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Peter and Carla’s grubby little affair continues. “Peter always comes back full of the joys of spring after his counselling,” Leanne trilled proudly. Yeah, I’ll bet he does. Meeting in that alley (with him dragging on that fag and then breathing the smoke straight in her face), turned my stomach and I think it turned Carla’s too, as she couldn’t help but turn her head away. If he can give up drink, he should have told her he was giving up smoking too, as (and I repeat), there is no way Carla would go out with a smoker …
What a ‘brilliant’ excuse he managed to come up with to apease Stella though (that he’d noticed Carla had the same necklace so took Leanne’s back). Trouble is, Carla didn’t START wearing the necklace until Christmas (and said she’d bought it for herself), yet Stella saw it BEFORE Christmas. Oops. Did you forget that bit, Stella? Don’t think you’d make much of a Policewoman, love.
And as for Policewomen …
That ‘excuse for a girlfriend’ Creepy Curse-ty has gone too far now. “You don’t need protecting from me,” she simpered at Tyrone – all hurt and innocent-looking. Er, yes he does. The wheels came off her wagon a long time ago, but to chase Tina down the road is just bonkers, and as for being pregnant? What do you think Jeremy Kyle would say to you, Tyrone? Yeah: “Should have put something on the end of it!”
It was a bit presumptious of that lady Doctor to tell her, “You’re pregnant; congratulations.” How did SHE know it was something Kirsty would be pleased about? She should have just told her simply, “We’ve done some tests and we’ve found out you’re pregnant,” or words to that effect.
That was all she needed to get her claws back into him. How many of us were screaming at the screen “Don’t do it!” when he told her they were back together? “She’s trapped you mate, and you’re so sad and pathetic that you can’t even see it,” Tina tried to tell him, but to no avail. Jeepers. He’s a young man. Ditch the witch and move on, Ty. We can’t cope with the stress!
I want to shout “Don’t do it” to Silly Sally too, but they actually look good together, and there’s a part of me that thinks they’d be a great couple … if he wasn’t a rapist! An up-market boyfriend for Sally would be a gem for the writers. She’s long been accused of being ‘up herself’, but having a boyfriend like Frank – and running his Factory – would be Sally’s dream come true.
He has to ‘go down’ for the rape (presumably), and that’ll be that I guess, but it’s one that I felt could have run and run – in different circumstances.
I was relieved to hear that Stella had been turned down for a mortgage. I can’t imagine Steve not being there, and wonder what’s going to happen, although Sunita starting as a barmaid will give Dev a lot to get puffed-up about (which is always a good thing)!
We’ve all cringed by our parents’ behaviour at some point in our lives (as they have about ours!), but Dev really takes the biscuit! He bought Amber a filofax for her Birthday: telling her she could store numbers and make notes, etc. “Who needs phones when you’ve got one of these?” she replied wearily, but soon brightened up when she saw he’d bought her a car. How did he afford that, then? I thought they were skint?
From skint to skin (I don’t just throw this blog together you know!). The whole fish thing has really ‘gone off’ now. Boring? Don’t ask, although it’s provided us with a few funny lines:
Owen: “The new fish are settling in.”
Anna: “Oh, good for them.”
Owen: “Yeah. They love the torchlight.” (Er, how do you know that?)
Anna: “Probably think it’s a nightclub.”
I’m happy to watch any scene with Anna in. She’s got such a sweet, kind face. The sort of mum you’d really love to have, but she’s been lumbered with that devil-child Faye. What’ll happen when they find out it was her who poisoned the fish? (It’s ok. I’m not going to make any fish jokes!)
Every time Faye does something bad, gets caught-out, then promises not to do it again, she DOES. I find it very frustrating, and to deliberately kill Owen’s fish is really serious. No matter what they do for her, she just throws it back in their faces. Ungrateful little mare. There. I’ve said it.
If I was adopted by such a lovely family, there’s NO WAY I’d ever want to do anything to jeopardise that. Kids, aye? (tuts!)
As if by magic though, Becky looks to have found a child of her own (and a nice man to go with him)! We’ve watched her get the stuffing kicked out of her for over a year now, but it looks as if she might finally be getting a lucky break (if only real life worked like that).
“I take it this is more of a nascent romance then?” Roy asked her.
“I could answer that Royston – if I know what you were on about,” she replied.
I had to look it up myself, but nascent means: ‘New. Just coming into existence, and showing signs of potential’, and that certainly seems to be the case.
We SO want Becky to leave on a high. Maybe she’ll do a Soap-swap at some point. Cindy’s now in Corrie; Lloyd seems to have arrived in EastEnders (see last week’s Queen Vic Corner), and Amber’s borrowed Mandy’s jumper. What next? Stella inherits some of Pat Butcher’s earrings?
We’ve got a Bad Acting from a Bit-Part Actor this week in Frank’s P.I., and how much more of a blatant Appropriate/Inappropriate music in the background track could we get than Take That’s #Greatest Day of my Life playing as Becky and Danny kissed each other in his house!
What a bumper week it was for one-liners. There were so many I had to leave some out (and it’s been a while since I’ve had to do that)! Thanks especially to the writer Julie Jones for loads of laughs on Friday, and to all the writers for my Grins of the week:
Gail: “Kerplunk. It’s like bumping into an old friend.”
Kylie: “You need to get out more, you do.”
Mary: “Norris is very gifted.”
Rita: “First I’ve heard.”
Becky (to Tracy): “When I want your opinion, I’ll just yank your chain.”
Sylvia: “You seem in a good mood.”
Becky: “It’s cos I had a good night.”
Sylvia: “Break into a distillery, did we? Or steal some hubcaps?”
Mary: “Norris was channelling the spirit of Franz Liszt.”
Syliva: “Sounded more like Les Dawson to me.”
David (to Tracy): “I could do you a bob.”
Kylie: “Do her one of those asymmetrical fringes – cover her face up.”
Danny: “You’re prone to the odd meltdown then?”
Becky: “Only with spineless morons.”
Kirsty (to Tina): “I haven’t got a clue what you’re talking about – but what else is new?”
PS What’s Fiz done to her hair? Did Kirk do it for her?
PPS I didn’t know Tyrone worked Part-Time at Asda. That jacket looks just like the ones they wear in my local store.
PPPS Hope Sunita’s a better barmaid than Stella. She asked for a glass of white wine and Stella brought her Rosé (unless it was a White Zinfandel – or similar – but I doubt it … )
PPPPS Kylie’s Cuticles? Still makes me feel bilious whenever she says it!
PPPPPS Why did Anna and Owen leave the Platts’ by the back door? Were they going to climb over the fence, or what?
Let’s end on a philosophical note this week. “Fortune is as fortune does. Think on.” Wise words from Sylvia there … What?
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