Summer Soapy Special

I’m taking a week off (my first break since the four days I took 4 days off last August!), but because I’m leaving at the crack of dawn on Monday I just haven’t got time to put out my full Soapy Corners, so rather than not post anything I’ve just done a quick roundup of the week’s best bits.


It’s been Good Mum vs Bad Mum this week. The good mum’s Michelle, who shopped Ryan to the Police (I’m surprised Curse-ty didn’t barge in and arrest him during her free time between attacks on Tyrone), then put Steve firmly in his place by letting him know that she knew exactly what his game was, and that his being nice to Ryan wasn’t just because he was a nice guy!

There was some really funny stuff between them, and I loved the bit when they shook hands in the Rovers and Steve didn’t let go so Michelle just tugged hers away. A lovely little moment. Our Michelle’s an ‘independent woman’, and it’s nice to see her thriving in her role as Carla’s stand-in (despite Rob thinking he’s running the show).

The bad mum’s been … yes, you’ve guessed it: Curse-ty. Well, mum-to-be, but how low was it to make Tyrone apologise to ‘baby’, especially as HE didn’t have anything to apologise FOR!

That attack was the worst so far. For a moment I reckon we all thought she was going to stab him, but after beating him with the hoover pipe she twisted it round so that he ended up apologising to her. Sheesh.

What horrible manipulation, and how heartbreaking (and frustrating) is it to see poor Tyrone condoning/validating her behaviour? Where will it end? He CAN’T stay with her, surely? I know I keep saying it, but I don’t want to see this storyline neatly resolve itself with her going off to a couple of anger management classes and them suddenly living ‘happily ever after’ with the new baby. It just wouldn’t feel ‘real’.

I’ll bet it’s feeling all too real for Sunita – or soon will do when those debts start piling up. I loved the Tracy/Emily/Norris stuff this week, and the Gail/Kylie stuff too. There’s been some lovely writing – and some great comic acting, this week.

Grins of the Week:

Ryan (about Kylie): “She used to be a cage dancer.”

Sean: “I could have been one of those but I don’t like to be hemmed-in.”

Kylie: “I fancy a nice hot soak and a good read of a gossip mag, but no famous people: real folk who sleep with their Auntie’s dad then name and shame them.”

Gary: “When mum comes home she’s going to make your favourite.”

Izzy: “Fresh lobster, caught from the canal?”

Emily (to Norris, about Tracy): “She wanted to hoover the carpet, not murder you.”

PS A sweet moment between Sylvia and Roy (he did that brilliant thing again that he’s started doing recently: flinching when someone gets too physically close to him) when she said. “Thank you Roy … for SO much.” Aah.

PS Just a special word for Carchelle fans. How good is Michelle looking? She’s stepped right in to Carla’s role and looks every inch the modern, professional businesswoman. Just the woman Carla would want/need at her side (in every way!).


Charity’s planning to pounce on the King’s haulage company. She’s at her finest when she’s playing the ‘sexy businesswoman’. It puts a spark in her eyes and a fire in her belly like nothing else. She could sell me anything …

It’s what’s in Rachel’s belly that’s going to rock Charity’s world though, and her line to Jai, “We’re working together. Everybody’s on top of each other,” made me laugh, as that’s exactly how it all started (on the factory floor that night)!

Charity and Rishi make a good team, and as Jimmy and Carl don’t seem able to run a tap between them at the moment, I think a management restructure would make for some right good (and VERY FUNNY) viewing.

The Kerry/Amy/Val/Eric stuff’s been great. Some poignant (and funny) writing and acting. Amy – in particular – has been excellent. I’m so glad Kerry’s staying.

Alex and Moira’s chemistry’s been sizzling this week. Loving it. How rude and unprofessional was it of that guy to imply that if Moira didn’t go out with him she wouldn’t get the contract though? There’s laws against that sort of thing, aren’t there?

Grins of the Week:

Nikhil: “Let’s have a lads’ night out.”

David: “Much as I’d love to watch you count the calories in half a pint, I’m going to have to say no.”

Alex: “You know I’m not big on all this mind game stuff.”

Vic: “Well, you’d actually need a mind in the first place.”

Amy: “What are you doing?”

Kerry: “She was asking about me, and I can’t talk about me without talking about you.”

Amy: “I bet you can. You’ve been doing it for years.”

Alex (about Vic): “What kind of mood’s she in?”

David: “Gobby.”

Amy: “I’m not sure laundry is a spectator sport.”

Charity: “Oh, dear, Nikhil. What’s wrong? Has Gennie put a crease in your Y-fronts?”

PS Er, Adam’s taking rather a long holiday, isn’t it? They’re supposed to be stacked-out with work. How can anyone just go off for weeks on end like that?

PS I’ve seen Andy’s muscles, so how come the poor little lamb’s huffing and puffing and only able to carry one tiny box at a time to the van?

PS I haven’t got time to put a photo up of it this week, but do have a look at how much Vicar Jude looks like Robbie (although I imagine it’d be way too much of a coincidence for him to be Robbie’s dad?).

PS Doesn’t Misery Ali look different when she ‘lets her hair down’ and puts a bit of slap on? Different woman!


Hold the front page. I’ve enjoyed EastEnders this week. It’s been … better, somehow. It’s seemed to move at a faster pace, had more scenes, and has just felt somehow more ‘watchable’.

That’s not to say I haven’t had my gripes. Those homeless people looked way too clean, and as for the young girl who led Max to Ian: well, that haircut wasn’t done with a piece of glass or a rusty knife …

Apart from someone having drawn an ‘N’ on her neck with a felt-tip pen, she looked every inch the trendy, young student and certainly not someone living rough! As for Catweazle Ian: the jury’s out on that one, but I did think it was a clever touch that he didn’t speak.

This one could go either way. We could see a bit of brilliant writing and acting next week, or it could be squirmingly tedious. We’ll have to see, won’t we?

I’ve got to have a Line of the Week again this week, and it’s the lovely Tanya (to Laurel): “Ain’t you got tramps to feed?” As for my Grin of the Week, there’s just the one!

Kim: “I’ve got plans as well you know, like pedicure, manicure, hair … cure.”

PS Where did Max get all that cash to give to the homeless girl? I thought he was meant to be hard up?

PS CC flicked her fag ash straight onto the carpet. Dirty girl!

PS Lola’s baby’s grown again this week. It’ll be wearing Lola’s clothes soon, and speaking of Lola: she looks far too perky and fresh-faced to be the the mother of a one week-old (ha, six month old, more like) baby.

This SO gives the wrong impression to teenage girls. Seeing Lola pushing her perfect baby Flexi Lexi (who never cries and clearly sleeps through the night) around the Square makes motherhood look a real breeze. This is not what it’s like in real life. Credibility?

*** Soapy Corners will be back on Sunday 19th August. See you then! ***

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