TV Times 22nd May

The Apprentice

Week 3 The Savoy

How they manage to get from being tucked up in bed at 6.00 when the call come in, to fully dressed, beautifully made-up and out the door by half past (the girls, not the boys!), This week's Apprentice - from 'TV Times' in Jane Reynolds' blogis beyond me. Anyone who’s lived with a woman – or is a woman – knows that it’s never that quick. Even I (as someone who’s often mistaken for something you’d find in the woods), take at least half an hour, so I don’t know how they do it!

Not sure why ‘SirAlan’ swapped them around so soon, but Venture were lucky to get the lovely Jim who – once again – performed in his calm, engaging way; charming everyone he came into contact with.  Aah, that soft Irish voice, gentle smile and those sparkly eyes (sighs longingly).  Sorry, where was I?

Logic.  Boy, I bet they’re regretting that name?  Sometimes when I watch The Apprentice, I see things which I find unbelievable – stupidity-wise – and this week was one of those times.  If they didn’t know what something was, why didn’t they just ask? I can’t believe that not one of them thought to actually check what a cloche was.

I knew, but that’s because I’m clever (no, it’s because anyone who’s a bit of a foodie would probably know), and as for going into ‘Top Hat’ dry cleaners because they thought it might give them a clue … it’s like going into Millets and asking if they know where you can get cuttlefish for your budgie.  The shot of Karren stood silently shaking her head in disbelief was classic!

They were the equivalent of one of those stupid flies that buzz round a room at a thousand miles an hour – but with no bloody clue where they’re actually going, and who can’t even find the window you’ve opened wide for them to get out! So, lightbulbs … in Teddington.  Thinks: “We’re in Central Lundun. Teddington’s in Saarff Lundun, so we’ll go there first, then nip up to Norff Lundun to get some ice. Yeah, that’s a good idea.”  Hmm. clever.  No flies on you guys then, aye?

Vincent’s bugging me.  His hair’s too long and he never stops playing with his eyebrows and that bumfluff on his chin.  Someone should tell him: “Pulling it won’t make it grow any longer love.”  I’ve realised who he reminds me of too. Look: it’s Sportacus from Lazy Town!It's Vincent from The Apprentice - Jane Reynolds TV Times

My favourite bit was when SirAlan challenged Tom, who had to hastily backtrack, and squirmed “It seemed to me like he (Gavin) was a bit of a beaten man at that moment,” and Siralan responded:

“I’d have felt like a beaten man at Eleven o’clock in the morning when I realised I didn’t have a bloody clue.”  Great stuff!

Don’t you just love seeing them trying to blag it in the boardroom and try to save themselves/blame everyone else for their team’s failure (especially the Project Managers)?  If you say things like “They all went off and did their own thing,” and “Nobody took any notice of what I said,” you’re probably going to be heading home.  Don’t they realise too, that SirAlan’s seen it all, and knows exactly what really went on?

I’m not sure I’d want to have women spinning around over my head while I was drinking (it would be spinning enough already if I’d had a cocktail!), but it certainly looked pretty impressive watching it on TV. (The background music was the fabulous Puppini Sisters singing Mr Sandman by the way, in case you wondered.)  Roll on Wednesday!

I’ve had such a busy week this week that I’ve recorded (but haven’t yet got round to watching), Britain’s Next Big Thing with Theo Paphitis, but it’s top of the list for tonight (Sunday)!


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