I took this Sunrise Over Swindon on Monday morning (Sunday’s was completely grey). My office is in direct sunlight from about 10.30-1.00 when the sun’s out (obviously!). Thank goodness for blinds, that’s what I say!
It’s 11.00 am on Monday 17th Dec as I write this last section of this week’s blog. It’s late, but I don’t know how I’ve managed to get it out at all (well, I DO; it’s because I’ve worked even longer hours than normal to make it happen) as my father’s fading fast and – in the space of 17 days – has gone from still driving to now being completely bedridden.
He’s barely eating and is just skin and bone. It’s hearkbreaking to see, and to not be able to do anything to help – except try to keep him going (when he’s telling you he’d rather be dead) is so very hard.
What sort of society are we that we can fill a dying man full of pills to try to keep him alive when just one pill would end his suffering? We put animals to sleep; so why not people? I hope and pray that by the time I’m ever in that position it will be legal to simply pop a pill and just drift away.
As you can imagine, it’s a huge strain, and I STILL haven’t finished my tax! It’s three-quarters done now, and I’m desperate to get it to my accountant by Friday at the latest, but as for Christmas …
Once this blog is out and posted in all its various places I’ll be able to concentrate on that (after I’ve done my tax!), but there’s such a lot to do and my two brothers, sister-in-law and brother’s girlfriend are all rallying round to help make sure that my father’s cared for in his last weeks (days?).
The smell of food cooking in the house makes him feel sick, and I can’t begin to imagine what thoughts must be going through his head as he lies in his bed – simply waiting to die.
When I look at them so clearly having a ball (my dad’s the guy on the left and my mum’s on sax) and think of the man I see lying helpless in bed I just want to cry.
It’s something you don’t think about when you’re young – or until a close family member dies, but it’s certainly giving me a lot to think about and when it’s all over it’s going to be a huge (enforced) change to my life and will force me to re-evaluate everything that I’m doing with regard to my writing.
Still; that’s not for today. There won’t be a blog this week (Sunday 23rd) as I simply haven’t got the time to do one, but there will be a full blog coming out sometime over New Year week (depending on how things are going).
As it’s Christmas week I’m going to do my best to keep up with my radio stuff, and I’ll be guesting on the Girls About Town show between 10.00-12.00 am on Wednesday 19th; doing my Soapy Spot on Alastair Greener’s Big Mid-morning show from 10.45-11.15 on Thursday 20th and co-presenting a festive TGI Friday show with Paul Dawkins, 4.00-5.00 pm on Friday 21st, all on Swindon 1055.com.
‘Jane’s Soapy Corners’ are LIVE as usual from 6.00-6.30 pm this Wednesday night on Tellyspy, and there will be a Christmas Special at 6.00 on Saturday 22nd (more details to come on Twitter).
* ‘Jane’s Soapy Corners’ have gone digital. Simply download the Podcasts App onto your iPhone or iPad then search your iPhone or iPad then search for Tellyspy and they’re all there.
Right. I hope you have a very Happy Christmas, and thank you so much for reading my blog/Soapy Corners over the year. See you on the other side.