'Emmerdale-y' – 11th September 2011

(I’m going to be reporting from the red carpet outside the Savoy on Tuesday for the Daz TV Choice Soap Awards.  I haven’t got much of an idea as to what’s actually going to happen on the night, but am thrilled at being part of the Press and to hopefully have a chance of speaking to some the people I write about each week. There’ll be a full report in next week’s blog.)

My favourite Emmerdale scenes revolve around Charity, Chas, Cain and Debbie (in any combination)!  They’re such fine actors that it’s just a joy to watch them and this week was no exception. The digs/great one-liners came thick and fast.

Cain & Charity - Emmerdale - Jane Reynolds' weekly 'Emmerdale-y' reviewDebbie (to Cain): It’d be a bit weird: you going to mum’s Engagement do.”

Cain: “I’ll come to the next one.”

Charity (to Cain): “Please don’t do that.  Don’t chew those bits of skin round your nails, it’s revolting.”

Cain: “Yeah, so’s your face.”

They’ve had a lot to contend with this week – and I’m not talking about Sarah’s illness.  It’s Andy. What’s up with him?  The way he’s been behaving towards Cameron’s a disgrace, and if he was happy to pack his weights and his paranoia off to Spain before her illness, why’s it so different now?

Cameron, Andy & Sarah - Emmerdale - Jane Reynolds' weekly 'Emmerdale-y' reviewHe’s ranting-on about another man bringing up his kid, while living across the road with another woman and her kid.  Er, spot the hypocrite! Still, Andy’s never been the most rational of blokes, has he?  He’s lucky too, that Cameron’s a gentle man, or he’d have knocked him into next week for the way he kicked-off when he took Sarah to the Cafe.  It was hardly a big deal, and Cameron shouldn’t have apologised for it.

Still, it’s all sorted now that he’s put his bossy boot down with Alicia too (no discussion!), and told her the move’s off.  It was sweet the way he explained it to Sarah though: “They’ve ran out of that beer daddy likes in Spain, so I’m not going now.”  As luck would have it, Hairy David’s taken Alicia on (to cope with the rush), at the shop.  It won’t be long before she’ll be doing more than standing behind the counter and telling him to “Put the gun down,” I suspect (how many times have we heard that line in the Village over the years?!), but as Hairy David’s a far better proposition in my book (I’ve never been one for muscles personally), she’ll have soon got over the disappointment.

Andy & Alicia - Emmerdale - Jane Reynolds' weekly 'Emmerdale-y' reviewI thought for a moment they were going to go on the Honeymoon together but Hairy David offered her and Andy the chance to go instead, yet Andy couldn’t see past his usual red mist. “Thailand?” he exclaimed (in what Alicia thought was excitement).

“I know,” she gushed.  “I’ve always wanted to go to the Caribbean!” (Sounds like something Brenda would say these days, but it wouldn’t have been funny if Brenda had said it!)

He put his foot down on that one too (even though Sarah was away in Jersey), and Alicia’s dreams of foreign shores were over.  She’ll just have to settle for dressing like a Spaniard from now on.  Maybe her “Hoops and implants,” (Ruth’s description of her), will turn the tide for the shop?  I hope David’s got enough paint left for the sign, as he’ll be re-naming it Alicia’s before the week’s out I expect.

Val & Eric - Emmerdale - Jane Reynolds' weekly 'Emmerdale-y' reviewAnother business in need of a kick-start is the B&B.  Spending more time there and less in the pub might be a start, and a few less domestics in front of the customers wouldn’t be a bad thing either. Eric’s more for playing the long game:

Eric: “A business like ours is always by word of mouth.”

Val: “Who’s going to talk about us if no-one’s staying here?”

As Amy left the house to go with Zac, Val ran out after her and asked her where she’d been, so Amy replied that she’d been at the house.

Val: “You could have told us.”

Amy: “I didn’t get a chance, you’ve been at the B&B all morning.”

