The best Christmas ever?

EastEnders Christmas Logo - Jane Reynolds's weekly 'Queen Vic Corner' reviewYou can hear me talking Soaps 10.30-11.00 am every Thursday on Swindon (or simply use the tunein Radio App) and on my internet Soap Show 6.00-6.30 every Thursday on Tellyspy.

Mr Moon spoke too soon …

Ronnie EastEndersDidn’t you just know that the second Alfie starting spouting-on to Kat about having “The best Christmas ever. Just you, me and Tommy upstairs at the Vic,” you’d barely have time to shout ‘no chance’ before some disaster occurred, and – sure enough – Ronnie appeared like a wicked pantomime fairy to tell them that Phil was selling up and that they’d have to leave.

I can see it now: they’ll be turfed out on Christmas Eve and end up walking the streets with all their possessions in one (empty) suitcase, under the light of the (Alfie) moon like Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus, before someone eventually takes pity on them and invites them in to spend Christmas at their (already overcrowded) house.

Sounds about right? Almost as believable as new landlords taking over a pub on Christmas Day, innit? Don’t even get me started on that one, or that Jake character walking in for the first day of his trial and within five minutes (alone, and without any advice from Ian) was cooking every dish on the menu.

Duracell Cabbie

TerryI’m really loving Terry. He’s settling in nicely and is totally believable as a cheery cabbie, but I’m finding it a real stretch to believe that he’d have been married to Nikki or that they’d have produced those two children (who don’t seem to look anything like either of them)!

NikkiIt was only when she opened her gob that she sounded like an East End gel. I know it’s been a long time since I was on a plane, but I don’t ever remember an air hostess with a cockney accent, and she has that annoying habit of emphasising the wrong words when delivering her lines too (mostly something done only by not-very-good child actors).

Terry does well to stay so cheerful. Not only does he go out and work all night, but then come home and spend the whole day doing jobs around the house and running errands for Bianca. When’s the poor guy meant to get any sleep, and – more importantly – what’s he on?

The other bits:

More lean pickings for our Grins of the Week:

Jake: “If my trial shift doesn’t work out, I’ve still got my cab licence, right?”

Sadie: “Yeah. That might be a problem, seeing as I sold your car last night.”

Terrry, Rosie & TJRosie: “Can I tidy the kitchen?”

Terry: “Yeah, you can. TJ, you can help her … and if you don’t know how to do it, get on the internet and find out.”

Bianca: “What am I going to talk about if you’re not here?”

Terry: “Don’t worry; she’ll do all the talking.”


* Please get Sam to send Dexter a one-way ticket to go and be with him (in Spain, presumably?). I don’t know of anyone who rates this character. He should have been the one to leave, not Ava.

* How did Lauren manage to get into Scarlett’s kitchen from outside? It’s one of those doors with a bar that can only be opened from the inside.

* Lauren told Jake that she wasn’t a ‘needy’ person. Yeah, and I’m a supermodel.

* Jake told Bella to go upstairs and wash her hands when she was stood next to the sink in the kitchen.

* Carol asked Alice if she needed any toothpaste. She certainly doesn’t need the sort with ‘whitener’.


YOU MIGHT ALSO ENJOY MY YAHOO!TV SOAP ARTICLE: WHAT WE LEARNT FROM LAST WEEK’S SOAPS’. (Original material, not duplicated from this post.) A humorous look at this week’s money/time-saving tips and hints from Soapland!

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