch Tanya her even if she was playing musical statues.

Jodie & Poppy - EastEnders - Jane Reynolds' Soap-y Corner blogJodie and Poppy have had a lot of scenes this week.  They could be the most fantastic double-act, but it still isn’t quite working for me.  What did work was putting them with Shirley.

Poppy: “You do regularly exfoliate?”

Shirley (sarcastically): ” … Yeah; every day (!)”

PS Ricky’s shirt was popular in the 70’s.  I had one quite similar.

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