If she had, how come she came out of the house, and how come Amy hadn’t seen or heard her arrive, or seen her on her way out … and don’t they have phones, or mobiles? It would have been better to have had Val simply arriving at the house as Amy was leaving …

There were some touching scenes between Amy and Val though.  “You’re my kid.  I CHOSE you.  My real kids; I just had them,” Val explained.  “I understand you – apart from your dreadful make-up,” she added.  Not just me thinks that then (and I’m guessing she meant to add ‘hair’ to that too), as Amy’s suddenly acquired the look of a tree-hugger.

Amy - Emmerdale - Jane Reynolds' weekly 'Emmerdale-y' reviewI must admit though, her face has been a lot less red over the last couple of weeks (but you can still see where the foundation finishes at her jawline when she’s in profile!), and she looks so much better for it.

Zac’s puzzled by Amy’s behaviour too.  “I don’t know what’s got into that lass,” he sighed.  We do (his name’s Cain), and that’s why she’s behaving the way she is!  Eric and Val are going to hit the roof when this comes out (shouldn’t she be ‘showing’ by now?), but they should be proud of her for one thing: getting the Good Drinking From a Mug award this week as she sat chatting with Zac!

Someone who’s looking prettier and more grown-up is Victoria.  Her hair really suits her that colour, and she’s putting in some great performances with Amy again this week.  Why’s Amy lying to her too though?  She just doesn’t know when to stop, does she?

It seems that the baby’s due on the 30th December which means that (assuming she’s not going to lose it somewhere along the line), it’ll either pop out on Christmas or New Year’s Eve/Day (as Soap babies have a habit of doing)!

Speaking of babies: someone needs to remind Rhona that Leo is actually a baby, as she was holding him as if he was a muddy dog when she and Paddy were talking to Laurel in the street (look out for cars).  Laurel – on the other hand – looked a natural as she fed Leo his bottle.

Laurel & Marlon - Emmerdale - Jane Reynolds' weekly 'Emmerdale-y' reviewThat’s another reason why she and Marlon should get together.  He also looks born to it in every scene he does with the baby, and we need them to get together and have a baby of their own.  (This storyline’s coming together more and more in my head every week!)  Oh, those lingering looks and exquisite pain/jealousy that two people share when they’re desperate for each other.  The writers have got it just right, and Marlon and Laurel are playing their parts beautifully.

Aaron - Emmerdale - Jane Reynolds' weekly 'Emmerdale-y' reviewA different sort of pain is what Aaron’s started inflicting on himself. We’ve got Tyler knocking seven bells out of a punchbag in EastEnders at the moment, and now half the cast of Emmerdale are at it too (including Vic)! Not content with that though, he’s now grating his hand across headstones. If he puts any more tape round his fist he won’t be able to get his boxing gloves on. I hope he doesn’t go too far down the self-harming road though, as it makes me feel a bit queasy.

And now it’s time for Grin of the Week.

Rachel: “Are you busy?”

Chas: “Yes thanks.”

Val (to David about Amy): She’s not like Leyla.  She’s a completely different kind of liar.”

Charity: “How many men have you had?”

Val: “Enough to know what I’m talking about.”

Charity: “And yet you end up with Pollard.”

Eric: “At least I’m still alive – unlike most of your former conquests.”

John: “Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.”

Moira: “Little?”

John: “All right then: your big, fat head.”

PS Cameron certainly seems to enjoy kissing Debbie … ooh, it’s very convincing!

PPS Nikhil went clothes shopping this week.  More Harry Hill shirts Nik?  Send your old ones to Michael Moon.  Those big collars will look a lot better on his long neck than they do on yours, love.

PPPS If Brenda’s got a dodgy tummy she really shouldn’t be at work.  Hasn’t she heard what happened to Pat and Tony on The Archers when Clarrie went to work with a dicky tummy?  (Will that be an up-coming storyline I wonder: E. coli?)

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