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Walford gets an eyeful; Shirley’s ‘evil eye’ is back; Kirsty’s eye makeup needs attention and Kat and Alfie kiss and make up.
As usual, money doesn’t seem to be of any concern to most of Walford’s residents. Alfie could afford to close the pub for his stag do and they also closed the R&R (who owns it this week, by the way?) so that Roxy could ‘ave a proper Mitchell knees up for her hen night.
If he’s not looking at ‘Kat’s Tats’ (even SHE can’t take her eyes off them!), Alfie’s giving her puppy dog eyes, and we had that big moment this week where she told him, “You’re not ‘my Alfie’ anymore.
“I’ll always be ‘your Alfie’,” he replied tenderly, and at that minute I felt like retracting everything I’d said about being sick to death of their on/off relationship, as it really felt ‘real’ again. What an old softie I am!
Still, what’s going to happen, aye? Will the wedding go ahead? If it doesn’t; Roxy could always earn herself a few bob on the streets. Sorry, but she and Ronnie looked could just like a couple of hookers sat there like that.
If Roxy needs money in the weeks ahead she need look no further than minted Max. If he wasn’t handing out dosh to Lauren and Kirsty he was offering to take his girls out for dinner ‘somewhere nice’ and buy takeaways, but where’s the money coming from? He’s presumably got a mortgage on that house and has bills to pay? His cashmere jumpers alone must be costing him a bomb, yet he never seems to do any work.
It didn’t take much work for Sadie to move house either. House? She said she’d got a house, yet that place is a flat, surely? Would you call that poxy hob and breakfast bar ‘a kitchen’? It only seemed to take half an hour to move in too, and without any help from Jake.
Kick him to the kerb and get together with Max, ok?
It’s SO great to see Walford’s ‘ardest ‘ard man Shirley back, and with a lesbian sister in tow too. So nice to see her happy, smiling face again! That Carl wants to watch out now ‘Shirl’s about’, and maybe she can sort Janine out too?
Janine’s brass neck takes some beating, doesn’t it? “Letting a guy get away with murder. A man nearly died. You can’t just ‘get away’ with these things,” she pontificated about Ian. Ooh, she’s got a nerve!
Ian has to win a ‘Stupid, or What?’ Award this week for this example of a man’s lack of grasp of a woman’s meaning:
Denise: “I think I’d rather be lonely on my own than lonely in a relationship.”
Ian: “So what are you saying?”
There was some Appropriate/Inappropriate Music in the Background this week as Alfie agonised over Kat. We had Human League’s ‘Don’t you want me baby?’, Wham’s ‘I’m your man’ and ‘She’s in love with you, she’s in love with you’ from Spandau Ballet’s ‘Gold’ playing out at his exact-most ‘angst-ridden’ moments, and we even had a fair few Grins of the Week too:
Alfie: “About tomorrow’s funeral: I don’t think there’s going to be a big turnout.”
Janine: “That’s cos no one liked him.”
Shirley: “Yeah. Like half the women in London!”
Joey: “Do you know anything about wine?”
Kat: “Yeah. It gets you drunk.”
Denise: “I’m fed up with people thinking I’m a pushover.”
Shirley: “You don’t mind them thinking you’re an ‘eartless cow though?”
Shirley: “What (music) would you have played at my funeral?”
Phil: “Bat out of hell?”
David (sighs): ” … Not unless she’s hiding under the table (!)”
Shirley: “I want to make a new start.”
Phil: “What as – a children’s entertainer?”
Roxy’s palm reader: “They say he’s a kind man; gentle disposition.”
Sal: “They called it ‘simple’ in my day.”
Lauren: “What you lookin’ at?”
Joey: “The prettiest girl in Walford … she’s right behind you.”
Denise: “Nothing wrong with a bit of window shopping (men), is there?”
Tina: “Just as long as you don’t ‘open your purse’!”
* I know nothing about fashion, but Abi just seems to dress in ‘old lady’ clothes (and not in a good way). Is that what passes for trendy these days?
* I’d like Shirley’s part-time job at the Minute Mart if an advance on her wages was enough for her to put a deposit down on a flat.
* Alfie promised he’d tell Tommy about Michael when he was older. Are you sure that’s wise? I’d start saving for his shrink right now if I were you, mate!
* Bianca wondered what Roxy would be wearing at the wedding. “Something really trashy,” she cackled. Er, pot, kettle, B?!
* You’d think with all Janine’s money she’d be able to afford a decent hairdresser/colourist!
* Anyone who follows me on Twitter will know of my penchant for pasta, red wine and bread, so seeing Max and Tanya drinking red wine while cooking a spag bol had me slavering. They didn’t get round to eating it though. He’d said he was starving, so surely Max should have had his tea BEFORE splitting up with Kirsty? Fool.
YOU MIGHT ALSO ENJOY MY YAHOO!TV SOAP ARTICLE: ‘WHAT WE LEARNT FROM LAST WEEK’S SOAPS’. (Original material, not duplicated from this post.) A humorous look at this week’s money/time-saving tips and hints from Soapland!